we’re working on college apps prep, signing up for common app, asking for teacher recs, and filling out self description sheets.
now, I'm not sure if it’s obvious, but I’m extraordinarily bad at describing myself / making myself sound good at all. so I’m sitting there like “damn. I really can’t think of 3 words that sum me up, huh?”
and then, my friend (who I had feelings for) passes by.
fuck it, let’s see what he says.
“hey, can you give me 3 words that describe me?”
man really then sat down, looked up at the ceiling with his hand on his chin, and genuinely thought through it. after a minute of conjuring the vocabulary, he gives me 2 words... waits 10 seconds... and calls me charming.
charming.
c h a r m i n g??
CHARMING??
CHARMING
at this point, my mind is completely blank except for a pre-programmed smile and “thank you.” but I absolutely could not recall a single time anyone has called me that, much less in an innocent conversation like this.
but he did. and it lives rent free in my mind now.
do you ever get anxiety from finding a new person on tumblr. like they’ll have really good content and stuff while you scroll through it but what if you’re being too much of a creep by reblogging every other post
link to original
question mark over the first one because while i absolutely ADORE platonic zelink, i love romantic zelink because they are shown to be close friends in almost every recent game. they get each other, they treasure the little aspects of each other, they can enjoy those little moments of silence together. it’s just aaaaaaa. they’re just. best friends who happened to fall in love with each other. i love them so much because i want a romantic relationship like that.
i’m so pissed that so many months ago my parents looked me straight in the eye and had the fucking nerve to tell me they wouldn't care if i came out, only to punch me in the gut and call queerness a disease today.
it just. feels so isolating that i'm never going to be able to open up to them that way, and it breaks my heart that no matter how much i try to at least provide another perspective, they blow me off and call me brainwashed.
i'm just tired of this shit. i can't wait to go to college.
i like hearing my friend talk about his girlfriend.
he’ll just be showing me some powerpoint he made for her and saying how cute she looked as she took his hand, how she’s incredible and ambitious. he’ll tell me how she’s his everything, how she’s the kind of beautiful you want to paint, how the way she blushes makes him feel. he’ll write her letters and tell me how he needs his handwriting to be perfect like hers is. it’s just.
i’ve never heard anyone talk about someone like that and it’s just such an endearing thing to see because he’s so in love with her and it warms my heart.
for the character asks- idk anyone from the maze runner but your favourite and least favourite :)
KINDA RANTY BUT AAA OK
(The Maze Runner book + prequels spoilers below)
ok ok ok. Favorite is Newt. He’s just an amazing person, I instantly fell in love with him once he was introduced. He’s super emotionally intelligent, which I deeply admire in people irl and adore seeing in his interactions with Thomas. I also love how he’s written as a leader, and he’s unironically one of my role models in terms of his way with people. We share some personal shit (constantly questioning if we’re good enough, lil stubborn, lil too stressed over small things). He always fights for his friends to the very end, loves whole heartedly (even if his anger does get in the way), and would probably be one of the most fun people to be around irl.
After reading the infamous page 250, I almost burst into tears, which is super rare for me with any form of media.
Honorable mention is Minho. Love that soft impulsive bastard to death.
Least favorite is probably Ava Paige. The whole series makes her character seem so omniscient and necessary to the plot (so that readers will buy The Fever Code), only to reveal that there was really nothing that deep. Hell, she was the first face of ”the enemy” the main characters saw, wrote detailed reports for the epilogues, and is the fairy fucking godmother that steps in when Thomas is about to be sacrificed! And then we see in the prequel she starts off as a simple low level doctor, gets power hungry, and then weeks later with minimal explanation, regrets her decisions (but the reader experiences the latter part of the redemption arc before the first…?). There was so much potential and high expectations that just fell flat (and made WICKED seem less motivated and strong and whatever). I realize most of the problem here is that the author Does Not Know How To Write Women, but I still highly dislike her for her blandness.
Honorable mention for least favorite is Janson. Fuck Janson.
here’s Newt’s card. I could write a whole essay about how dirty he was done by the narrative just by his character development being time skipped for ~150 pages in The Scorch Trials (I’ve only read the books). But as you can tell, he is my babey ray of sunshine, and I would die for him.
here’s Ava’s card. sooooo close to a bingo, it’s actually infuriating. anyways, I explained myself in my lil rant above. i wish Ava had more of a central role as an antagonist, either through WICKED employees saying her name more, attributing certain things to her, talking about The Purge and how she heroically stepped in and continued onward. in conclusion, yes, i want her to be a worse person than she already is.
