#autistic ushijima

[ushouldwatchhaikyuu]

ushiten fic where,,,, ushijima feels kinda shitty abt not understanding sarcasm (cause damn is my boy autistic as fuck) so he asks tendou to teach him how it works. and at first it all goes normal enough (tendou makes sarcastic jokes with him and explains whenever ushijima doesn't catch it) so ushijima gets slightly better at understanding sarcasm. but then tendou starts flirting with him and Ushijima's like "Ah. Hmm yes. This is The Sarcasm. I'm so good at this what the fuck" AND ITS SO CHAOTIC cause everyone sees tendou getting more and more straight forward each time and ushijima just laughs and feels proud that he's catching the sarcasm & tendou's just freaking out cause he doesn't even know what else to do to get that boy to see he's gay /srs and not /s

[soulless-strangers]

Muma

Little trans Ushijima and CG Oikawa

💜💙🐮👑

Cw: vauge references to transphobia

Oikawa had been more than a little surprised to see Suga stick his head in his bedroom door.

“Ushijima’s little, he’s throwing a fit about something. I wish I could help but I’m going to have a meltdown if I don’t go somewhere quiet right now.”

Oikawa blinked at him for a second before nodding.

“Go take care of yourself, I’ll check in after I settle Ushiwaka.” He hummed, the grey haired teen giving a sigh of relief as he turned and exited.

The scene Oikawa walked in on was not a pretty one.

“I want my mum! I want my muma!” The little sobbed, rocking back and forwards in his cross legged position. He was throwing his toys across the room, Moo and Highland landing somewhere need the door.

“Hey Toshi bub. Why are we all upset today?”

“I want my mum!” He repeated, hands in balled fists as he cried. “I want my muhum!”

Oikawas mouth formed a thin line. None of his littles ever really cried for their parents when they where upset. He didn’t really know how to fix this.

“Do you want a hug? Or do you not want to be touched right now?” Well first He should at least establish some boundaries. He was very relieved when Ushijima’s hands shot out in front in him, making grabby hands at his caregiver.

Cuddly littles where his favourite.

“Ok sweetheart.” He hummed softly sitting down on the side of the bed and pulling the little into his lap. “Do you wanna talk about why we are feeling upset?”

“I- I want my muma. I wish she wanted me. But she doesn’t even like me.” The sobbing returned ten fold, Oikawa gently squeezing him as he cried.

“Well I think she’s very silly because you are the bestest boy in the world! You’re strong and brave and smart.”

“She didn’t want me cause I’m not a real boy!” The little sobbed, fingers gripping into Oikawa’s shirt.

It made his heart hurt to see Ushijima this upset. He silently cursed the younger boy’s mother.

“You are a real boy Wakatoshi.” He mumbled into his littles hair, his voice a little deeper and more serious. “I know you are cause I’m holding you right now and I can feel you in my arms. That’s what makes you a real boy. Because you are real.”

Ushijima hiccuped, fingers scrabbling with Oikawas jacket for a tighter grip. The older smoother his hands across his littles back, trying to ground him.

“Shhh baby boy. That’s it. That’s my brave brave boy.” He hushed, Ushijima’s cries dissolving into little hiccups and whimpers.

His voice also quickly disappearing, he curled into his caregiver closer, whispering.

“Muma loves me?”

Oikawa had to pause for a second, brain rebooting. Was Ushijima referring to him?

“Yeah baby. Muma loves you very much.”

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

headcannon that: during olympic training atsumu tells ushijima he has no sense of humor. ushiwaka calls tendou for help to prove atsumu wrong. they decide that to win this argument they must launch a side hustle for ushiwaka: being a comedian. they are still workshopping this one but tendou has hope.

[kanoyachi]

ive always felt like there was a something... More there in the scene where utsui is begging his wife and mother-in-law not to train wakatoshi out of being left-handed? because he says "the fact that he's different from other people will probably end up being his strength."

outside of volleyball, and like, using scissors, being left-handed is a fairly neutral trait. and when he said that i doubt he was thinking about future plans of wakatoshi being a volleyball player and it being harder to receive spikes from a left-handed hitter, because he tells wakatoshi that he would be happy with him just "liking volleyball in some way."

by that age, wakatoshi had to have already been showing signs of autism, and i'm sure the type of people who train left-handedness out of children wouldn't be happy about any type of perceived imperfection in their child. in asking them to let wakatoshi stay left-handed, utsui was saying "our son may act differently than you think he should, but please don't try to 'fix' him based on your arbitrary standards. there's nothing wrong with who he is" and doesn't that sound like it could apply to something else about wakatoshi?

[red-elric]

autistic ushijima (aka ushijima) being very...... Rules oriented. like yes Rules You Have To Follow, like 'skimming a book is a waste of time, read the whole thing' becoming our iconic ad reading bestie but also just like. fundamental unbreakable laws of the universe Rules, like 'shiratorizawa is the best team in the prefecture, they go to nationals every year' becoming his quiet not-quite cockiness like 'you should have come to shiratorizawa' and 'karasuno will never amount to anything' like..... it's just a fact about the world that he's learned, and he's operating based on it being true. but it's also things like 'being left handed is a strength' and 'the ace of a volleyball team is reliable, powerful, and inspiring' and 'always go for the spike' (though that occasionally gets overruled by 'never let the ball drop') and 'goshiki will be shiratorizawa's next ace' like he's a very straightforward person! he just follows his little rules and hits a bit of a wall when one of them is proved wrong ('height and power arent the only ways to be strong with volleyball, karasuno from the concrete can beat shiratorizawa') but he gets on okay

[voyageramongthestars]

i have so many thoughts just about how ushijima and kageyama probably experience and deal with their emotions

Ushijima

struggles to identify his emotions

because it’s difficult for him to identify his emotions, it’s easier for him to come across as emotionless, even potentially to himself, as when you can’t figure out what it is you’re feeling, in my experience, it’s easier to not truly feel the emotion or express it

Kageyama

is capable of recognizing his emotions, but he does not know how to express how he is feeling and how to cope with it; i think he finds his emotions overwhelming

because of these issues he has with understanding how to deal with his emotions, i think he defaults to anger since he understands how that works, and it demonstrates his frustration with his struggles with emotions

i’ve read so much fanfiction about each of them, but it rarely feels like they’re characterized correctly. people default to calling Ushijima emotionless and Kageyama mean. with how autistic-coded they are, people seem to immediately default to viewing them as robotic assholes (especially Ushijima) and completely neglect to try to actually understand the characters.

[sobsitsamu]

Ushijima with autism: Imagine him saying 'I need to be careful how to talk to neurotypical people so they don't misconstrue my words' so he's like really careful in how he talks to Oikawa BUT THIS IS OIKAWA HE HATES EVERYONE OKAY YES INCLUDING YOU and Ushijima has to be told it's not his fault, really, and he's tired of trying to figure people out so he takes your word for it but sometimes still feels guilty ʰᵉ ᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉˢ ˡᵒᵛᵉ

[asmallnerd-archive]

Autistic Ushijima headcanons!!

Ushijima, other than Kageyama, didn't actually get diagnosed until he was out of highschool.

Not because he didn't show symptoms as a child, he absolutely did, but because his mother refused to have him diagnosed.

Until he was 5 years old he didn't speak. At all.

He did learn how to write and read by the time he was 4 but the most his family could get out of him in terms of vocal communication were some grunts and huffs and such.

He started speaking in time to enter elementary school but it was short sentences and very few of those.

He is extremely bad at masking. Try as he might, he has no idea how tge whole thing with facial expressions works. Or how to give his voice the right tone. As a result, his voice is usually flat and he has a pretty deadpan expression.

Ushijima isn't stupid but he does struggle with things that seem illogical to him. For example, he is great at math but English confused the hell out of him because it's a shit show of a language and half the words sound fake.

He has no idea how to hold a proper conversation. Talking to him is more like talking at him. He's listening (most of the time) and it's not like he doesn't care, he just doesn't know how to connect and answer to what you're telling him.

It's extremely rare for him to initiate a conversation, he usually only does this with teammates (mostly Tendou) or occasionally Oikawa. (This does get better during and after highschool but he still dislikes starting the conversation)

I think it's needless to say that volleyball is a special interest, that's pretty much all he cares about.

Now here's the kicker. Ushijima had NO IDEA that he's not neurotypical, his parents never told him anything like that! Pretty much the opposite. Whenever he'd bring up his teacher's concerns with his mother she'd tell him they're just being ridiculous.

The entire team in highschool knows. They just know. It's in the way he doesn't make eye contact, he sways back and forth when he stands, he cringes at certain textures to the point it causes him anxiety or even nausea. The way he drifts off during class, chewing on the back of his pencil, the way he stands with his back slightly hunched and his hands against his chest before he catches himself doing it and straightens up.

He suppresses his ticks because his mother taught him they're inappropriate. Even into adulthood whenever he gets the urge to flap his hands he slaps his own wrists instead and moves on.

He doesn't like being touched. It causes an unpleasant tingling on his skin and he'd rather not have people come too close to him.

something about advertisements catch his eye. There's nothing to read into, no emotional expressions he has to try and understand and no complicated storylines. He enjoys adverts.

Tendou I his comfort person. Now that doesn't mean that his boundaries when it comes to physical contact don't apply to him. It DOES mean, that he has an easier time talking with him and understanding him. Because Tendou over exaggerates his emotions and expressions in an almost theatrical way, making it easy for Ushijima to understand his moods.

Ushijima does not know when it is or isn't appropriate to speak. While he generally prefers to stay silent, sometimes he will blurt out with an unintentionally inappropriate statement in an equally inappropriate decision.

For this reason funerals, birthdays, wedding and other social events like that are extremely difficult for him to deal with.

even as an adult he deals with nonverbal episodes. He goes mute for different periods of time for different reasons. Sometimes it creeps up on him slowly and he knows it's coming and sometimes it just happens one second to the next. But it doesn't bother him much. The people he's close to can talk to him and he'll write or sign in reply.

He wears heavy clothes because they calm him. Leather boots with thick soles, heavy jackets and belts. He can't sleep without a weighed blanket.

Ushijima slowly learns to accept his disability after he gets diagnosed. His new teammates don't treat him like any less of a person because of it. Tendou and the rest of his old team are there with support and help wherever they can.

He eventually starts talking about it more openly and with that comes a certain bond to Kageyama.

Kageyama understands. Kageyama knows that the sounds and feelings connected to volleyball are good sensory input. Kageyama knows to stand back when Ushijima starts to get overwhelmed.

Kageyama brings Ushijima a small fidget toy, a Tangle, to practice one day because Ushijima has been struggling to find ways of stimming that make him comfortable.

For Ushijima it's a slow process. He still doesn't understand social cues or small talk or facial expressions. But he's managing.

Here's the Kageyama hc

[disclaimer: I am autistic, I relate to Ushijima in a lot of ways and this headcanon isn't supposed to be romanticising at all, I just want to share my thoughts]