#arson the cat

[infinite-arson]

One like = one smooch on his little head

One reblog = granting him access to the nuclear launch codes

[teamxdark]

Infinite is a master of psychological manipulation.

[starlightseer]

Confused why I am not petting him right now for forever.

[darkwalk]

Sideswipe’s Very Good, Very Normal Day

Story snippet for TGAU - we’re taking a break from the Autobots weirding out the Decepticons and stepping back into the Darklight for a day with Sideswipe.

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Lights walked into the room with her arms out wide like she was asking for a hug. “There’s my favorite mech!”

Immediately drawing back with wide optics, Sideswipe asked, “What did Jazz do?!”

“That glitch is dead to me.” Her smiled flipped into a scowl. “He ate the last of my candy without telling me.”

“And Cypher and Stillbite?”

“Helped him find my stash, for a fee of several rust sticks each.” 

“Ouch.” He agreed, moving to keep at least one of the club’s tables between them. “Sooooo..... does being your favorite get me out of defense practice for the day?”

“No.” She smiled, pulling out a knife.

Sideswipe grinned back, fake as hell, before bolting out of the room with nervous laughter. Cackling, Lights tore after him. 

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“But imagine! It would be so smooth, gliding around the tables and going back and forth between the bar and-”

“You’re not wearing skates while you’re serving.” Stillbite stated, one optic ridge raised as he cleaned the glasses. An amused smile crept across his face though.

“But it would be cool!” Sideswipe pouted, dramatically sprawling across the counter. Arson trotted over and started sniffing at his helm. He lifted it up enough to see her and start scratching behind her audios.

“Very. But do you know what’s not cool?”

He thought about it. “Falling on my face?”

“And destroyed dishes, damaged furniture, lawsuits from injured customers, and Bass coming over here to complain that we’re copying the Bassjackers thing.” At Sideswipe’s blank look, he sighed. “Most of the Bassjackers use skate mods to get around quickly, remember? It’s their thing. In several of their bars, their servers wear them too, but they also have a floor space designed for people to skate around. The tables here are too close together and to the dance floor. Even if you know how to skate and were a master at it, someone is going to bump into you.”

“Booooooooooooo.” Sideswipe moaned, reaching over to cradle Arson as he gave her a belly rub. “You think it’d be cool, right? I am very cool. Even if I can’t skate on the job.” The cat only meowed at him.

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“Do you think Cypher can read minds?” 

Without even looking up from his datapad, Sunstreaker answered, “No.”

“But he just knows things!” 

“Hm.” 

Sideswipe scowled, leaning over to see what was so interesting. It looked like that booklet on colors Sunstreaker had gotten from work and a datapad with a bunch of frame designs. Which was interesting. But not as interesting as Cypher potentially being psychic. Narrowing his optics, he continued. “Maybe he has cameras hidden all over the club.”

No response.

“It probably isn’t just the club, I bet he has them all over the Darklight. Maybe in our apartment. Or, he can actually read minds.”

Still no response except for some scrolling.

“And he’s collecting enough blackmail information to build an army of people who have to do what he says so he can take over all of Polyhelix-”

“Who’s taking over Polyhelix?” Orion asked, closing the apartment door behind him.

“Orion!” Hopping up, Sideswipe ran over to give him a hug.

“I’m taking over Polyhelix?” The mech replied, mouth twitching into a slag-eating grin. Sideswipe scoffed, whacking him in the arm as his brother finally looked up to greet their amica. 

“How was work?”

“Alright. Nothing interesting today.”

“Can you take that one out for a walk? Glimmer wants me to read through these and he’s incredibly distracting.” Sunstreaker ignored his brother’s exclamation of ‘Hey!’. 

“Sure.” Orion agreed before turning to Sideswipe “Feel like bugging Fracture for stories?”

The red mech paused his excitement as he realized Sunstreaker suddenly looked interested and was giving his datapads a long look as if trying to decide if he could put his work off. Grinning, Sideswipe wiggled in place. “Absolutely. I bet he’ll have even better stories than last time-”

“I’m coming too!” Sunstreaker rolled off their couch and stalked over. “Honestly. I just wanted to get my work done....”

“Anyways......” He shared a silent laughing look with Orion as they all stepped outside. “I think Cypher can read minds-”

[ourlittlesecretokay]

“Is the cat in a onesie?” “Uh, no?" I beg of you - I need this in my life

The bedroom door is barely opened when a fuzzy blur of black and red shoots out.

“Fuck!” With a thud, Olaf’s body hits the floor as he scampers after it.

“Hold up!” Quick, Violet catches his elbow, his body pivoting in a neat arc around her.

“Oh, great! I’ll never get him back now!” Exasperated, he throws his hands against the empty air.

“What are you doing to my child?”

“Nothing! I didn’t do anything!”

Terribly disgruntled, Arson sits at the end of the hallway, furiously biting at his shoulder, trying to tear at the red cloth he is stuffed into.

“Is… Arson in a onesie?”

“Uh… No?” Olaf scoffs.

“It looks like he’s wearing a onesie.”

“It’s his new uniform. Or, it’s going to be. Once I attach this-” Deftly, he holds up a switchblade.

Taking it all in, she nods slowly, processing what she is seeing. “Okay. One question- Why?”

“Intruders, Violet!” He gestures with the knife again.

“Okay. I’m going to ask one more time, and this time, I want you to start at the beginning. Why?”

Exhausted with her lack of understanding, he sighs. “Okay. Suppose someone breaks in?”

“Alright.”

“Arson goes for them. Starts attacking them.”

“Unlikely, but go on.”

“First thing they’re going to do is try to grab him. But what are they not expecting?”

“A knife?”

“A knife!” Proud, he holds it aloft.

“And what happens when they steal his knife?”

Freezing, Olaf stares, his triumphant smile deflating. “Well… he could…”

“And how about when he inevitably cuts one of us?”

“We can… train him… not to.” All the manic excitement has gone from his voice, and for a moment she almost feels bad.

“That cat?” She points to Arson, who is trying desperately to capture his own tail. “You’re going to train that cat?”

“I’ve done more with less.” His face falls into uncertainty, all the bravado gone.

“Alright, why don’t you go ahead and give me this,” trying not to smile, she plucks the knife from his hand. “It was a lovely plan, but you’re back to the drawing board.”

“Well do you have a better idea?” Pride injured, he lets her take the knife away without fight, snapping it shut.

“Better than arming our cat? No. It’s a great idea, poor execution.” As horrible a plan as it is, she hasn’t the heart to squash it entirely. Besides, she’s too curious to end the journey here.

“It is a great idea,” he grumbles, still defensive. With a laugh, she stands on her toes, kisses his cheek.

“Why don’t you let me help you? I’m sure we can think of something between the two of us.”

“You think I need your help? That you’re just so clever that a genius needs your help?” Wrapping his arms around her, he lifts her feet off the floor. “You think you can take one of my plans and make it better? Huh?” She shrieks as he spins her, her arms tight behind him, laughing as he kisses her neck. “Oh yes, I’m Violet, and I’m just so smart! Everyone needs my help and I can’t mind my damn business!”

“Stop!” She giggles as he sets her down, peppering the side of her face with kisses. “I’m trying to be nice!”

“Are you? Or are you just trying to take all the glory for yourself, Countess?” He exaggerates the second syllable, rolls it through his teeth.

“Oh, always. You know how I am with the fame and glory.” Wrapping her arms around his waist, she lets her chin touch his chest as she smiles.

“Oh yes,” he rocks back and forth, holds her to himself, “little Starlet. Now, do you want to help me get your boy out of his clothes?”

“My sharp and angry boy, or my cat?”

“Oh, she’s a comedienne! So funny! So very, incredibly funny!” And yet, despite his protests, he smiles as she kisses him, her pretty mouth twisting into a laugh.

[infinite-arson]

I paid these cats to stare at gay people.

[infinite-arson]

A decent attempt at hiding. 14/20. Camouflage well executed.

Nat 1 stealth roll. The vet finds him and weighs him as planned.

[infinite-arson]

He hasn't finished his PhD in molecular biology yet.