Summary: The War is finally over and Velaris will once again know peace. But as all of Prythian works to put the pieces of the courts back together, Azriel must come to terms with the sacrifices he had to make in order to protect what he loves the most in this world: His mate. (Will be dual POV)
Here is a snippet of WWTFU 🖤 Chapter one will be up once it is finished 🖤 I am soooo excited for this one! I don't think I have ever written true angst before so let's see how this goes (hopefully well 🖤)
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The darkness is endless— no up or down, no past or present. I have no notion of who I am, what I am. But I remember her. She is a flicker of light in the crushing dark.
A light that was put out.
Images flood the darkness— flashes of pain, too fast to keep track, and a single piercing scream that cuts through the dark like a knife. The sound brings me back, the memories solidifying. I can't stay here, I can't let go. There is a reason for the darkness.
Save her. Please.
And what will you give in exchange, Shadowsinger?
Anything. Everything.
Very well then.
A pain like I’ve never felt before cleaves me in half and then shatters me completely. I try to scream, but I have no mouth, no voice, no form. There is a vicious tearing deep in my gut. I am nothing but pain in the endless darkness. I know nothing else.
Summary: The War is finally over and Velaris will once again know peace. But as all of Prythian works to put the pieces of the courts back together, Azriel must come to terms with the sacrifices he had to make in order to protect what he loves the most in this world: His mate. (Will be dual POV)
A/N: I know I have a ton of other things I am working on but... I have been wanting to write some angst so baddddd. Is this kinda sorta loosely based on the new Spider-Man movie? Maybe (yes). Also I hurt my own feelings with this one. I'm working on chapter one and I’ll be posting a snippet soon 🖤
For everyone who is still confused: Truth-teller is one of the many victims of SJM's narrative inconsistencies (meant with no malice).
In ACOMAF truth-teller is an object that is very singularly tied to Azriel. Azriel is the Night Court's spymaster, assassin and torturer so his weapon holds particular signficance for him. Azriel being a rather reserved character, truth-teller offers some insight into his interiority although it is actually not mentioned very many times (only four times in total!). It's a sharp and ruthlessly efficient weapon which he clearly treasures. The name is a sort of multi-layered metaphor for the object, his philosophy, and Azriel himself. It communicates that he takes no pleasure in torturing enemies (such as the Attor) but he does not shy away from being cruel when necessary. It's a symbol for the moral ambiguity that runs as a theme throughout this book.
I am not exactly sure what SJM was cooking up at the time but it is pretty clear that truth-teller was also supposed to establish a meaningful connection between Azriel and Mor, with her power being "truth" (though to this day we don't know what that means). The similarity in motif is just too obvious to ignore. So I think it's fair to say that as of ACOMAF truth-teller is an object that is deeply personal to Azriel and acted as a marker of symmetry with Mor who we can infer was his intended endgame at the time (and, yes, she definitely was).
With ACOWAR the Mor romance plot was cancelled and in this book truth-teller becomes the blade he lends Elain, now the second woman associated with it. Both Rhys and Cassian make it known (each in their own way) that it's a big deal that Azriel is letting someone else not even use but only just touch the dagger. I don't think that it's a misinterpretation to say that this was a significant moment for Azriel as a character and for his romantic potential with Elain. In my mind, this scene was the single biggest indicator that SJM was seriously exploring this option and truth-teller became an important signifier of their relationship (yes, even though Elain returned it).
In ACOSF truth-teller isn't mentioned very much but there is a scene that stands out. Truth-teller is the blade Nesta uses to draw a drop of blood from her finger to ward off the mask with Helion's help. It's a tiny moment but worth noting here. Previously, we had been told specifically that Azriel doesn't let just anyone use that blade. Now he is offering it to do something as mundane as prick Nesta's finger for the wards? Narratively, there was absolutely no reason for them to use truth-teller for this. It could have been any dagger (literally every character in acotar is known to carry multiple at all times). So the particular use of Azriel's intimately important blade stands out. Remember: Rhys and Cassian gawked at Azriel letting anyone else so much as touch the blade in the previous book. Though it's minor, it is still a breech from the previously established canon.
In HOFAS we then learn that truth-teller is actually the twin blade to Gwydion and that they were together forged and dipped in the Cauldron to help Fionn and Theia defeat the Daglan. When Bryce shows up in Prythian, she takes (steals) truth-teller to defeat the Asteri. When she returns it, she hands it to Nesta, not Azriel.
Truth-teller also gets a power upgrade: the ability to "unmake" things and, when paired with Gwydion, open portals to other worlds. We learn that truth-teller sings and glows when near its twin. As of HOFAS truth-teller has been elevated into a much bigger role. It is now an object that has passed through multiple hands: Azriel, Elain, Bryce, and even Nesta. It relates directly to Bryce and the starborn line as well as the very origin of the world of Prythian.
And I think this has two narrative implications:
(1) Truth-teller is still an object associated with Azriel and SJM bestowing such a role on it is intentional. We already knew that Azriel would play a bigger role in future ACOTAR books but this further confirms his importance for the plot going forward.
(2) However, what this also means is that truth-teller is no longer just an object that is uniquely and intimately tied to Azriel as a person. It is no longer the object that uniquely communicates his interiority. Azriel is not the one who unlocks its true powers. He is simply the custodian of an important magical object that has existed long before him and has a purpose of its own. The blade has since been used by a handful of people, including, but not limited to Elain. And I would argue the fact that the object was repurposed this way dilutes the significance of Azriel's gesture of lending it to Elain. Not from an in-world perspective - truth-teller still holds personal significance to him and the fact that he entrusted Elain with it still matters. But as a narrative motif, it is now a much weaker symbol of Elain and Azriel's unique bond because truth-teller's role in this world now far outweighs the role it played in their relationship. If truth-teller is meant to be an object to signify Elain and Azriel's relationship, it is an odd choice to have it pass through so many hands, tie it directly to another character (even more innately than Azriel himself) and send the blade between worlds to defeat another civilisation's villains.
Truth-teller started as a symbolic object unique to Azriel. It is this version of truth-teller that he handed to Elain during the war and that is what gave this gesture narrative weight. But since then, the meaning and significance of the object was expanded far beyond what it meant to Azriel on an emotional level; it has been depersonalised. This is not a natural development of the plot - it is a retcon. And I would caution against making any predictions about Azriel's romantic plotline using truth-teller as evidence.
I'm actually not a big fan of the darkness and light motif often used for Gwynriel. Darkness and light is much more an E/riel motif. - WAIT, you gotta let me land with this one.
Azriel's perception of Elain is one framed through symbols of purity and goodness. This is already fairly clear from his opposition to her being exposed to the darkenss of the cauldron but it becomes more explicit in the bonus chapter. Azriel described Elain to "glow like the sun at dawn," he also describes her skin as "immaculate", her face as "trusting" and "hopeful." In contrast, he describes his own hands as "sullied", that it would be "sacrilege" for him to touch her, that he would be "tainting" her. His shadows skitter back at Elain's gasp. He exhibits a clear pattern here: her innocence and light is good and worthy, and his darkness is disgusting and unworthy. It is his belief that his darkness is something that should be erased. And it is important that he realises that he is wrong about that.
Having been abused and tortured for the first 11 years of his life, Azriel has internalised the belief that he is unworthy. If I had to take a guess at the logic of his trauma, I would say that he views the shadows that kept him company as evidence that there is something alike in him and the darkness in which he was kept. He thinks that the darkness responded to him because he, in his essence, is also dark, and because he believes himself unworthy of anything good, that must mean that this darkness is bad too. So he takes on the terrible tasks that must be done for the safety of the Night Court on behalf of his family, because, in his mind, reprehensible things like committing torture or murder cannot sully him beyond what he already knows himself to be: unworthy.
But Azriel's darkness isn't actually a flaw. His shadows are not inherently bad at all. We see them responding to Feyre's distress with gentle kindness, we see them be playful, and most of all, they take care of Azriel himself. The darkness Azriel takes on on behalf of the Night Court helps protect his family and is an expression of his loyalty and devotion. It is not something to apologise for or feel ashamed about.
Darkness and light is fundamentally not a good framework for Azriel's character because it confirms his trauma pattern. This is the reason I, personally, cannot see Elain and Azriel as a valid longterm romantic option. There is no true happiness for Azriel in erasing his darkness through someone else's light, only confirmation of the fact that he is indeed unworthy.
What Azriel needs is to simply be seen for who he is, not a shadowsinger, not a spymaster or torturer, not as embodiment of darkness. He needs to be seen as Azriel, a man who is complicated but cares deeply, who is fiercly loyal, someone who is competitive and playful. Not by other people, but by himself. And it is Gwyn who gets closest to this version of Azriel. Because she doesn't care about his darkness at all, she just cares that he sings.
Would love it if someone wrote a fic/imagine about an Archeron sister who absolutely adores animals. Like when she is Made, animals are just drawn to her and she is drawn to them. Cat distribution system? Well it’s not uncommon for her to come home with kittens, a stray puppy? Amazing. A little robin jumps onto her extended finger? Common occurrence.
Kinda like Snow White.
And it’s all animals too. She knows how intelligent rats are and finds mice absolutely adorable. She is most likely vegan bc her heart can’t cope with the idea of eating the very beings she loves with all of her heart.
Imagine Gwen and Az being late to training one day because they were 😏 busy 😏 and neither of them are NEVER late. Cassian stands with his arms crossed with a giant smirk on his face, Nesta has a matching one along with Emerie. Of course Cassian and Nesta want to know all the details and no actual training gets done.
Summary: Your mate rushes home to you when he feels your pain through the bond.
A/N: inspired by this request. I read it, and then my mind went in a completely different direction. Hope you still enjoy!
wc: 1.2k
divider by @/diviniyae
masterlist
Velaris had the best spices.
This was a given considering the wealth of trade that occurs at the ports, something you prided yourself on as the Treasurer of Velaris.
There was also something else beyond duty that motivated you to be so good at your job.
“Now just add the star anise and sauté it with the onions.” You gently guided Nyx’s chubby hands to the spoon resting against the pot.
Azriel had been gone on a mission for weeks, and your tiny apartment had never felt so empty. Having only discovered you two were mates a couple of months ago, you had both fell into a rhythm of domesticity quickly and his absence hit you harder than before.
You kept the bond open, sending feelings of love and comfort through it as you went about your day, but you would very much prefer to have him in your arms.
You were also bored out of your mind, seeing as you started your break this week. Azriel’s mission dragging on longer than expected shortened the list of activities you wanted to do (most of which involved lounging in bed), but you tried your best to fill up the time.
Your failed attempt at knitting laughs at you from the corner of your living room.
So upon seeing how much Feyre and Rhys needed time alone, you had offered to take Nyx in for a sleepover.
The two of them had agreed after checking that you were okay, and Nyx was thrilled to spend the night with you, as he knew there would be excellent food coming his way.
Just a toddler and already eager to learn everything from his family, Nyx had persistently asked you to teach him to cook. You and Feyre had just exchanged fond smiles over the young babe’s head as you gently replied that you would teach him once he could reach the stove.
Cooking had always been your passion and you were thrilled that Nyx wanted to learn, but there were safety concerns with a child so young.
You had thought that you’d bought some extra time by waiting till Nyx could reach the stove.
You’d forgotten that he was the son of some of the most cunning and stubborn people you had met.
And he had wings.
The family had been so happy when Nyx flew for the first time, his little wings flapping furiously to keep the chubby toddler aloft.
A few months of training with his father and uncles later, Nyx had gained remarkable control and was able to hover and fly indoors with minimal damage to the paintings hung on the walls of the River House.
That ability to hover led you to your current predicament.
Teaching Nyx how to cook wasn't necessarily difficult. In fact, the young Illyrian caught on quickly and remembered every step you relayed to him.
The problem came down to your own fear of supervising a child so close to an open flame, which is why you kept the stove on simmer and boiled the water in a separate kettle, minimizing the risk of the pot overflowing.
"Okay Nyxie," You dried your hands on your apron as looked down on the child next to you, "We're gonna add the hot water now. So I need you to back up, alright?"
"Yes, Auntie!" Nyx cheerfully agreed, his little wings flapping as he maneuvered himself to hover near the entryway of your apartment kitchen.
Taking one last look at the toddler behind you and ensuring he was out of the way, you reached for the handle of the kettle, forgoing oven mitts as the handle was made of a separate material from the metal kettle.
What you hadn’t noticed was the handle being directly beside the flame under the pot, and it had been slowly heated up to the point where oven mitts were definitely required.
You yank your hand back with a hiss, fighting back the sting of tears as you rush to the sink to submerge your hand in cold water.
"Auntie?" Nyx had come to your side and was looking up at you, blue eyes wide with worry.
Just as you opened your mouth to reassure him, a shout of your name startled the both of you, making you both turn towards the entry way of your small kitchen.
In less than a second, your mate filled the doorway, eyes dark with anger that promised a world of hurt.
"Azriel." Your voice came out with a hint of a whimper, the pain in your hand not having fully subsided and coupled with the sheer relief you felt at seeing your mate alive and whole after weeks of no contact.
Azriel rushed towards you and cradled your face in his large hands. "I felt your pain down the bond and thought someone got to you."
You felt your eyes flutter close as you instinctively turned towards his hands.
"Rather more like a something than a someone." You gestured to the kettle with your good hand and let out a small laugh, "I was so worried about Nyx being hurt in the kitchen that I forgot to wear my oven mitts." You explained as you winked at Nyx from around Azriel, "Guess you're better at kitchen safety than I am, huh, Nyxie?"
Nyx's eyes, which were welling up with tears, brightened as he considered your words. "Hehe, guess I am!"
Noticing that your mate was still tense, you ushered Nyx into the living room. "Why don't you go read a story, sweetie? Uncle Az and I are gonna try and save our dinner."
"Okay!" Nyx half bounded, half flew over to your couch and started perusing the stack of children's books you left on the ground for him.
Satisfied, you headed back into the kitchen, where Azriel had turned off the stove and was carrying a lump of ice cubes wrapped in a dishcloth.
"I thought you were in the mortal lands." You frowned in worry as you took him in. Azriel's hair was windswept, as if he had flown furiously to get into winnowing range. To get to you.
"The mission was basically almost finished." Azriel's hand cups your cheek once again, his thumb swiping away a tear that had escaped. "Lucien is wrapping things up, and you are more important."
Azriel pulled you into a firm hug, carefully keeping the ice balanced on your hand. "I missed you so much, I'm never letting Rhys send me that far away again."
You let out a happy hum, burying your face into the crook of his neck. "I'm tempted to never let you leave this apartment again." You inhaled his comforting scent of mist and cedar, feeling yourself further relax into his hold.
"We should probably have Madja check on that hand, though." Azriel mused, pulling back from the hug to check on your hand. "Do you need more ice?"
"I'm fine!" You huffed out a laugh at his overprotectiveness, removing the compress to show your fully healed hand. "I got it under cool water fast enough, see? Not a scratch."
Azriel let out a small smile before turning towards the stove. " What are you making?" He sniffed curiously at the pot, the gesture so earnest that it made you let out a snort. Illyrian babies and their appetites, you thought fondly as you wrapped your arms around his middle.
"I was cooking your favourite, wanna help me?" You looked up at Azriel to already find him staring down at you with a fond smile.
"Absolutely."
Thank you for reading!
I'm working on writing more long-form fics now, but still stuck on endings. So if it feels rushed, that's why lol.
Likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
