#ayetina

[noetato]

“Higanbana”

I spotted this flower in the middle of my back yard. Strange because this is the first time I seen this flower, and just one grew out of nowhere. Stories behind these beautiful flowers are interesting.

(Am I forgetting a memory?)

[noetato]

COVERSATION WITH MY FOUR YEAR OLD...

Me: Zidane are you mommy's baby boy.

Zidane: yes I'm mommy's baby

Daddy: I thought you're a big boy.

Zidane: Oh yeah, I'm sorry mommy. I'm a big boy.

Me:

I literally wanted to cry...

[noetato]

Until we meet again

Aunty I miss you deeply. I wish you never moved. I wish I had seen you before you left. I don't believe in God. I regret not being able to see you off one last time. I'm happy the last memory I had with you was great. Full of laughter and never ache. We never argued. I'm happy I had you as my second mom. You've been a great person from the start. You've raised great kids. It's upsetting for you to part us like this. You were to young and still had so much to do. I will always have you in my heart. Thank you for giving us these great moments and memories. I will cherish them. I hope you're watching us where ever you are.

[noetato]

It makes me happy seeing what me and my son can create. Obviously I made the animals and he put eyeballs on it xD! I live for moments like this. He's changed me drastically and I'm honored to be his mommy. I hope one day he can go through my tumblr (if still around) and see how much I love him. He's made me a strong person and I could never see my life without him.

[noetato]

My “Sleep Paralysis”

     I’ve had some sleep paralysis that happens randomly. Most of the time I just hear loud buzzing sounds and wiggle my toes to wake up. I usually feel scared to fall asleep when I notice noises, start to feel heavy, or feel like i’m falling. Well let me tell about this one recent event that happened to me when I was on a little vacation with my in-laws, and my son.

     On the day we arrived at the hotel, my son and I went to swimming. It was fun and I was exhausted. We went to our hotel room to shower and take a nap before we went out to eat. When I laid down I started to fall asleep, until I started to hear a loud buzz. That’s when I knew I was having another sleep paralysis, but this time I heard a faint voice saying “She coming”, that’s when I tried to wiggle my toes to wake myself up. I looked around feeling confused. Thinking nothing of it I laid back down and same thing happened. I heard a loud buzzing again, but this time the voice said “Behind you. She going to kill you”, much more clear. I wiggled my toes again, panicking... I got up this time. Looked behind me, my son was on his tablet. I didn't try to take a nap anymore. I kept thinking about it the whole day. I even told my mother in-law about it. I left out the killing part out. ( I didn’t want her to worry.)

     After that day I didn’t have anymore sleep paralysis. It’s weird because that was the first time I heard voices. I don’t think it was anything to worry about. Maybe it’s something I heard in a movie and decided to replay in my head. I haven’t watched any scary movies in forever or actually watch movies. All I do is play games, watch anime, and play with my son. In a way, I’m curious to why I would experience something like this, but I’m scared to know the reason.