Warning: this might seem really OOC if you never read Syrgja. I apologize.
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Tony liked to say that Natasha was "taking the Loki out for a walk," and as much as Natasha wanted to punch Tony in the gut for saying it, she couldn't deny that, having never taken care of a pet before, this was the closest that she came to walking a dog.
Not that it was a bad thing. She actually liked taking Loki out into the city and showing him the sights, not just because he was a fairly good companion, but because it was undoubtedly entertaining to see how Loki had absolutely no idea what was going on.
"You've branded yourself for life," she said to him when he threw one of her fries to a flock of pecking pigeons and they wouldn't stop following him for two weeks.
"Green light means go, but not for you," she said after dragging Loki away from the middle of the road in the Big Apple when he stepped onto the road right as the wave of rush hour cars and buses revved their engines.
"That probably wasn't your brightest idea," she said when Loki tried to pay the Chinatown bakery with solid gold buttons and they both had to make a run for it before the police were called on them.
Goodness knows how much thought he actually put into taking over Earth if the only thing he seemed to truly understand about mortals was their fashion sense.
So when Natasha had to stop a total of five times for Loki as he peered bemusedly at the red and pink window shopping decorum, the heart-shaped balloons, and the plethora of boxed chocolates in the stores, she realized that Loki knew practically nothing about Earth at all.
Loki shook his head. He furrowed his eyebrows before walking on, casting sidelong glances at the Valentine's Day commercialism at nearly every store window.
"You don't even know what's going on, do you?" said Natasha.
Loki scowled. Natasha smirked.
"Well, Mr. Intelligent better start taking notes. Earth's got quite a culture he needs to remember."
Loki shot a challenging glower at her. She laughed.
"It's Valentine's Day," said Natasha. "Day where everyone buys a load of gifts for their romantic partners to declare their love for them. It's pretty much a day where couples get completely ripped off of their money buying flowers and chocolate and whatever original gifts they had in mind."
Loki glanced warily at the line of enormous plush teddy bears with velvet hearts in their paws pressed against the windows like prisoners.
"Yeah," said Natasha. "It kind of scares me too."
They walked on. Everywhere were couples walking hand in hand, bundled in matching knit and splashes of ruddy love on their cheeks. Natasha wished they had gone out earlier and missed the rush of date-goers flocking Manhattan.
"I doubt Asgard has something like this," she said.
Loki nodded in confirmation.
"Anyway," said Natasha. "Some people joke that it's also Singles Awareness Day. You know," she said at Loki's bemusement, "people who don't have significant others. When Valentine's Day rolls along, they don't really have anyone to celebrate it with."
Loki nodded, pursing his lips.
"Honestly," said Natasha, "I don't know if even couples like the holiday. Look at Tony and Pepper--well, they're doing something special tonight, but they don't do the whole cheesy red hearts and Hallmark card sort of deal. But you know, a lot of people hate the holiday, it seems."
Loki tilted his head.
"Because it's like a reminder that they think they're lonely," said Natasha. "Lots of people want love. Or, to be someone's love. And then there's a whole holiday that commemorates that only for a lot of people to feel like they aren't cared for, you know?"
Loki bit his lip and nodded. Natasha sighed and gave a shrug.
"Of course, lots of people say that about holidays in this politically correct-obsessed generation," said Natasha. "Father's Day and Mother's Day already got some smack talked about them...Christmas and Hanukkah and all those are getting muzzled. Sooner or later we're going to find some guy off his rocker claiming that birthdays were socially unfair because not everyone has one or something crazy like that."
Loki gave a crooked smile. He looked around at the streets, couples and dates fluttering on love's wings, frowning when he saw none of these despondent singles she spoke of.
"Okay, not everyone who's single is depressed," said Natasha. "Some people think it's funny, or they'll benefit off of the discounted chocolate sold tomorrow. But I guess, in the end, it's like any other day. Still alone."
Loki licked his lips in thought before his eyes narrowed.
"Oh no," said Natasha. "I know that look. What are you planning?"
You should know me already by now, said Loki's grin.
"Loki, you're supposed to keep a low profile," said Natasha. "If you are going to ruin Valentine's Day they're going to arrest you."
Ruin? Who said anything about ruin? Loki said in the way he put a dramatically offended hand on his chest.
"God of mischief does little else," said Natasha. "Loki, you will seriously get arrested if you do anything strange."
Loki rolled his eyes and walked on, hands in pocket like an innocent pedestrian.
"I am not falling for that," said Natasha, following him. "What are you planning in those cogs of yours?"
Loki spun on his heel and held out his hand, as if to say, Join me?
"I'm not a partner in crime," said Natasha.
Loki frowned. Right, he said with a twitch of the eye. You're Barton's.
"I'm no one's," she said with a snort.
Loki raised an eyebrow and shrugged a shoulder, turning away.
You're probably not sneaky enough to pull it off anyway.
Natasha did not need a single glance at Loki to know he was expressing it.
"Ohoho," she said. "You think I'm not sneaky?"
Loki stopped in his steps.
"Let me remind you, I am not SHIELD's most valuable asset for no reason," said Natasha. "Whatever you call tricky is probably children's play to me."
When Loki turned to face her again, she saw his wide smile and realized with plummeting dismay that she had fallen right into his trap.
"What are you planning?" she said.
Loki put a finger to his lips before ducking into the nearest convenience store. She was about to follow him before he stopped her, pointing to outside the door to wait for him.
"I'm not a dog," she said.
Loki disappeared into the store. He emerged ten minutes later empty-handed, wide-eyed with and faintly smiling with innocence that she could see right through.
"All right, are you done?" she said.
Loki shook his head before striding right into the next store full of Valentine's Day gifts, and the next, and the next, each time coming out with nothing bought or on his body. Natasha eventually demanded that Loki stand with his arms straight out as she patted down his body, making sure he wasn't partaking in theft, only to find nothing.
"Okay, what are you doing?" she said. By the time he was finished, it was already night and the city brightly lit.
Loki rubbed his chin, squinting in concentration. Without warning, he grabbed Natasha's hand and darted forward, dragging her behind him. She raced to catch up, and they didn't stop until they were in front of a quiet apartment building further from the richly busyness of downtown. There was no one around, everyone either inside their homes or out for celebration, except for the two of them.
"Okay," said Natasha. "Now what's your plan, mastermind?"
Loki shrugged noncommittally at her before unlatching the front door and stepping in. She wasn't going to question how he unlocked it. He stood before one of the apartment room doors and--with a spin of the hands--conjured a bouquet of roses.
"Wait," said Natasha.
He placed it before the door and stepped back, tilting his head to admire his work, before moving on to the next.
"Hold on a second."
Loki ignored Natasha. With the same waving hand motion, he pulled a box of chocolates from thin air and placed them on the doormat.
"Where the heck did you get all these?" said Natasha. "You aren't expending your magic, are you?"
Your priorities are shot, said the way Loki smiled at her with raised eyebrows.
"Seriously, though," said Natasha. "You have no money. I don't even know how you would know how to make these things with your magic, but you had none of these when you came out from the store."
Loki blinked innocently.
"You stole all these, didn't you?" she said.
Loki continued his Santa Claus facade, dropping a Valentine-themed gift at each door, at each apartment building he could reach. He worked endlessly, pulling his (stolen) goods from his magical space and placing them at the door, one after the other, until by the time he was finished it was past midnight, and she had stayed with him the entire time.
"Please tell me," said Natasha as they walked the streets back home, dimmed and quiet--just the two of them, "that you didn't just sneak all these out of every store without them noticing."
Loki made a shhing gesture. Natasha shook her head.
"So what was all this for?" she said. "Did you do it because you felt bad for the single people or because you wanted to mess around with them and make them think they had a secret admirer when in fact it was just you?"
Loki winked before drawing his fingers apart. Between his long fingers appeared a neatly wrapped box of Belgian chocolates, dolled up more fancily than she ever dressed herself. He handed it to her.
"Of course," said Natasha, taking the chocolates in spite of herself. "Your only gift ever for me is one that you stole."
He snapped his fingers. All of a sudden, the box squirmed in her hand, something within ramming against the cardboard like a frantic heart. She jumped, staring demandingly at Loki for an answer, before ripping it open.
Instead of a neat row of dark chocolate, seven magpies darted into the air, flapping their wings with new-found freedom and chirping their love songs of flying. Natasha yelped as they fluttered about her head--one even nestled in her hair as if to claim it as its nest, before they all took off into the sky, black and white simplicity in a sea of overwhelming color.
"You little--" But Natasha couldn't bring herself to say anything because Loki was doubled over, laughing silently into his hand. She couldn't help but grin, shoving Loki back.
"You raised my hopes, you bastard," said Natasha. "You owe me so much chocolate now."
Loki took her wrist to check the time on her watch. It was already one in the morning, Valentine's gone and done with. He raised his eyes with her, cocking an eyebrow playfully.
"Half-off chocolate shopping spree tomorrow?" she said.
