#babeogorgeous

[vampxrebarbie]

CHARACTER AESTHETIC ➜  ESSIE

「 awoken . warlock . voidwalker 」

I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP. I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP, BUT YOU ARE GOING TO NEED MINE.

( for vxceandvirtue / babeogorgeous ! )

[vampxrebarbie]

Also, is Essie/Corvo a thing? Yes?

YES. YES IT V MUCH IS.

Who’s more dominant: essie, for sure. they do swap off, but corvo takes the back seat for Essie.

Who’s the cuddler: neither of them. neither of them are big fans of idle touch--touch means something very important for the both of them, so it’s reserved.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: corvo, usually

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: spending time with Emily

Who uses all the hot water: essie.

Most trivial thing they fight over: where one of them put something and the other can’t find it.

Who does most of the cleaning: essie, probably

What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: Emily

Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: corvo

Who leaves their stuff around: corvo AND essie

Who remembers to buy the milk: essie

Who remembers anniversaries: emily, usually

Who cooks normally: essie

How often do they fight: rarely, if ever. and if they do, they do it away from emily.

What do they do when they’re away from each other: corvo’s a fucking wreck about it, always. the last time he came back from an extended leave, the empress got murdered and would have been murdered away from him if he hadn’t gotten home early. typically, essie tries to keep in contact as much as possible no matter who’s off on business.

Nicknames for each other: just a simple ‘Ess’’ and ‘Lord Protector’

Who is more likely to pay for dinner: this is another trivial thing they argue over.

Who steals the covers at night: neither of them

What would they get each other for gifts: i’mmmm??? not sure on this one, actually. essie would probably pass along bone charms and runes if she finds them, but neither of them really feel the need to buy gifts all that often.

Who kissed who first: corvo

Who made the first move: corvo

Who remembers things: Essie

Who started the relationship: corvo

Who cusses more: essie, mostly by virtue of the fact that corvo’s incredibly taciturn.

What would they do if the other one was hurt: on corvo’s part it’d be ‘Roaring Rampage of Revenge’, or some dialed down version of it. hes lost one love already, it’s not happening again.

Who is the dirty talker: essieeeeeeee

A head canon: essie (along with quinn) is one of only a few people corvo trusts to leave with unsupervised.

[vampxrebarbie]

sophie just started playing the last of us

[1:26:23 PM] bender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: THIS GAME IS FUCKED UP ALREADY I QUIT

[1:26:32 PM] barbie (ง •̀_•́)ง: LMAOOOOO THERE IT IS

[1:26:59 PM] bender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: THAT WAS THE FIRst TEN MINUTES WTF

[vampxrebarbie]

#holy-- #qUINN WHY

so now youve got crushes on two of my whalers, huh

[evecoffn]

babeogorgeous replied to your post:one reason to read Fables: The Wolf Among Us

i”M PLAYING THIS RN

MOTHERFUCKING YEAH RIGH T YOU 

HELL YEAH

[editoress]

Gossip

I just realized that in all my orcboss AU writings, I've only ever written from the perspective of other parties.  It makes the realizations fun, but the orcs don't get much to say.  I'm here to fix that.

--------

Faramir's rangers accepted their captain's decision, and they made little enough trouble with their orc guests.  All the same, they did not welcome the creatures.  The orcs, for their part, kept together at a safe distance; they seemed to feel the same way about the rangers.

So over the weeks, the two forces circled each other about the shared space, never getting too near or speaking with each other outside necessity.  But they did watch each other, and closely.

This night, the rangers were gathered at a table eating.  Faramir and the woman captain of the orcs were speaking just outside but well in view.  Meanwhile, the orcs huddled similarly across the hall, talking amongst themselves and looking to the conversation outside with toothy sneers.  The rangers kept an eye on the orcs.  For who knew what dark schemes these monsters spoke of?

*

"Lookit him," Bargol spat.  Beside him, Wargha barked out a mirthless laugh around a mouthful of cheese.  "What's that tark think he's playing at, huh?"

There were grunts and snarls of agreement.  None of the two dozen orcs took their eyes off the boss and the fancy captain outside.  The boss knew what she was doing, but that didn't mean they had to trust their host.

"Pretty-boy prince or summat," Yagul muttered.

"Come on," Shrimp whined.  He was the smallest, gangly in a way that meant he was almost fully grown, and his name was Gort.  But it was Shrimp they called him.  He scrunched up his nose at Faramir.  "Look at that on his face.  Is he tryna grow a beard or in't he?"

"Who bloody cares?"  Lagduf swatted Muzgash's hand away from his plate.  "Even if he did he'd just look like a dwarf."

They narrowed their eyes at the man, at the way he was staring at the boss and leaning in to speak earnestly to her.  It wasn't right.  He was up to something.

"Ooh, lookit me," simpered Urugol in a parody of Faramir's soft voice, "I'm the pansy prince of a buncha meadow tarks, come be my princess."

"Shut the hell up, Urugol."

But it was too late.  The terrible idea was out there.  It was somehow worse than the suspicion that the humans were just waiting for the orcs to drop their guard to kill them all.  The band was made of fighters all, and a sneak attack they could have dealt with.  It might've even been fun.  But the thought of some tark trying to sweep Esselyn away was out of the question.

Unfortunately, it was getting easier and easier to believe the longer they watched him talk to her.

Shagrat smacked a couple of them across the backs of their heads.  "Chin up, lads, the boss ain't gonna fall for that."

"Yeah," Muzgash rallied, "she's more like to run him through."

For the first time that evening, the laughter rippling through the group came easily.

"That ain't how you get a woman anyway," Snaga announced.

Shrimp looked over, baffled.  "It ain't?"

"Nah."  Snaga gestured vaguely.  "It's way different, trust me."

Three of the orcs hooted, and someone threw a hunk of bread at him.  "Trust you on the women, eh?  That's a laugh."

Snaga puffed up.  "Shut it, you lot don't know nothing."

Orcish courtship was a mystery to all outsiders.  It was also a mystery to most of this particular band of orcs.

"It don't matter whether that's the way or not," Shagrat insisted.  "It's the boss."

And that was that, and not just because Shagrat was big and got to be second-in-command so often.  This wasn't the first time "It's the boss" had been used to end an argument.  To a pack of warriors always on the move, on neither one side or the other, having to watch their backs at every turn, the boss was the constant.  She was the one solid fact they had, so just bringing her up could shut down a full-on fight.

"Oi."  Muzgash beat the arm of the unfortunate Lagduf to get his attention.  "See?  They're already comin' inside."

And they were.  Esselyn strode into the hall with Faramir behind her.  The orcs shuffled ineffectually among themselves to make room for her and only succeeded in almost knocking Maug out of his seat.

Esselyn slowed down when she reached them.  "We need to look over the maps.  I'll be back before sunset."  She shoved Shagrat's head lightly.  "You lads behave."

And then she kept walking, deeper into the rangers' sanctuary.  Faramir, after a brief conversation with his men, followed her.

Shagrat stared after her, deeply offended.  An indignant silence covered the band.

"Damn tark," Urugol muttered, and the orcs started right back up again.

[vampxrebarbie]

i think thorin oakinshield and lori grimes are gonna fuck