Did you know today is National Respawn Day?
This is not a holiday I made up; it is unquestionably true.
Okay, I made it up, and it does not matter which day you try again—that is great that you want to do that!).) And this time, you want to figure out how to make adjustments that last.
Fortunately, you are in the right place whether this is your first or 50th respawn experience.
We are going to have a little fun along the way as I share the same step-by-step approach that we have used to assist 15,000+ nerds in restarting their fitness journey in our coaching program.
We will talk about the following:
Why It’s Okay to Start Again
So you already bailed on a goal, habit, or routine this year.
Greetings from the club.
We refer to it as "being human!"
We number eight billion.
It makes sense that, statistically speaking, the majority of people have already given up on their New Year's resolutions! The process of changing behavior is intricate. [1]
Everybody starts out with aspirations and hopes for what they can achieve, but then they run into this ugly thing known as "reality." We discover that perhaps we chose the incorrect objective, that we attempted to take on too much, or that life got in the way.
This news is incredible!
I like to compare life to an enormous video game, so we will have to get used to facing obstacles, failing, getting back up, and trying again! That is what gives a game its true enjoyment.
"Success is moving from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm," as the saying goes. Congratulations for already figuring out a tactic that does not work for you at this time.
Now let us go about resolving that!
First things first...
STEP 1: FORGIVE YOURSELF
We’re often our own worst critic and our own worst enemy.
That voice in our heads will quickly point out all the things we have done incorrectly or how we have messed up when we falter on a task or goal.
We may berate ourselves for lacking self-discipline or call ourselves derogatory names.
There’s another way to think about this:
You discovered a strategy or tactic that doesn’t work for you! For instance, it is great if you tried keto and failed! That diet is ineffective for you. Since I personally adore carbohydrates, I also think keto is awful!
Treat the voice in your head like a roommate. It just so happens that you share the same brain. Just because our brain thinks something doesn’t mean it’s true! I like to think that my strange roommate Chaz is the source of my thoughts. Although he does not always know what he is talking about, he has good intentions. He owns a ferret as well.
It’s also possible the strategy or tactic is still useful, just in a different context. For instance, just because you tried calorie counting and it did not work does not mean we have to give up on that strategy permanently. To learn from it, though, we must ascertain why it was not a good fit for us at this time.
Since you are reading this, you must be attempting to make changes in your life.
You have discovered a few techniques that do not suit you.
You are prepared to give it another go.
This is fantastic and deserves to be honored.
As NF Coach Matt explains in the video below, “self-compassion” is really important when attempting to fulfill New Year’s resolutions:
[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVBCF1UkXmY[/embed]
STEP 2: ASK WHAT WENT WRONG?
So, you conducted an experiment with your goals for this year, and you did not get the results you were expecting.
That is not a positive or negative thing. It simply is, like any other experiment. It did not work out the way you had predicted ("I am going to stick with THIS diet and THIS workout plan").
Fantastic! We can make use of that information, my friend the scientist.
Let’s write down specifically what your experiment entailed.
What goal did you have in mind?
“I was going to run a mile each morning.”
“I was going to eat strictly Paleo every day.”
“I was going to transform into a mythical phoenix.”
Take a look at your list; these are a few variables that you are not currently finding effective.
IMPORTANT POINT: Based on the millions of people who have visited Nerd Fitness over the previous ten years, I am going to assume that there were two reasons why your experiment did not succeed:
#1) You built an idealized goal for a romanticized view of life:
We all have a lot on our plates, and life is chaotic. We set ourselves up for failure when we assume that our children will not get sick, that our schedule will be flawless, or that work will not get delayed.
Furthermore, if we hold ourselves to the standard of "perfect adherence to the plan," even one missed day can totally halt our progress.
Thankfully, John Steinbeck stated, "You can be good now that you do not have to be perfect." We will instead concentrate on being fairly good the majority of the time because perfection is a trap.
We require a strategy that adapts to the whims of daily existence rather than being designed around an exact timetable! They are not real.
#2) You tried to change all the things:
Instead of your usual 3,000 calories per day, your goal was 1,800.
When you currently do not exercise at all, you attempted to run seven days a week.
You do not write regularly, even though you stated you were going to write 5,000 words a day.
Rather than making drastic changes or making no changes at all, what if we made a few small changes?
We will never be able to finish everything, at least not in one sitting. Thus, much like in a video game, we should quit trying to fight ten level-100 dragons at once while we are just a weak, level-1 wizard!
Selecting a single target determines our level; as we advance and gain power, we can take on more formidable foes.
So, let us attempt to do less in our upcoming experiment, shall we? Focusing intently on learning a single new skill is preferable to trying to fix too many things at once and ending up back where we started!
STEP 3: CHANGE A VARIABLE IN YOUR EXPERIMENT
I am assuming that since you are reading this guide, you are looking to try to get in shape, gain muscle, or lose weight.
To avoid getting the same results, we need to change the variables in the experiment.
You know, science!
Remember, any good experiment has accurate measurements for the factors they are changing! You don’t just put “some uranium” in a nuclear reactor. You know the exact amount.
For your next attempt, consider adjusting one of the following:
#1) Change the exercise variable:
Did you enjoy the exercise you attempted? If you discover that you hate running, great! Never do that again. “Exercise sucks,” so I would pick something that sounds more fun.
Did you try to exercise 5 days a week for 60 minutes a day? What if you instead decided to go for a 5-minute walk every day to practice the habit first and then increased the difficulty?
#2) Try a substitution rather than an addition:
Adding a brand new exercise routine to an already busy schedule can be really challenging. The same might be true with severely restricting your calories, which can be really uncomfortable and make you hangry and angry.
Let’s try this instead: substitution! Here are three examples:
Making healthy swaps with our diet: How you eat is 80–90% of the weight-loss equation, and you’re already eating every day. So focus on substituting a vegetable for fries once a week or swapping sparkling water for soda. You can also keep a food journal and change your breakfast twice a week.
Temptation bundling: combine an exercise/activity you want to do with an activity we already love. Listening to a great audiobook, but only when we’re out for a walk, on the treadmill, or joining a friend on a bike ride (to a winery or pub!).
Do one activity mindfully every day: meditation is amazing for developing the skill of being present and cultivating awareness, but it might be tough for us to set aside 20 minutes to sit alone with our thoughts. So why not practice being mindful during something you’re already doing? Practice mindfulness while brushing your teeth or washing the dishes in the sink. No extra time is required; all of the benefits!
#3) Adjust your “win scenario”:
I get it. You were able to train in your home gym for the first few weeks of this year, going for at least an hour.
But THEN…Work got busy. And you only had 30 minutes, which wasn’t enough time to get through your workout. So why not set the win scenario at “30 minutes,” “15 minutes,” or “1 exercise”? Lower the bar!
This is not an on-off switch. It’s a dial that we can turn up or down based on how busy our lives are that day.
Let’s imagine we’re on a 10-year journey, and we’re trying out all sorts of tactics, strategies, and rates of change to see what works best for us.
Doing your workout today is not nearly as important as building a routine of working out that fits into your life for the next decade.
We can stop asking, “Do I have time for my workout?” and instead ask, “What workout do I have time for?”
There’s nothing that says, “A workout must be 60 minutes in a gym.”
A 5-minute walk with your kids. A 10-minute circuit workout between Zoom calls.
It all counts!
Example: If you roll out your yoga mat for 1 set of exercises, it counts as a win. It doesn’t matter if you did a full hour-long workout or a 5-minute set of push-ups.
Feel free to turn the dial all the way down when life gets really busy; just don’t turn it off.
STEP 4: RESPAWN and try again
When you play a challenging video game, you’re going to die. A lot. (I died literally thousands of times when playing Hollow Knight, one of my favorite games in recent memory.).
What happens after you die in a game?
You respawn, and try again!
You’ve learned a new tactic or pattern. You have a new technique. You’ve uncovered a secret. You also have all the knowledge of every past attempt. You’ve also just gotten better. So you try again.
And again.
And again.
And then you succeed, and that works for a while. Until it stops working. And then you change your tactics again and keep going.
There’s no shame in trying something that doesn’t work when it comes to our health. Life is one giant experiment; we’re all disasters, and we’re all doing our best!
Here’s Joe, who made dozens of attempts to get fit until he changed the right variable and got results:
We have hundreds of stories of normal people who kept struggling to find the thing that would work for them, but they kept reading and they kept trying, and then finally, something clicked.
And that next attempt is the one that changed their life’s path.
This next attempt might be the one that works for you too!
Keep trying differently, keep failing differently.
You can do this!
STEP 5: SUPERCHARGE YOUR RESULTS
I know hacking your experiments to get better data isn’t exactly “scientifically smart” or “morally responsible,” but I’m the one writing this guide, and we’re all friends here, right?
Once you start your new experiment, here’s how you can stack the deck in your favor:
#1) Write everything down. Write down your workouts. Write down what you eat. Treat it like a science experiment, and you’re collecting data! Plan ahead. Be PRO-active (“I will do Strength Training Workout A at 4pm, and tonight I’ll have roasted chicken and bacon-wrapped asparagus) instead of RE-active (“What should I do for exercise right now?” and “Ah, what’s for dinner? Oooh, Burger King!”)
For more strategies, check out our guide, Tracking Your Fitness Progress.
#2) Recruit allies for your team. Don’t go this alone, as you’re more likely to succeed based on the people you spend time with and hang around with. So recruit allies. Start spending more time with people that empower you (even virtually), rather than people that enable you and drag you down. Join a running group online. Find a lifting “accountabilibuddy” or someone you can check in with.
#3) Hire a professional. There are two types of coaches worth the investment:
An in-person trainer is recommended if you are looking to supercharge your form on specific exercises like Olympic lifts, squats, deadlifts, etc. An in-person trainer can be good for people who need the accountability of somebody they’ve paid to meet them in the gym.
Here’s how to find a good trainer!
An online coach that represents mobile, worldwide accountability. I’ve had a coach for years, and it’s changed my life. Knowing that I have a workout and nutrition strategy to follow each day helps simplify the process for me. Less thinking. More doing.
As Coach Matt explains below, sometimes “outsourcing” help can be a real game-changer when trying to get in shape (or back in shape):
[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5ClpHwMMpM[/embed]
GET BACK IN THE FIGHT
An old man named Rafiki once taught me: “Yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it.”
Okay, maybe he taught that to Simba in The Lion King, but I too learned the same lesson:
TO RECAP:
#1) Forgive yourself. You wouldn’t talk to somebody else the way you talk to yourself. So have some freaking compassion! You’re trying.
#2) Identify what experiment you just tried. Write down what you believe went wrong over the past few weeks. Congrats! You found a strategy that doesn’t work.
#3) Pick a new path and try a different variable. A good scientist meticulously tracks their data and writes down their hypothesis. I would change one of the following:
Exercise: do less; focus on building the routine and doing it consistently. Here’s how to exercise in a way that doesn’t feel like exercise:.
Nutrition: change less. If you couldn’t stick with a diet for 3 weeks, it was too restrictive. Try a different path. For help, check out our Guide to Healthy Eating. It’s designed to build on one small, tiny improvement over time.
Win scenario: don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good.”
#4). Then try again.
For #5 (“Supercharge your results”), I have two perfect ways to help you respawn today:
Consider our online coaching program, and I also send out a free newsletter twice a week to help you stay motivated and entertained.
It’s the best newsletter in the galaxy, I promise you.
Did you know today is National Respawn Day?
This is not a holiday I made up; it is unquestionably true.
Okay, I made it up, and it does not matter which day you try again—that is great that you want to do that!).) And this time, you want to figure out how to make adjustments that last.
Fortunately, you are in the right place whether this is your first or 50th respawn experience.
We are going to have a little fun along the way as I share the same step-by-step approach that we have used to assist 15,000+ nerds in restarting their fitness journey in our coaching program.
We will talk about the following:
Why It’s Okay to Start Again
So you already bailed on a goal, habit, or routine this year.
Greetings from the club.
We refer to it as "being human!"
We number eight billion.
It makes sense that, statistically speaking, the majority of people have already given up on their New Year's resolutions! The process of changing behavior is intricate. [1]
Everybody starts out with aspirations and hopes for what they can achieve, but then they run into this ugly thing known as "reality." We discover that perhaps we chose the incorrect objective, that we attempted to take on too much, or that life got in the way.
This news is incredible!
I like to compare life to an enormous video game, so we will have to get used to facing obstacles, failing, getting back up, and trying again! That is what gives a game its true enjoyment.
"Success is moving from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm," as the saying goes. Congratulations for already figuring out a tactic that does not work for you at this time.
Now let us go about resolving that!
First things first...
STEP 1: FORGIVE YOURSELF
We’re often our own worst critic and our own worst enemy.
That voice in our heads will quickly point out all the things we have done incorrectly or how we have messed up when we falter on a task or goal.
We may berate ourselves for lacking self-discipline or call ourselves derogatory names.
There’s another way to think about this:
You discovered
a strategy or tactic that doesn’t work for you! For instance, it is great if you tried keto and failed! That diet is ineffective for you. Since I personally adore carbohydrates, I also think keto is awful!
Treat the voice in your head like a roommate. It just so happens that you share the same brain. Just because our brain thinks something doesn’t mean it’s true! I like to think that my strange roommate Chaz is the source of my thoughts. Although he does not always know what he is talking about, he has good intentions. He owns a ferret as well.
It’s also possible the strategy or tactic is still useful, just in a different context. For instance, just because you tried calorie counting and it did not work does not mean we have to give up on that strategy permanently. To learn from it, though, we must ascertain why it was not a good fit for us at this time.
Since you are reading this, you must be attempting to make changes in your life.
You have discovered a few techniques that do not suit you.
You are prepared to give it another go.
This is fantastic and deserves to be honored.
As NF Coach Matt explains in the video below, “self-compassion” is really important when attempting to fulfill New Year’s resolutions:
[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVBCF1UkXmY[/embed]
STEP 2: ASK WHAT WENT WRONG?
So, you conducted an experiment with your goals for this year, and you did not get the results you were expecting.
That is not a positive or negative thing. It simply is, like any other experiment. It did not work out the way you had predicted ("I am going to stick with THIS diet and THIS workout plan").
Fantastic! We can make use of that information, my friend the scientist.
Let’s write down specifically what your experiment entailed.
What goal did you have in mind?
“I was going to run a mile each morning.”
“I was going to eat strictly Paleo every day.”
“I was going to transform into a mythical phoenix.”
Take a look at your list; these are a few variables that you are not currently finding effective.
IMPORTANT POINT: Based on the millions of people who have visited Nerd Fitness over the previous ten years, I am going to assume that there were two reasons why your experiment did not succeed:
#1) You built an idealized goal for a romanticized view of life:
We all have a lot on our plates, and life is chaotic. We set ourselves up for failure when we assume that our children will not get sick, that our schedule will be flawless, or that work will not get delayed.
Furthermore, if we hold ourselves to the standard of "perfect adherence to the plan," even one missed day can totally halt our progress.
Thankfully, John Steinbeck stated, "You can be good now that you do not have to be perfect." We will instead concentrate on being fairly good the majority of the time because perfection is a trap.
We require a strategy that adapts to the whims of daily existence rather than being designed around an exact timetable! They are not real.
#2) You tried to change all the things:
Instead of your usual 3,000 calories per day, your goal was 1,800.
When you currently do not exercise at all, you attempted to run seven days a week.
You do not write regularly, even though you stated you were going to write 5,000 words a day.
Rather than making drastic changes or making no changes at all, what if we made a few small changes?
We will never be able to finish everything, at least not in one sitting. Thus, much like in a video game, we should quit trying to fight ten level-100 dragons at once while we are just a weak, level-1 wizard!
Selecting a single target determines our level; as we advance and gain power, we can take on more formidable foes.
So, let us attempt to do less in our upcoming experiment, shall we? Focusing intently on learning a single new skill is preferable to trying to fix too many things at once and ending up back where we started!
STEP 3: CHANGE A VARIABLE IN YOUR EXPERIMENT
I am assuming that since you are reading this guide, you are looking to try to get in shape, gain muscle, or lose weight.
To avoid getting the same results, we need to change the variables in the experiment.
You know, science!
Remember, any good experiment has accurate measurements for the factors they are changing! You don’t just put “some uranium” in a nuclear reactor. You know the exact amount.
For your next attempt, consider adjusting one of the following:
#1) Change the exercise variable:
Did you enjoy the exercise you attempted? If you discover that you hate running, great! Never do that again. “Exercise sucks,” so I would pick something that sounds more fun.
Did you try to exercise 5 days a week for 60 minutes a day? What if you instead decided to go for a 5-minute walk every day to practice the habit first and then increased the difficulty?
#2) Try a substitution rather than an addition:
Adding a brand new exercise routine to an already busy schedule can be really challenging. The same might be true with severely restricting your calories, which can be really uncomfortable and make you hangry and angry.
Let’s try this instead: substitution! Here are three examples:
Making healthy swaps with our diet: How you eat is 80–90% of the weight-loss equation, and you’re already eating every day. So focus on substituting a vegetable for fries once a week or swapping sparkling water for soda. You can also keep a food journal and change your breakfast twice a week.
Temptation bundling: combine an exercise/activity you want to do with an activity we already love. Listening to a great audiobook, but only when we’re out for a walk, on the treadmill, or joining a friend on a bike ride (to a winery or pub!).
Do one activity mindfully every day: meditation is amazing for developing the skill of being present and cultivating awareness, but it might be tough for us to set aside 20 minutes to sit alone with our thoughts. So why not practice being mindful during something you’re already doing? Practice mindfulness while brushing your teeth or washing the dishes in the sink. No extra time is required; all of the benefits!
#3) Adjust your “win scenario”:
I get it. You were able to train in your home gym for the first few weeks of this year, going for at least an hour.
But THEN…Work got busy. And you only had 30 minutes, which wasn’t enough time to get through your workout. So why not set the win scenario at “30 minutes,” “15 minutes,” or “1 exercise”? Lower the bar!
This is not an on-off switch. It’s a dial that we can turn up or down based on how busy our lives are that day.
Let’s imagine we’re on a 10-year journey, and we’re trying out all sorts of tactics, strategies, and rates of change to see what works best for us.
Doing your workout today is not nearly as important as building a routine of working out that fits into your life for the next decade.
We can stop asking, “Do I have time for my workout?” and instead ask, “What workout do I have time for?”
There’s nothing that says, “A workout must be 60 minutes in a gym.”
A 5-minute walk with your kids. A 10-minute circuit workout between Zoom calls.
It all counts!
Example: If you roll out your yoga mat for 1 set of exercises, it counts as a win. It doesn’t matter if you did a full hour-long workout or a 5-minute set of push-ups.
Feel free to turn the dial all the way down when life gets really busy; just don’t turn it off.
STEP 4: RESPAWN and try again
When you play a challenging video game, you’re going to die. A lot. (I died literally thousands of times when playing Hollow Knight, one of my favorite games in recent memory.).
What happens after you die in a game?
You respawn, and try again!
You’ve learned a new tactic or pattern. You have a new technique. You’ve uncovered a secret. You also have all the knowledge of every past attempt. You’ve also just gotten better. So you try again.
And again.
And again.
And then you succeed, and that works for a while. Until it stops working. And then you change your tactics again and keep going.
There’s no shame in trying something that doesn’t work when it comes to our health.
Life is one giant experiment; we’re all disasters, and we’re all doing our best!
Here’s Joe, who made dozens of attempts to get fit until he changed the right variable and got results:
We have hundreds of stories of normal people who kept struggling to find the thing that would work for them, but they kept reading and they kept trying, and then finally, something clicked.
And that next attempt is the one that changed their life’s path.
This next attempt might be the one that works for you too!
Keep trying differently, keep failing differently.
You can do this!
STEP 5: SUPERCHARGE YOUR RESULTS
I know hacking your experiments to get better data isn’t exactly “scientifically smart” or “morally responsible,” but I’m the one writing this guide, and we’re all friends here, right?
Once you start your new experiment, here’s how you can stack the deck in your favor:
#1) Write everything down. Write down your workouts. Write down what you eat. Treat it like a science experiment, and you’re collecting data! Plan ahead. Be PRO-active (“I will do Strength Training Workout A at 4pm, and tonight I’ll have roasted chicken and bacon-wrapped asparagus) instead of RE-active (“What should I do for exercise right now?” and “Ah, what’s for dinner? Oooh, Burger King!”)
For more strategies, check out our guide, Tracking Your Fitness Progress.
#2) Recruit allies for your team. Don’t go this alone, as you’re more likely to succeed based on the people you spend time with and hang around with. So recruit allies. Start spending more time with people that empower you (even virtually), rather than people that enable you and drag you down. Join a running group online. Find a lifting “accountabilibuddy” or someone you can check in with.
#3) Hire a professional. There are two types of coaches worth the investment:
An in-person trainer is recommended if you are looking to supercharge your form on specific exercises like Olympic lifts, squats, deadlifts, etc. An in-person trainer can be good for people who need the accountability of somebody they’ve paid to meet them in the gym. Here’s how to find a good trainer!
An online coach that represents mobile, worldwide accountability. I’ve had a coach for years, and it’s changed my life. Knowing that I have a workout and nutrition strategy to follow each day helps simplify the process for me. Less thinking. More doing.
As Coach Matt explains below, sometimes “outsourcing” help can be a real game-changer when trying to get in shape (or back in shape):
[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5ClpHwMMpM[/embed]
GET BACK IN THE FIGHT
An old man named Rafiki once taught me: “Yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it.”
Okay, maybe he taught that to Simba in The Lion King, but I too learned the same lesson:
TO RECAP:
#1) Forgive yourself. You wouldn’t talk to somebody else the way you talk to yourself. So have some freaking compassion! You’re trying.
#2) Identify what experiment you just tried. Write down what you believe went wrong over the past few weeks. Congrats! You found a strategy that doesn’t work.
#3) Pick a new path and try a different variable. A good scientist meticulously tracks their data and writes down their hypothesis. I would change one of the following:
Exercise: do less; focus on building the routine and doing it consistently. Here’s how to exercise in a way that doesn’t feel like exercise:.
Nutrition: change less. If you couldn’t stick with a diet for 3 weeks, it was too restrictive. Try a different path. For help, check out our Guide to Healthy Eating. It’s designed to build on one small, tiny improvement over time.
Win scenario: don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good.”
#4). Then try again.
For #5 (“Supercharge your results”), I have two perfect ways to help you respawn today:
Consider our online coaching program, and I also send out a free newsletter twice a week to help you stay motivated and entertained.
It’s the best newsletter in the galaxy, I promise you.
