Alfie Buttle headcannons - (sfw) . ˳ ✧ॱ
⭑ Genuinely panics when you’re overstimulated, like trying to do anything he can to calm you down.
“I don’t know what you want from me, girl!”
⭑ Blows on your face and neck to try and cool you down when you’re overwhelmed but just ends up pissing you off.
⭑ Is used to you being a hypochondriac so everytime you start panicking about something being wrong with you, he’ll check for you, tell you that you’re just overthinking it, then go back to what he was doing.
“Nah, your chill you don’t have haemorrhoids, bun…” he’d tell you calmly before turning his attention back to his laptop screen.
⭑ Lets you chew and suck on him whenever you want, like doesn’t even bat an eyelid when you bite his arm when you’re in bed together.
⭑ Will do anything in his power to piss you off. Smacking your bum, poking you, pulling your hair, wrapping himself around you when you’re trying to do something. You name it, he’s done it.
⭑ When you argue, he will let you get over your mood on your own, no pandering or begging. He’ll watch you from a distance of course but he’ll always just leave you to sulk.
⭑ Switches up so much, one second he could be throwing his guts up and then the next minute he’s running around the gaff shouting.
⭑ Loves nothing more than a lazy day cuddled up on the couch with you. He’ll encourage you to nap and eat, that’s all he expects from you.
⭑ Absolutely FOLDS at your puppy eyes, you can get away with anything when you give him them.
⭑ When he bought the flat in London, he definitely had you in mind. Would you like the kitchen? Will she be able to get up the stairs when she’s drunk? Is the shower okay for her? (turns out it’s not and you hate the shower).
⭑ You’d sit with him while he’s editing, when you giggle at a clip he’ll replay it over and over again until you don’t find it funny anymore. When you don’t laugh, he’ll grumble and roll his eyes.
“Yeah it’s calm, didn’t find it funny anyway…” (he definitely did and he wanted your validation. If you don’t laugh, it’s not funny).
⭑ Always helps you fake tan your back, even helps you scrub it off when you can’t be bothered.
⭑ He is such a sweetheart when you’re on your period, the second you mention that you’re in pain, he’s getting up and doing something about it. He googles things that helps and then suggests that you try them together.
Even if you’re a bitch, he’s not fazed. He’ll just try and kiss away your frustration until you smile.
⭑ Everything he gets you is bunny themed or pink, he just knows his girl. Bunny mug for Easter, pink hairdryer and straightener set for Christmas and a cute pink bag with a matching wallet for your birthday.
⭑ “Jokingly” defends you on the pod, he’d defend you with a smile on his face and a slight chuckle but you know he’s being deadly serious.
“Nah, readers a little tart…”
“Oi, stop calling my bird a tart, that’s my ting!”
⭑ He’s used to you being sensitive, when the boys make a joke about you he’s immediately looking over at you to make sure you also found it funny.
⭑ When you’re sick he’s the biggest softie ever. Cuddles and tea all day, back rubs and kisses.
“Aww, come here, bunny…” he’d coo as he pulls you into him.
⭑ Hates you talking bad about yourself, even it’s a joke.
“Alf, I swear your tits are bigger than mine.” You chuckle, jokingly squeezing his pecs. He frowns and cups your face.
“Your tits are perfectly voluptuous. Stop it.” He frowns, softly telling you off before leaning down to kiss your chest.
⭑ Always wants back scratches. Like always.
He’ll turn around in bed so his backs to you and ask you to scratch his back and then if you stop he’ll whine and nudge his bum against you.
“Alfie I’ve scratched your back for half an hour, my hands sore…”
Lmao i was trying to do a nsfw section of this but I genuinely can’t think of anythinggg!! Hope you enjoyed anyway!
