#adjuvantchemo

[sophiascompass]

Farmacy

Today marks 2/3 point of my adjuvant chemo therapy treatments for colon cancer. My regimen includes 12 rounds of Folfox, a treatment that has a whole bunch of side effects such as cold sensitivity. Drinking anything cold causes the throat to tighten up and hurt. Touching anything cold makes the hands go numb with pain . I’ve got 4 more treatments to go before I am completely done! My survival chemo tips for getting through it with very minimal side effects have been; Daily Vedic Meditation, A plant based/vegan diet and no alcohol. Lots of water & coconut water. Regular exercise of hot yoga, boot camp, jump-roping and hiking. Acupuncture, detox salt soaks with sea algae. Herbs, vitamins & juicing. Body scrubs (akasuri), dry brushing, reiki, detox foot pads and massage. Laughter, painting, and most importantly rest. When my white blood cell count dropped, I brought them up by eating lots of garlic, drinking a “green food” mix and having shots of diluted cranberry juice. I also snack on goji berries throughout the day. I still have my hair, my skin and nails have never looked better! I realize that everyone’s situation is different but this is what makes me feel good, so I do it. I’ve also have not had to take any anti nausea/or stool medications. I crave greasy food on the treatment days but as soon as the cold sensitivity wears off, I’m eating tons of fruit and fiber. I plan to go back to eating S.O.S. vegan (no sugar, oil, or salt) once my treatments are over. It was what helped my body release symptoms for me to find out about my tumor in the first place. My whole life I had been trying diets to stay lean, with Atkins and Paleo type trends. I was also vegetarian but mainly a junkfood vegetarian. I finally learned to eat a whole food, unprocessed diet that is not only great for fighting disease (dis-ease) but ethical and critical for the improving the environment. There is so much conditioning that happens from years and years of nonsense food fads for health and fitness, it makes me wonder about the health of future generations. As a believer of miracles, the type of pharmacies I see for the future could vary well become the right kind. The right kind meaning Farmacies, where we go back to basics and eat the live foods to live. Live plants to heal. 🌱

[sophiascompass]

I knew I'd be very sore the next day when I was loading the bar for Fran. I went for it though. Fran is probably the most well known benchmark workout in Crossfit. Famous for it's simple but brutal combo of Thrusters and Pull ups. It's these two moves for 21-15-9 reps for time. The prescribed weight for the thrusters is 95lbs for men and 65lbs for women. It's not mandatory ever to do it RX, but finding a weight that is challenging is the fight you want, just enough so that you probably could do it unbroken but heavy enough so that breaking up the sets is probably what will happen. Not just Fran but all of those benchmark workouts in Crossfit seem to create growth on multi levels. When I'm looking up at that bar and fatigue in my grip and forearms start to set in, each jump up is like a leap of faith. I literally have to picture myself succeeding prior to jumping up to get my chin over that bar. Those are precious seconds that you ether accumulate or chisel off of your Fran time. It's in-between all of those reps that the fight to grab the bar one more time becomes what I tend to remember most. I'm telling myself, either "oh my god, this feels so much harder today" or I'm saying "yes, whatever the fuck it takes!" That is my favorite line that Paul Giamatti says in the movie "Win Win". A wrestling movie where the kid is explaining to his coach what he does to get out of a pin and says: "Well, I just tell myself that...the guy on top is trying to take my head and shove it underwater and kill me and if I don't wanna die on bottom, I have to do whatever the fuck it takes to get out. And the Coach says "Okay. So the move is, "whatever the fuck it takes." Let's go. Let's work on it!" That passion and fire excites me! I definitely crave the spark which doing Crossfit ignites. My life compass magnetically follows my excitement which is what got me in the box yesterday. And Fran became my bitch the day before my second Chemo treatment. To me it's not only physical training but it's the kind of mental training I truly enjoy. I love the way it prepares my nerves to take on daunting tasks. It teaches focus and my meditation practicing also becomes very apparent as a key within it. Yeah, I'm sore today but the benefits outweigh it all. I'm stretching, rolling and doing all sorts of stuff while I have this chemo pump on for another day. All of it helps with energy level and eases side effects. I just do "whatever the fuck it takes" and everyday of my life becomes a win win!

[sophiascompass]

Constellation work.

It’s been a week since the first chemo treatment. I didn’t get any nausea. Just a slight hangover headache for one night. The typical cold sensitivity that comes with Folfox also wore off after a few days.

I’ve been keeping myself very occupied with a cocktail of healing methods. I’ve done reiki, salt detox baths, seaweed scrubs, acupuncture, cardio and tabata workouts, juicing, detox foot pads, and just yesterday I tried constellation work. Along with meditation and aromatherapy everyday, on my list of todo’s for the next treatment is definitely yoga, infrared sauna, and oxygen shots. This past week has been such a blast, I gotta figure out how I’m gonna one-up it.

Being open to doing the variety of healing methods has absolutely soothed my spirit. I’ve come to understand that saying yes to life is truly as easy as letting go and welcoming everything as a child would. If I handed my 9yr old daughter a crystal and told her to hold onto it for dear life so as not to let any power escape from it, she’d probably stop everything she was doing and fully concentrate on that rock. She’d probably feel it’s energy too. Without any resistance like a child is how playful we must stay in all of our endeavors because the power to heal isn’t all in the rock, it’s in our believing.

Doing Constellation work for the first time was definitely a day for practicing openness. It’s even challenging trying to explain what it is and how it’s done because of certain skepticism when talking about stuff like this. Of course I tried it when my Integrative wellness Dr. prescribed sessions. I really wasn’t sure what kind of appointment I was making. I just trusted, showed up and decided to play. I was first asked about family tragedies, health issues, and traumatic incidents. During all of this the facilitator is making me aware of hurt that happened and was passed down to me from my ancestors. Some of the things I was told about during the WW2 era I knew to be true. Through this I learned that there are things that pass down through DNA and get encoded in our energy fields. These unresolved issues are then cleared by honoring them and passing them back from which they came. After awhile into it I wanted to keep going and keep learning, especially after hearing that even my Mother would feel an inner piece and shift from it. If this it what it takes to clear energy fields, and cellular memories to bring health and well being back. I’m game!

[sophiascompass]

Made this countdown calendar for my treatments of Adjuvant Chemo (preventative chemo) for colon cancer. Got to shred #12 today. Side effects so far; cold sensitivity. That one was pretty immediate. Washed my hands in cold water and it felt like someone put ice under my skin. It's with every body part too. So no ice cream and swimming for me this summer. The other side effect I could feel is the thing they call "first bite" a painful feeling in the jaw when you take take your first bite of food. A little tingling in the hands but it's not consistent. Food taste blander as well and I am extremely sensitive to smells. Almost like when your pregnant and you can smell things way more acutely. I've been eating Gin Gins and Trader Joe's Ginger Chews for the very mild nausea. They really work. I drink as much water as I can and will do 45 minutes of cardio later. There are so many benefits with exercise during treatment. There are so many benefits to exercise period. It helps with tiredness, nausea and recovery. This next week will be all about detox and repair. Lots of juicing, sleep and laughing. Sounds like a good plan for just about anyday! One down, eleven to go!

[sophiascompass]

Surrender and Honor

Adjuvant Chemo of Folfox starts today. I really wished it was an April Fools Joke. I wonder if all of the beautiful lessons I am being taught from this experience would actually sink in if I didn’t have to go through with 6 months of treatment. I’ve come to a point though energetically where whatever emotions occur, I will honor it and by honoring it, I do not suppress it. The tension created by resistance is just never worth it ever. Not worth it In any situation. I’ve really learned what it means to surrender. Let whatever is taking over, take over and then let it become the power that guides you. Kinda like Aikido in martial arts. Last night before bed I closed my eyes to envision my day of going with the flow. Really doing that as I drove and went about my day. Rather than just say “go with the flow” I wanted to really apply it through imagining it. Then I decided I’d surrender my thoughts and let whatever came to me divinely guide me. Trusting is just the same as going with the flow. Very soon after I asked to be guided in whatever I needed it in, I heard a voice yelling for Saint Clare. I didn't see a woman. A voice just kept calling that name. I came out of my meditative state then grabbed my phone. I googled Saint Clare to see if such a soul existed. I found Saint Clare of Assisi, an Italian Saint born in 1194 who founded the Order of Poor Ladies. She is a Saint with quite a story. I’m guessing that she continues her work to this day and can be called upon in times of need.

Not clinging to one idea or placement in life brings opportunity, brings freedom and room for so much more to be added to this whole experience of life. Today I surrender and honor all the feelings and thoughts so that I can gently flow with the go.

[sophiascompass]

15.4

OMG...Reebok Crossfit Open workout 15.4 has Handstand push-ups and Cleans at 125lbs rx for women. I can do this....oh wait, I just had my port implanted for upcoming chemo. Why did it have to be cleans!!! 125lbs being lifted and rested right where the port line is. It could get smashed with those heavy cleans. Not so sure if it will be safe for me to do it. I really don't want the "Open" to close for me just yet. With treatments not starting till April 1st, I may still have a chance at completing the last workout. Feeling hopeful.