#ant love

[dontrefer2me]

“I want to be cherished,” is probably the truest reflection I’ve made on why every relationship I have is so so painful

5.16.22

[dontrefer2me]

Meltin' in my heart, gettin' high off your own supply

I understand, we are only friends

But your eyes keep tellin' me to take you in

Oh, when you call, I get the faith

Oh, in your room

Why don't we take a chance?

Saw on your lips, then we come alive

[dontrefer2me]

What a wonderful year of such special reconnections. So much hurt in my heart but underneath compassion and love love love

Ant said twice in the same conversation how proud he is of me. & like it makes me want to cry such grateful tears

[dontrefer2me]

shoot this week is now my fave shoot ever

all 4 of us “teens” were so kind to each other -- we vibed so hard, were constantly championing each other and celebrated. we toasted to being on *** with our fiji waters 

also some closure that i didn’t know i needed -- mark 2020 as the year i’ve forgiven an “ex” and they’ve forgiven me, with no rekindling of the relationship. I am honestly proud of him for his work on set this week 

everyone on set was so nice and ngl i am so pleased that the director followed me back, which i wasn’t expecting at all!! 

2020, incongruously to everything going on, has been full of so many blessings. 

[antbully2]

[dontrefer2me]

uhhhh not to be dramatic but i hate how far away summer 2018 feels already... I was sweaty all the time in my thrift store camo jacket but i was loved and respected by my classmates and i did great work and i challenged myself & i talked almost every day on the phone to someone important to me and the experience taught me about vulnerability and forgiveness and understanding & also anthony and fuck anthony but that relationship exists in a vaccuum because it was a four week whirlwind friendship/romance and it was over just as quickly as it started, and I value it simply because it will be a summer 2018 relic, along with this song, my time at TBG, my love of This is Our Youth and Halt and Catch Fire, and relationship 5.0 (????) with previously mentioned someone, & etc.....!!!!! at the end of the summer my friend/classmate Shannon told me how talented I am and how much she believed something great was going to happen for me soon. She was RIGHT AS FUCK 

[banalope]

Actually it’s ants!!

So while my good friend good buddy A+ one of a kind pal Julia was here, she showed me the incredible world of antscanada and ant keeping. Spoilers: It’s really easy and fun. Extra spoilers: It just so happens it’s the season for local camponotus ants’ nuptial flights where I live. We had a time checking and collecting them in various food containers I own until the forbidden test tubes arrived for the first set up. Because I recently checked the queens for deaths and water recently, I am not about to disturb the box where they reside again for a while. Which means I missed my chance for pictures but, there’s always time for pictures. Right now, interred inside the tattoo kit antsbox, are 3 black carpenter queens, and 1 nice red and black carpenter ant that I haven’t fully ID’ed yet. They are:

Sour Cream Dill Pickle Egg Red Dead (not dead, just red) As the first containers they were held in dictated So far they are all looking well and fiesty, particularly Dill Pickle (who terrorized her water cotton into bits) and I'm excited to blog about them, to see who lays first, (Dill Pickle may have but I am not going to move her again to check for another week or so) and who I will eventually keep around in my first formicarium. I'm super stoked and in love with the idea. I would dedicate another blog to the experience altogether, but the fun thing about ants is that-especially for the first leg of the journey-they're stuffed in a box with nothing to do and nothing to see. So, updates will be sparce, particularly right now. I'm just excited and love @hoxtinite not only for coming to visit me and having a great time, but opening my heart to aNT LOVE. If you want to blacklist this cool shit just strike out my 'ant love' tag, no hard feelers. Now, back to the waiting game.

[manly-misadventures]

My gorgeous Camponotus queen. She's already got so many eggs. 🐜