Jun 28
i like half life (feat. @corcjell 's adrian)
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i like half life (feat. @corcjell 's adrian)
Gharial by the Chambal River, Uttar Pradesh, India
By Adrian Shepherd
HALF LIFE HEADCANONS
(feat my man kade)
For all intents and purposes, this is for fun and any time period mishaps should be ignored. Part two eventually.
Gordon Freeman
- 5’10”, green eyes and slutty little waist, he/him, autistic, dumb little ponytail.
- So white. So very very white.
- Makes absolutely no facial expressions ever.
- Talks exclusively through sign language, but even then sparingly.
- Got a major staring problem.
- Probably trans idfk.
- He’s definitely gay or aroace.
- He has no idea he’s autistic, gay, or in love with Barney.
- He has PTSD and because of that he’s a prick to the Vortigaunts.
- Hopelessly addicted to morphine
- Anger issues but no one can tell
- Everyone in Black Mesa wants to fuck him silly.
- Derealization issues
- Really does NOT fw Alyx
- Regularly keeps up with Aperture Science
- Chell’s brother
- “I’m not gay, Barney.”
- He is. He so is.
- Definitely thinks Barney is a sexy beast in the combine uniform
- Plays DND and likes Star Trek
Barney Calhoun
- 5’6”, he/him, spectral heterochromia
- Gay and knows it
- Probably trans too fuck if I know
- Fluffy hair, permanent 5 o’clock shadow. He’s so goddamn hairy.
- If he doesn’t pluck his eyebrows, he’ll grow a unibrow
- Dadbod
- Alcoholic
- Literally never shuts up
- Every single guard in Half Life 1 is Barney. They’re all Barney. Always have been.
- The Blue Shift Barney is “our” Barney, though. I like to think he retained all the other Barney’s memories.
- Frat boy in college. He told them he liked football and now he has to pretend
- Poses infront of the mirror everytime he has a uniform on
- Understands Gordon Freeman perfectly literally no matter what
- He got a fucked up leg from the elevator crash.
- Cries over Gordon at least once a day
- Really hates all the Half Life 1 scientists. They’re douches.
- Gun enthusiast
- Likes conspiracy theories
- Lauren doesn’t exist, she never existed. He’s just a fat liar.
- Listens to Mitski
- Beefs with Adrian because Adrian thinks its funny but really does not care
- Southern as Hell
Adrian Shephard
1.) She’s a FEMALE
2.) She’s not a BOY
3.) and most importantly, She’s a GIRL!
- 6’5”, blue eyes, she/him (she has a preference for she but Does Not Care.)
- Butch lesbian
- Was in the military with Soldier from TF2. She played along with his antics and sort of “trained” under him.
- white, but very tan
- She gets hurt a lot
- Laughs obnoxiously loud
- Wears boxers
- Blonde, either a crewcut or mullet situation
- Probably has an eyebrow slit, but in a scar way not in a gay way
- Speaking of which she is COVERED in scars and bullet wounds
- Also freckles why not
- Very high pain/spice tolerance
- Fucking LOVES nascar (poor and stupid)
- Was able to make it into the military because when she was filling out the papers she wrote "yes" next to sex and the government just thought he was a normal amount of US Marine stupid
- Colette and Gina saw her from across the bar, and they really dig her vibe
- Her mask makes her sound really grovely and awesome (see: https://youtu.be/Fr8Jxm65EC8?si=5WvOpXfQerjM7G79 )
- She beefs with Barney
- Gets a kick out of annoying Gordon Freeman to death
- Probably makes thirst traps on TikTok
- Has really good abs
- Scout’s older sister
- So she’s from Boston
New art book cover
Some reassurance from the one and only
Adrian Half Life Stimboard
IT'S TIME for the FINALE of the GoldSrc At 1 HP TRILOGY! Adrian Shepherd is approaching the final stretch... let's see if we can make it out of here alive.
🟣 LIVE NOW!!!