#ask ed teach

[ask-edward-teach]

stede bonnet dick review

Great length, girth, coloring, mouthfeel. Adapts well to a variety of situations. Deftly used.

Top marks across the board really. 10 out of 10.

[ask-ed-teach]

did you ever get to try that soup?

no 🥺

[ask-edward-teach]

Has Stede ever said anything flirty to/about you in his sleep?

If I give him a lil kiss on the cheek or brush his hair out of his face or something he'll tell me not to do that because has a boyfriend and then describe me to me. ☺️🥰

[ask-edward-teach]

‘bugs are annoying’ would you say that they……bug you 🤪🤪

[ask-edward-teach]

hey ed i thought maybe you'd have some advice for a situation where there was something you really really wanted to happen and you really thought you were going to get it and then it doesn't happen for reasons completely outside your control? me and a lot of people i know are going through that right now

Yeah, mate, that shit's hard as fuck. I think... I think you just have to let yourself feel your sadness, sit with it, and eventually you'll be able to be happy about all the good stuff you did get and everything it meant to you.

[ask-edward-teach]

wait you sent the crew a card? show us, i didn't know you were an artist

I did a bunch of my own tattoos, mate. I know my way around a drawing.

Anyway, I did send it, so I can't show you and since apparently only my fucking magical boyfriend (❤️) can manage to make a message in a bottle actually work as a postal service no one's actually seen it.

But uh, I guess I could describe it.

So, right, on the front there was this fucking badass drawing of a kraken, except it was sad, so it was crying, but they were blood tears. Then inside on one half I drew the Revenge and all of the crew were on it, but they had to be pretty small to fit so they were kinda stick-figure-y since it was only on that half.

Then on the other half, I wrote: “Sorry I created a toxic workplace environment and forced you to kill me during my mental health crisis. It’s an explanation but not an excuse. Thanks for letting me stay on the ship and turn poison into positivity while I figured out my next steps. You guys are a really great crew. Love, Ed”

Oh and on the back it said: “Lucius, did pushing me off the ship give you closure? Let me know.

_ yes _ no _ maybe, one (1) more push into the ocean required to be sure”

So. Yeah.

I'll probably remake it before the crew comes to visit next.

[ask-edward-teach]

What ship name do you like better, Blackbonnet or Gentlebeard?

Those are both terrible names for a boat, no offense.

Not fearsome or badass at all.

[ask-edward-teach]

who's your zaddy ;)

Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.