#aperformerslife

[davidarthurpersley]

How I’ve been spending Saturday night’s lately. Live your dream! DA #asingerslife #aperformerslife #masterworks #philharmonic #choirs https://www.instagram.com/p/BoVV10RnKZV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=emq007198ems

[davidarthurpersley]

Just a little peak at one of my performances at the Viper Room on Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, Ca.. What a fun night. Be Blessed. DA #aperformerslife #anartistlifeforme #singersongwriter #viperroom #westhollywood

[writingperformer-blog]

The pre-performance emotional roller coaster

The urge to write seems to be taking over my being lately, but finding time to actually sit down and write is proving to be very difficult, with all the engagements I have in my life right now. Getting back my performing side has been absolutely amazing, and having rehearsals practically every day is incredibly thrilling. It is however, also very tiring; physically, mentally and emotionally. I've been having back to back rehearsals since around March, but I have now reached a peak, as I am rehearsing for two productions of which show dates are just nine days apart. With the first show being tonight, the pressure is really on. Rehearsals are at full blast, spending hours on end at the theatre and going home after midnight every day.

I've been rushing about from rehearsals of one production to the other, every day for the past 2 weeks. Thinking about it, it has been very exciting, and exhilarating. The wonder woman inside me is screaming with glee as I write, but all this energy has done nothing for my concentration over the past few days.

We are now in what we call production week mode, for both productions. Production week is the week leading up to the actual performance, when rehearsals are moved from the rehearsal venue to the actual theatre. Lights, sound, costumes and props start coming together, as well as the performers themselves of course. Stress levels, tensions and excitement are at an all-time high. If we had a meter recording our emotional levels right now, I’m sure it would burst. Although that's a wonderful feeling for any performer, the intense emotions one feels at times like these are very draining. I would describe the feeling like being on a rollercoaster for a whole week. Those over-heightened emotions tend to take over completely, and for example, trying to concentrate on work is proving to be close to impossible right now.

Being that most performers in Malta tend to be only part-timers, our everyday life has to go on as usual. But when you're on an emotional high, it's almost impossible to ignore that yearning inside of you to get away from a desk and get back on a stage. So this tends to be a time when daydreaming takes over, and we suddenly all want to quit our day job, and start working freelance, trying to find ways and means to break through the industry and make a living from the art we are completely in love with and truly passionate about.

Worst still are post-production blues. The heartache and down-in-the-dumps feeling one gets once a production is over. The general tendency in Malta is spending weeks, if not months, meeting people you feel so incredibly comfortable with, practicing what you truly love, building friendships and relationships with people; people who inevitably become like a second family. For a while, they practically become your primary family, as you definitely end up spending more time with them, then at home. Going straight to rehearsals every day after work, sometimes till the early hours of the morning, these people get to see every side of you. Good and happy moments, frustration, exhaustion, and even the occasional illness. Worse yet, they are the ones that are going to have to deal with your emotions, and possibly nurse you, care for you, and try to make you feel better. Going back to my main point however, you then get one, maybe two weekends to enjoy the fruit of your labour. To get that exhilaration from being on stage, and receiving the audience's feedback and applause, giving you this amazing natural high. I think it is worse than a drug, only to have it all disappear after a few hours. How are performers expected to fall back to a normal routine, when a part of their lives is taken away from them in mere seconds, once the final curtain is drawn? How do you go from spending hours a day doing what you love, with people you instantly bond with, to not doing what you love, and not seeing those people? To most of us performers, this heartbreak is worse than that of a breakup. We somehow try to make it work, try to fall back into the system, and go on with our boring, mundane routine, following the course that non-performers have every day of their life, but I can assure you, it's one of the hardest things we have to cope with in life.

Unfortunately, we are always aware that this darkness will take over once a production is done. So whilst we're hyping ourselves up for those few hours in which we pour our souls out to an audience, we also start dreading these post-production blues, which contributes massively to the whirlwind of emotions running through our bodies, only to exhaust us that little bit more.

You might say, is this emotional torture really worth it? I don't think there is any performer that would tell you that it's not. Just like any other addiction, I don't think we can live without it. Due to work commitments I had over the past few years, I had to put my performer part of me aside. For around three years I felt that part of me had died. I didn't feel like myself anymore, and I felt that lack of passion and creativity slowly killing me. I believe that, as performers, even if we try to give it up, it's impossible to rid ourselves of that part of us for good. At some point we will always go back to it, even if it's for a little while. But we'll never be willing to let that part of us die completely.