#baz 001

[banisheed]

@bazzledazzle replied to your post “[user intends to message their coworker, but pays...”:

[user realizes, now, that they have sent their message to the wrong person. unfortunately, user cannot pass up a bit.] [pm] Now, Caroline, that's not very kind of you, is it? What was it you were saying about counting to ten in the break room? I can't imagine you got past seven. Let's try it again, shall we?

​[pm] I'm a visual person; perhaps I'd have better luck counting to ten if I had some help? Say, a knife? Oh! I know! Why don't I stab you ten times? It'll really help.

[banisheed]

[user intends to message their coworker, but pays little attention to where the message is going. there is a possibility they realize a few seconds before pressing send that they have the wrong recipient, but they can't be bothered to change it as it is too much work.]

[pm] Caroline, darling, if I were going to steal a lunch from the fridge, it certainly wouldn't be yours. Your tupperware is lovely, but the things you put inside it qualify as crimes against humanity. Really, it's a miracle the government's not gotten involved. I imagine someone's just thrown it all away. It belongs in the garbage, anyway.

[User has no idea what this is about; she doesn’t being a lunch to work, she can’t cook, and she would never use a tupperware like some common housewife. More importantly, her name is not Caroline.]

[pm] You belong in the garbage, slag.

[holland-mitchell]

@bazhowlett

“So, boss -- what’s it lookin’ like?” She asked, coming to lean against the hood of her newly acquired car, the Caddy her father used to drive when she was a kid. “ -- And don’t tell me I wore through another set of breaks, because it wasn’t me this time. I swear. I’ve only been driving this thing two weeks. If those breaks are shot, it was my dad,” Holland said, chuckling, nodding away her culpability. “I had to get my lead foot from somewhere.”