I have never read the book, I have no idea of the plot, I have a two line summary.
Letās go.
There is so much exposition in this itās not even funny
PRESIDENT UMA THURMAN!
Is the book written like this what the fuck this is kind of bad
Where was Prince Henryās actor when they were casting the crown fr heās a dead ringer for baby wills
Donāt get me wrong. The two main characters are fucking hot as shit, but the actual story and the dialogue is so predictable
Alex has the eyelashes of a god
The budget for this isā¦ not high. The presidentās son can only afford to have like 50 people at his party? And itās in a marquee tent with fairy lights instead of at a venue? The fuck? Lol
And theyāre skipping all the relationship development.
Okay wait Get Low just came on
Henry watches TV, but heās never heard popular music?
Oh this everyone getting low except then thing is kinda cute but a little cringe but actually a lot cringe. I refuse to believe that someone who drags their mate to the DF for get low isnāt getting aforementionedly low.
Aw Henry leaves when Alex kissed a girl, methinks heās got a little crush
OH
OH I SEE
oooooooooooooooooooo
Aw cute Henry likes him. Wish weād had a little more foreshadowing of that though cause it seems like they were just friends. Couldāve done with a bit more from Henryās POV
God this snow is so fake though Iāve never even seen snow but that was so obviously a closed set
Pairing up the only two black characters I see hmmm
The actress who plays Nora is absolutely adorable
Both women leaders I love it
Omg did he not come to the party naur his poor little empty place card
Did his place card say āPrince Henryā Iām fucking sorry but a black tie event he would be āHRHā AT LEAST, and they would be using Alexās full first name (assuming itās Alexander) or just Mr. Full first name and Surname who wrote this you know nothing of etiquette š¤£
Miguel hot. Please donāt sleep with him though please Henry will be sad.
Alex you didnāt tell him off the record you eejit
REDRUM
OKAY HER WALKING IN ON THEM WHHXHCHHAHAHAHA IM DYING OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD
Are you stillā¦. āLike Stonehengeā
āYour Royal hardnessā
Omfg Iām dying š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ thatās so cute
He did NOT just pat Henryās ass in public babe youāre gonna get him in trouble
OH OKAY THIS JUST GOT GOOD LETS HAVE A BJ SCENE
oh wait no it didnāt. They really just faded to black on me š
āKeep it Casualā rude and not okay
And also wtf did Henry get off too or did he just blow Alex and leave. What happened to āIām gonna do terrible things to youā like no sir it sounds like you just got a blowjob and then didnāt reciprocate. Lover of the year 10/10 (sArCaSm)
THOSE GREY PANTS HIDE NOTHING ALEX GODDAMN
Why are there bagpipes playing at a polo match?
Iām sorry but for people trying to keep things quiet they sure talk about their sexual escapades in public a lot
A mouthful muahahahha called it with the grey pants alex is hung like a horse
Oof Alex got swerved for the hand hold thatās a big ouch
Aww the bit where heās not sure whoās topping and whoās bottoming itās such a mood and itās cute.
Okay stop. Wait. Iāve paused this. Anyone who says they went to boarding school as a justification for being gay or experienced is lying. I went to an all girls boarding school, and my husband went to an all boys. All boys schools are some of the most disgustingly homophobic places on the fucking planet. If heās saying that all the boys are fucking each other heās dead wrong. If anything heād be so shamed for being even remotely gay that heād be traumatised. Fuck boarding school. Okay back to the movie.
Ooooh damn alex has a great body
Oh wow this is actually really fucking cute
I canāt believe how wrong I was about you FUCK OFF THIS IS SO CUTE
Aaaaaahhhh!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! THIS SEX SCENE IS SO ROMANTIC AND CUTE!
I canāt help but laugh with the hand closeups though itās so titanic and cringe
But the facial closeups are *beautiful*
These guys are phenomenal actors Iām so glad they didnāt fade to black for that scene. But the directing isā¦ interesting.
Pausing to find out if the actors are gay
Unconfirmed for both. I ship them together they look beautiful as a couple.
āIām learningā oh fuck off thatās beautiful
Oof the plane home is a mood alex is so in love.
His mum is right though. She canāt do shit unless she gets re-elected
Wait was he formerly allowed to speak to the press lol since when??? As if heās authorised.
āYes madam presidentā oh shut up you angsty teenager š¤£ this is so āyou just donāt GET me mom and dadddddā
Awww heās so cute with his Texas thing though
THE EMAILS BACK AND FORTH
WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT IN PUBLIC
Wouldnāt it have been more romantic for him to be waiting in Alexās apartment because then he actually wouldāve been able to greet him properly instead of just grabbing his shoulder like āwhat are you doing hereā
Miguel KNOWS and this is bad bad bad. Why the evil Hispanic man though?
AHAHHAHAHHA ZAHRA STORMING IN WHERE IS SHE omfg she is by far my favourite character in this whole movie
āWho knows about this?ā āLiterally no one but you. And the secret service. And Percy. And Nora. Oh and I told my sister. Oh I didnāt know that? Yeah sheās really happy for us.ā BSHCHJCJSHAHHAAHHAHA
That was my favourite line so far hands down
Technically Iām the spare CHCISOOAK PRINCE HARRY CODED š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
As for you little lord fuckleroy I will brexit your head from your body OKAY ZAHRA HAS THE WORLDS BEST DIALOGUE NEW FAVOURITE LINE
THE BOW - your royal highness omfg Iām dead Zahra deserves an award and an Oscar the actress is so good
Aw the talk with mum awww this whole thing is cute. Bestie Uma is an ally. Her telling him about bottoming is so iconic omfg
Aw look at Henry in a flannel shirt š
The karaoke omfg and he sucks š
Alex is so in love holy shit
Aw and Alexās dad loves him
THE SHUFFLE CLOSER ON THE DOCK
WHAT A CALLBACK
oh
Oh no
Oh I donāt like this
I donāt like the look on Henryās face rn
Oh wow alex just got swerved.
Iā *splash*
Thatās how Iām leaving every uncomfortable conversation from now on. Just roll away and splash into the water.
HES LEAVING COMPLETELY?!!!!???!
Aw i like your dog whatās his name
Wait whereās the dog I want more dog
Quickly checks doesthedogdie.com
Only one report and it says no so I think weāre good.
Did you actually end things with Alex though? NO YOU DID NOT. You just GHOSTED HIM
Noraās right go to london
OH HES HERE HES AT THE GATE shkskskksksks
oh my god Henryās speech is heartbreaking.
āI can love you and want you and still not want that life. Iām allowed. And it doesnāt make me a liar. It makes me a man with some infinitesimal shred of self preservation and you donāt get to come in here and call me a coward for it.ā
Okay whelp now Iām crying. Being a prince do be like that. Except fuck Harry and Meghan for reals.
Well you canāt just not let anything happen to you. Because nothing will ever happen to you. Isnāt this what Dory says to Marlin in Finding Nemo wtf š PLAGIARISM
Iām pretty sure the royal family donāt have a key to the British museum please correct me if Iām wrong, they could have magic skeleton keys to every building in Britain but it seems unlikely.
Circling a sculpture of a male torso like sharks hmm yes the deepening of the movie such imagery much wow very meaning
Please donāt dance amongst the statues thatās really cringe
Aw okay no I take it back itās cute.
Elvis? it shouldāve been a Bowie song just saying.
OH WAIT THE DOGS NAME IS DAVID I JUST REMEMBERED awww yesss hope nothing happens to david
Aw theyāre dancing like theyāre at a school disco š¤£
History huh? Bet we could make some.
PLEASE Alex waking up in Buckingham palace š thatās gonna be an awkward walk of shame past the paparazzi š¤£š¤£š¤£
The chain on that key is new it is not old. When did he make that necklace yesterday?
WHY WONT THEY LET THEM TALK THIS IS DUMB AND STUPID
Surely someone has a sneaky phone they can hook them up on COME ON!!!!!
I fucking knew it was Miguel. Even when I thought it was the palace I knew it was him.
āThis is about privacyā eek Prince Harry is gonna love this IRL
That whole speech from Alex was beautiful. Also means they canāt deny anything which is probably not the best strategic move I hope Henryās not mad that he did that. Stupid idealistic Americans.
ZAHRA IM OBSESSED WITH YOU YOURE THE REAL QUEEN AND SHES FUCKING THE EQUARRY OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS IM IN LOVE IS ZAHRA SINGLE I WANT TO MARRY HER
SKINNY PERFECT ASS hjcicidoskkcncjidisokncnnfmdkskskkckkckcjncnsnamkck
āBabyā šššššššš
āIām coming to londonā WHY DID YOU NOT DO THAT AS SOON AS THE EMAILS GOT LEAKED
Omg that hug on the stairs stop it theyāre actually so beautiful together
HES NOT PLAYING YANKEE DOODLE ON THE PIANO
Did Henry see Alexās speech tho I kinda need to know
OH YAY HE SAW IT jcjcjdkksoxjjcncks
āYour boyfriendā
Oh the king wants to see them oh shiiiit
THE SIGNET RING
Shut the fuck up Phillip you Poncy cunt
THEY
No
NO THEY DIDNT
They did not get STEPHEN FUCKING FRY to play a HOMOPHOBIC KING
Bsbchjcjsjdjkckfkkdmsa I am laughing so fucking hard right now Iām crying I actually had to pause it Iām laughing so hard
THIS CASTING DIRECTOR EITHER NEEDS AN OSCAR OR A RAZZY I CANT DECIDE
Why havenāt they bowed all the royals now to each other
He smokes lol the king does not smoke they would consider it vulgar these days
That is a LARGE glass of whisky. Like that is four shots minimum.
Dear God, this King is so fucking stupid if he thinks that this can be explained with Clandestien reports after Alex has just done like a super romantic beautiful speech publicly acknowledging their relationship ļæ¼.
Like what is he expecting Henry to say that Alex was lying and he was making it up to further his mums political campaign?
Hommo sek siual š¤£š¤£ Iām sorry but Stephen fry playing a homophobe is just so far outside the realm of me being able to suspend my disbelief Iām just PMSL
They will not accept a Prince- just wait
Now is the part where thereās a giant crowd supporting him
CALLED IT
GO
YAYYYYYYYYYY aww theyāre so cute together aww aww awww yayyy look at all the pride flags
Of course the election hangs on Texas lol
Itāll come down to Austin
Writing her concession speech on election night I think not this wouldāve been preappproved weeks ago
Prince would not be on stage he wouldnāt be allowed either by the royals or by his security team or by the Democrats lol
AND THE MOVIEāS OVER
Rachel Hilson thatās her name I love her
Someone needs to tell me if the book has better pacing than this because the pacing was all over the place for the first 45 minutes. The rest of the movie was great but idk
OH THERES A POST CREDITS š¤£ aww cake YAY thatās so cute abbdbsjajhahahahqh
There we go.
Overall not bad but the pacing and exposition was really off at the start. Lucky Iām procrastinating from writing otherwise I mightāve turned it off lol.
Love the actors (especially Alexās eyelashes babe what mascara you using damn) and their chemistry but idk the writing was a bit cringe in parts. Really well acted though.
Recommend-ish?
Edit: itās now the next day and Iāve had time to think about it. And the more I think about it the more Iām fucking in love with this movie
How rarely do we get to just see two silly little boys in love with none of the trauma dumping or anything just a beautiful little romcom for two happy little gays
10/10 idc about the exposition and cringe I loved it and it deserves the world.
