#bat vents

[the-undead-poets-society]

Daily affirmations:

Your friends don't hate you

Just because they didn't want a hug doesn't mean they hate you

They can love you without hugging you

They don't love you less if they don't hug you

Them not hugging you is not the end of the world

They won't be mad you asked for a hug as long as you respect their no

[the-undead-poets-society]

I had the worst birthday party ever

Nobody even talked to me the whole night, mums screaming and drunk, I haven't had a drop of shit so I'm sitting through this sober

She got me my most hated cake and food I couldn't eat for dinner

[the-undead-poets-society]

Omg will people stop with the whole You're too fem to be transmasc thing it's fucking bothering me, like bro it's not even just online and it's almost always transmasc people too??

I just wanna talk to my little circle of people that actually respect me

[the-undead-poets-society]

I think I've genuinely lost interests in my fandoms, it's not that I don't love them I just don't have interest in anything anymore

So if y'all have been saying less og content that's probably why

[the-undead-poets-society]

Having a good day and coming home to a suspicious mum is so fucking snnoying

"why are you acting suspicious?" Because you've been staring at me with a suspicious look for five minutes, you made me feel weird cuz I couldn't untie my shoe my friend did up, you just told me I gulped too loudly, you're suspicious my autistic ass isn't giving eye contact (which I never do)

If she claims I'm high I can't say no or that's defensive which is suspicious, I can't be relaxed or that's suspicious

You say I'm not where I was? Do you want proof? My location? If I offer it or give it that's also defensive and shows I clearly have something to hide

I'm acting uncomfortable which means I'm up to something? You just watched me with daggers and kept saying "you know what you did?" And I'm like "actually no I don't??? Cuz I didn't do anything???" But that's playing dumb but I don't know wtf I did wrong, I was performing a beat box routine for my friend's mother??

Like I'm sorry you're dead convinced I'm "out god knows where drinking and getting high with my degenerate friends" but I was actually in my best friends bed cuddling with them and their bf trying to get work done believe it or not

[the-undead-poets-society]

Dude is this a safe space to say I hate Girl as slang?????? Like it's just ughfjdjd I know I shouldn't complain cuz it's in the same vain as people saying dude and man and shit but like

Idk it's so dysphoria inducing and people saying "I'm saying it gender neutrally btw" afterwards doesn't help

[the-undead-poets-society]

Sometimes I just wanna talk about how isolating being AroAllo feels, like I can't fit in with allos for obvious reasons and every aroace' makes me feel like I'm not actually aro, am just faking it and like I'm a whole different creature, idk it just is so hard to talk to people

[the-undead-poets-society]

My anxiety got so bad I asked my drama teacher if she's mad at me and hates me