a/n: So here we go, this took me so long but im very happy with it! Not a reader insert, but an OC of sorts.
warnings: mentions of past abuse, nothing too graphic but its still there.
word count: 8k (whoa buddy.)
He had been awake for hours trying to get his apartment clean. Ben was flying in today and Joe had offered up his spare room for while he was here, he simply couldn’t let his best friend stay in a hotel! Checking his watch, he sent Ben a text telling him that he had a few things to do that day but that the door would be open for him when he arrived. Taking another look around the room he sent out another text, to his oldest friend, Casey. He sent a similar message to her, stating that the door was open whenever she was ready to stop by, that he had to leave shortly. Not waiting for a message from either of the two, he grabbed his jacket and out the door he went.
Casey shivered slightly when she entered Joe’s apartment, the warmth on her skin making her sigh happily. Closing the door behind her softly, she kicked off her ratty sneakers by the door. Shuffling inside, headed straight to the kitchen where she found a coffee mug sitting beside the machine, a note with her name on Joe’s messy handwriting say atop the cup. She grabbed it with a smile before flipping it open, a twenty dollar bill falling out of it.
Lucy has clothes for you at her place, so when you are done here head there and Gwil will be escorting you, this is for a bus to Lucy’s. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you today, but know that I am so proud of you! Enjoy the coffee. It’s already perfect, just press the button, and there is food in the fridge.
She smiled slightly as she ran her fingers over the writing. Joe had been Casey’s oldest friend, going all the way back to the sandbox, memories you don’t ever forget. Putting the sweet note into her pocket, she pressed the button and the machine came to life, filling the room with the smell of the dark roast that she loved. Deciding that a shower was more important, she touched the refrigerator lightly and set the money beside the machine, before heading to the bathroom where a towel was already set out for her.
She tried to avoid the mirror, but something inside her made her look. Her hair was ratty and matted, her eyes sunken and dark. Sighing slightly as she ran her fingers over the bruise on her jaw, only a little yellow now. The split in her lip had all but healed by now, only looking like a pale pink scar. She kept her eyes locked on the mirror as she started to undress, seeing more fading bruises all over her torso, all at various stages of healing. It’s hard to believe that after two weeks she could still see the evidence of what had happened.
Willing herself not to cry, she turned away from the mirror and slid out of the dirty jeans she had been in for days. After turning on the water, she tried to run her brush through her hair, but the bristles couldn’t work their way through the clumps, so she gave up. When she stepped into the steaming water, she finally let herself fall apart. Tears streaming down her face as she let the water wash them away the moment they fell. How did I get here? Why me? What did I do that was so wrong that I deserve this? The questions slammed into her head before she could stop them. She shook her head quickly and sniffled a little, standing up a little straighter. You know what would help? Whiskey. “No.” She finally spoke out loud, as if her mind was actually able to respond to her. Whiskey wouldn’t help her, it would make things worse, and she knew it.
She stomped her foot lightly in the water, smiling lightly as the puddle that was forming. She grabbed the shampoo and started lathering it into her tangled hair as best as she could, before rinsing it and repeating the same process. When it came to the conditioner, she worked it into the mattes in her hair gently before grabbing the brush and fighting through them once more. Tying up her conditioner filled brushed hair into a bun at the base of her neck she grabbed for the washcloth and the small bottle of body gel that Joe had obviously bought just for her. She would have to think of a way to thank him for being so nice to her, though she couldn’t help but think it had nothing to do with being friends, and more to do with pity. Casey hated being pitied. She knew that she was pathetic for putting up with her husband as long as she did, but she was accepting her failure and was now working to become stronger.
Halfway through rinsing her finally clean skin under the spray of the water, she heard the front door. She tensed up, before chuckling humorlessly at herself. He wouldn’t be here, he can’t hurt you. She thought softly before relaxing slightly into the water again. It was probably just Joe coming back.
When Ben walked into the apartment, he smiled looking around Joe’s place. It was just like him, classic and homey. Taking a deep breath in, Ben’s mouth watered at the smell of the strong coffee, and practically floating towards it like they would in an old cartoon. When he saw the mug sitting next to the machine, he smiled again, Joe was so nice to him. He began to make his cup of coffee when he heard the shower running. Perfect time to scare him. Ben snuck his way across the floor to the bathroom door, gripping the handle quietly. “JOE!” He shouted as he opened the door quickly, but the sound that came from behind the curtain was anything but a man’s scream. Joe would have told me if he had a lady friend in the apartment. Ben realized to himself as a face poked out of the shower curtain.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” The woman shouted, holding the curtain close to her chest. Ben instantly turned around, shielding his eyes.
“Who the fuck are you?” He shouted back at her.
“Who are you?” Both of them were just shouting at each other at this point and it seemed like either of them were going to get the answers they needed to understand the situation.
“You know, I told Joe that leaving his door unlocked in New York would let the street rats in.” Ben grumbled as he noticed the dirtied clothes littering the bathroom. He slammed the coffee mug onto the counter and spun around to face the strange woman. “So what? You just snuck in here and decided to take yourself a quick shower while no one was here? Did you think you wouldn’t get caught?” He took a step closer to the shower.
“What? No-” Casey started to laugh but Ben cut her off with a wave of his hand.
“Just let me-” She started again but again, Ben was quick to stop her.
“No, out.” Ben stood his ground firmly, crossing his arms.
“Can you just wait a goddamn minute?” Casey snapped, who was this guy and why did he think that he could kick her out? This was Joe’s place, she had been invited, and yet this strange blond man with a thick accent thinks he can just waltz in here and start barking orders. All of that changed when she saw the twitch in his arm, quickly grabbing at the shower curtain and ripping it away from her.
“OUT!” He shouted at her, and she hated that she flinched away. She hated that she couldn’t stand up to this stranger. She hated that she cowered against the back wall of the shower as he threw her dirty clothes at her. She hated him.
With treacherous tears trying to squeeze their way out of her eyes, she picked up her clothes already soaked from the shower and with a soft whimper she pulled the wet jeans over her wet legs.
“I don’t care!” Ben snapped at her, and she flinched away again. Ben felt guilty for only a second at being so mean to this stranger, but how dare she think she can just break into his friend’s house while he was out? Who did she think she was?
Casey sniffled, and avoiding eye contact with the man, something else she hated, something else he had taken away from her, she gathered her shirt and bra, covering her chest with them as she ran out of the room. Shoving her bra into her bag and quickly pulling on her shirt, she grabbed for her coat as Ben was rounding the corner.
“Would you just leave already?” He shouted again, and this time she let out a choked sob, not even putting her shoes on as she ran out the door, slamming it behind her. “Come to New York, he said, It’ll be fun, he said.” Ben muttered mockingly as he took an angry sip of his coffee before plopping onto the couch. “Bloody hell.”
Casey made it down to the front lobby of Joe’s building and only then did she stop long enough to slip her bare feet into her shoes. Wiping at her face quickly, she saw that there were quite a few people staring at her. Head down, she tightened her light jacket and she ran out into the crowded sidewalk and shivered from the cold. Joe! He would be able to explain who that was and why he was kicking her out! She patted her jacket pocket, curing herself when she realized that she had left it in the apartment. Looking back up towards the building, she realized it wasn’t worth talking to that horrible man again, not that he would believe that it was hers anyways.
Cursing herself again for not grabbing a heavier coat, she pulled the light windbreaker tighter to her body and started walking to Lucy’s, maybe Lucy would let her finish her shower too. Hiking her backpack up her shoulder more, she fought through the crowd, enjoying the slight body heat she stole from strangers as she passed them. Had Casey had her phone, she would have gotten the text from Lucy saying that she wasn’t going to be home, to use the key under the mat. But here she was, almost two hours later, standing outside of Lucy’s building, when she heard a voice behind her.
“You have got to be kidding me! Twice in one day? Go beg somewhere else.” The blond from earlier spit from behind her, making Casey tense.
“My friend lives here, she’s supposed to be giving me something.” Casey explained softly, not looking man in the eyes. “I’m not breaking into anywhere.”
“Whatever. I’ll be sure to let the building manager know that the street rats are begging around his building, maybe your friend will also be removed.” He scoffed at her, slamming the car door and walking into the building himself. Casey waited outside for a few moments as to not have to ride the elevator with the beast of a man she had to encounter twice in one day. Once she felt enough time had passed, she made her way through the front doors, heading straight to the stairs, taking them two by two until she reached the right door. Walking into the hallway that housed Lucy’s apartment, she reached the door with a skip.
Casey had gotten along with Lucy the moment that Joe had introduced them just two weeks ago, Lucy taking the battered girl under her wing and giving her the clothes she was currently wearing. Casey couldn’t believe that Joe had such nice friends, like Lucy and Gwilym, who were so eager to help her. Gwilym was supposed to be picking her up to take her to the courthouse today, and as much as Casey wished it was Joe who would be there for her, she accepted the help with only a small fight. Casey smiled at the flowery door mat that Lucy had in front of her door, knocking on the door lightly.
Casey’s smile fell quickly when the person who answered the door was not, in fact, Lucy, but instead it was the cruel blond man again. Shit. “Jesus christ.” He breathed out, rolling his eyes. “You have a friend here? Lucy is your friend?” Casey nodded her head, but when she couldn’t look the man in the eye he scoffed. “Sure she is. I’m sure that you know Joe as well yes?” When Casey nodded her head again, the man let out a dark laugh. “I’m sure someone like you knows Joe and Lucy. Let me guess, you’re also close friends with Rami and Gwil? The whole bloody cast of a movie I’m sure you’ve seen posters for. But you don’t know me? Likely. Go, before I call the cops.” Ben slammed the door in the girls face and she crumpled to the floor in a heap. Why today of all days. Since she had no phone, she wasn’t able to contact anyone, and she knew that no one would let someone who looked as she did now, use theirs.
Pulling herself off of the floor, she cursed herself again for leaving the money Joe had left her on the counter, and also for not drinking the coffee before she had tried to shower. Looking at the clock, 9:28, she had barely two hours left until she was due in court and there was no way of getting ahold of Gwilym to pick her up, so she had no choice but to talk all the way across town. No sense in feeling bad for yourself, Casey, you should have spoken up when he found you in the shower. She thought to herself darkly, hating her ex-husband for taking away her ability to speak freely. She was always so afraid of the wrath of a man, and she hated herself for it. She hated the person she had become.
Casey walked quickly back the stairs and ran down them and straight out the door, stopping only to dig through her pocket to see that she only had three dollars to her name. Not enough for a cab across town. She took off at a sprint as she ran towards her destination as fast as she could. Praying she could get there in time.
Looking at the large clock in the center of the courthouse building, Casey again, dropped to the ground. She had made it, but not in time. 12:03. She was a half hour late, but she had to try. She ran as fast as her tired legs would take her up the front steps, until she ran into him.
“You look like a mess, Casey. What could you not pull yourself out of the bottle long enough to make yourself presentable and make it here on time?” The man she used to love glared down at her. “You thought that you could beat me, but guess what?” He leaned down and grabbed her by the chin, she pulled her head away but he was quicker, trapping her jaw in his grasp. He brought his face next to her, in a manner that people would have thought intimate, though the venom in his words betrayed that. “You will never win, she is mine now.” He whispered darkly in her ear and she let out a sob.
“You can’t take her away from me.” Casey whispered as she looked into the man’s eyes as he smiled, “Please.” The tears flowed freely down her face as she gripped his arm. “John, please. At least let me see her?” She asked, already knowing the answer.
“You want to see her like this? You’re pathetic, Casey.” He scoffed, pushing her jaw away from him, scoffing as she stumbled to the ground. “You’re drunk now aren’t you?”
“I swear I’m not! I haven’t drank in months, and you know that!” Casey cried, pushing herself to her feet. “John, please, you know that you are only doing this to hurt me. You know how hard I’ve been working at this, you just want to punish me because I left.” Casey grabbed at his arm again, but John pulled it away quickly.
“You tried to take her from me, and you know I don’t like when people try to take things from me, Casey.” He brushed his hand over his sleeve, as if Casey touching it would ruin the fabric. “Go back to your street life, that you seem to enjoy more than your life with us.”
“No one hits me on the street, John! No one threatens my daughters life in the street! No one to smack me around when dinner is served at exactly seven oclock!” Casey screamed at him, making more than one person look at the couple. John hissed and grabbed her arm tightly as he pulled her closer to the building.
“You’ve lost your chance to prove that, Casey. You couldn’t be bothered to show up today and she will know that. She will know that you left her in that house.” John whispered to her, but she could hear the threat in his voice. “That you left her with me.” He gave her a wicked smile. Casey sobbed as her legs gave out beneath her and John let her arm go so she fell into a heap. “Enjoy your street life, Casey.” John straightened out his collar before dropping a twenty dollar bill in front of her. “I don’t want to see you again.” He didn’t even look back at her as he walked away, leaving her a sobbing mess.
“Hey Benny!” Joe shouted as he got back to his apartment, finding it empty. He walked around a bit, seeing the wet floor of his bathroom but the towel still folded on the counter where he left it. “Casey?” He yelled, walking into the kitchen to see the note was gone but the money remained, next to Casey’s phone. He had bought her the phone when she left her husband, and she always had it on her. When he clicked the home button, he saw that she had many missed calls, one from himself, one from Lucy and five from Gwil. Pulling out his own phone, he called Gwilym first.
“Hey buddy, how did it go today? Casey left her phone here.” Joe asked as soon as he heard the line pick up.
“I honestly don’t know, she never responded to my calls.” Gwils voice rang through the speaker and Joe’s heart dropped. “I sat outside Lucy’s place for a while and I only saw Ben leaving.”
“Oh! Maybe Ben took her then!” Joe smiled to himself.
“No, he was alone, and he was grumpy and didn’t even say hi to me.” Gwilym huffed.
“Let me give him a call, I’ll let you know what I find out. Later!”
“See ya soon.” Gwil promised and then they both hung up, Joe was quick to dial up Ben’s number, not feeling surprised when he heard bar noises when the Brit answered the phone.
“Ben! Hey where are you?” Joe pocketed Casey’s phone and pulled his coat and scarf back on.
“Pub by your place, mate, what’s up?” Joe smiled at the man’s slightly slurred voice.
“Headed to you, buddy, sit still.” Joe ended the call and he was back out into the hallway, headed down the block to Ben.
When Joe entered the room, Ben was quick to jump on him laughing deeply. “It’s good to see you man!” He shouted over the music. Joe gave the man a strong hug and clapped his hand on his back.
“Good to see you too! How was the flight?” Joe asked, taking the beer that Ben was offering, laughing at Ben’s eye roll. “That good huh?” He laughed.
“The flight was fine, but when I got to your place, there was someone in the apartment, so I yelled a bit and kicked them out. You really shouldn’t leave your door unlocked, mate.” Ben chuckled lightly, taking a sip of his beer.
“Wait, there was a woman in my apartment so you yelled at her to leave?” Joe asked, dumbfounded. He rubbed his hand down his face and pulled his phone out.
“Well yeah, she was dirty, man. You should have seen her.” Ben scoffed.
“You had no right to do that, Ben. What the fuck?” Joe stood quickly, turning and running out the door. Ben slapped down a few bills and ran after him.
“What happened? What did I do wrong?”
“You’re an asshole, that’s what you did wrong.” Joe muttered as he dialed quickly. “Lucy? Did she stop there?” Joe was staring at Ben, and he noticed when his eyes went wide.
“I had told her I wasn’t going to be home, but I left the key. The clothes I had for her are still in the closet.” Lucy’s voice rang through and Ben rubbed his hand over his head and sighed deeply.
“It’s alright, Luce. I think Ben knows something, I’ll call you back.” Joe’s eyes bore into Ben’s as he shoved the phone into his pocket.
Ben lit up a cigarette and started pacing back and forth in front of Joe as he told him the whole story, from the beginning, Joe’s face getting angrier by the second. He told Joe about the shower, and about threatening to call the police at Lucy’s, and all Joe asked was “What time was that?” When Ben answered that it was around 9:30, Joe snapped.
“Goddamnit, Ben! That was hours ago!” He shouted, making Ben flinch slightly. “That dirty woman you kicked out was my best friend Casey. She had some place to be today and she didn’t make it to any of the check in’s that I set up for her. She left her phone at my place next to the cash I was giving her to get to the courthouse.” Joe locked his fingers behind his head as he paced. “I’ve got to find her, and now you’re going to help make this right.” He shouted the last part, pointing his finger into the blond man’s face.
“You make a habit of befriending street rats?” Ben was beginning to get angry for being blamed for this and he had never seen Joe get so angry before, he just didn’t understand.
“She wasn’t a goddamn street rat. She’s a-” Joe shook his head in bewilderment at his friend. “It doesn’t matter, Ben. Just know that you fucked up and maybe-” Joe was cut off mid sentence when he saw him. John. Casey’s ex-husband. “HEY!” Joe shouted, his face getting more and more red. “Where is she!” He took long strides over towards the man.
“If you’re talking about Casey, I left her outside the courthouse, an hour late I might add.” John scoffed as Joe approached him quickly. “Probably drunk as usual.”
“She was late..” Joe trailed off, looking at the man that he was certain was evil incarnate. “No, I tried to help-”
“When will you realize that she isn’t worth it? She’s not the girl you once knew, Joe, she’s nothing but an alcoholic who lies about everything.” John shrugged his shoulder and started walking away, but Joe wasn’t letting him off that easily.
“She lies? Were those bruises a lie, John? Was that busted lip a lie?” He shouted loudly, making people look at the exchange. “And what about Sophie? Huh? Now that your favorite punching bag is gone, what will become of her?” Joe was fighting back the tears that he knew were going to come out. Casey had told him all about John and what he liked to do when he came home. Joe knew all about the time that Casey had come home just as John’s hand had slid across their daughters face. It burned him up to know that that little girl was stuck in that house now, and while he could put the blame on John, instead he turned to Ben whose eyes were wide with shock.
“This is your fault!” He shouted, the angry tears flowing down his face. “If you hadn’t kicked her out of everywhere she needed to be, she would have had a chance!” Joe pushed his shoulder into Ben’s as he walked past. “Come on!” He shouted over his shoulder as he walked away, Ben following quickly before sliding in after Joe into a cab.
“Joe, please listen to me, I didn’t know.” Ben explained as they walked up Lucy’s buildings stairs after paying the cabbie. “She didn’t say anything, she just cowered away from me.” He whispered the last part, his heart straining in his chest. “I didn’t know.”
“So your first instinct when you see a bruised up woman is to shout at her? When she cowered away from you, you just kept going? And when you saw her again? What you just assumed she was following you and shouted at her again? What the hell is wrong with you?” Joe was fuming, brushing off the snow that had started to fall off of his jacket.
“I didn’t know!” Ben shouted back, throwing his hands in the air. “Would it have been so difficult to tell me someone would be at your place when I got there?”
“I thought she would be gone by the time you got there.” Joe lowered his voice. “Look Ben, I’m sorry that I’m being so rough on you right now, but-” He stopped himself and rubbed a hand over his face. “Ok. Look. This isn’t my place to tell you but that man that I was yelling at? That was John, Casey’s abusive husband. Ex husband. She ran away from him two weeks ago with their four year old daughter, Sophie. John called the cops saying that his crazy alcoholic wife had kidnapped their child and she was arrested and Soph was returned to him.” Joe scratched at his head before continuing, “She had court today to show them what he had done to her and will inevitably do to their daughter. She was to shower at my place, get clothes from Lucy and the Gwil was supposed to take her to the courthouse.”
Ben folded his arms over his chest and looked away from his friend. “We need to find her, and hope to god that she isn’t drinking.” Joe sighed heavily. Ben simply nodded his head and pointed to Lucy’s door. Joe clapped his hand on Ben’s back and the two men silently walked the short distance to the door. Once Lucy answered, they retold everything to her and she gasped, looking at Ben like she didn’t know who he was anymore. Ben stayed quiet as the two of them went over all of the places that she could have been, before insisting that they let him help. Splitting up seemed to be the best idea to find her.
“Let’s take a few jackets with us, I know that she only has one thin one since she left the shelter.” Lucy mumbled, handing thick coats to both men. Joe called up Gwil and while he was also extremely pissed at Ben, he jumped at the chance to help them search for her. The four of them all seperating to different areas.
“It’s February in New York, it’s cold and without a shelter, she could freeze in this snow.” Joe muttered as they stepped out of the building. It was suddenly heavily snowing and he pulled his own coast close to his body. “Split up, call me as soon as you find her!” He shouted as he jogged away.
“I’m not going to tell you not to feel bad, Ben, because you honestly should be ashamed of yourself.” Lucy spit out before she too, was on her way.
Ben cursed himself loudly, before heading off in the direction he was told to go. Who thinks to look for someone under a bridge? He thought to himself as he shoved his hands in his pockets and took off running.
By the time that Ben had reached the bridge Joe told him about, the sun had set and he was holding his collar up close to his neck. “Casey!” He shouted every few feet, hoping to get a response. Don’t forget to check under the bridge, not just around it. Joe had reminded him before he left the apartment. Apparently there were a lot of people who hung around the bridges in snowstorms in New York. Americans. Ben chuckled dryly to himself as he shouted her name again. The closer he got to the bridge, he could see a slight figure huddled in on itself under the bridge.
When he walked up to the shivering figure, he whispered her name again. “Casey?” The figure lifted its head and shook it.
“What are you going to tell me that you know the person who owns the bridge too?” She scoffed, hiccuping slightly. Ben took a step towards the woman who looked so much smaller than she had that morning. “Who are you anyways? Are you-” Hiccup “Following me?” The woman took a long drink from a bottle that Ben had not seen when he walked up.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know who you were this morning.” Ben took another step, walking slowly as to not frighten her.
“I’m not fucking scared deer, buddy, I’m not gonna run away if you walk towards me.” She slurred a little but Ben could tell that she was scared. “Who are you?” She asked again.
“My name is Ben, I’m friends with Joe.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth? You didn’t believe me when I told you I was friends with him.” She scoffed, taking another gulp, Ben watched her face scrunch up at the drink.
“Casey, look, I’m sorry ok? I fucked up, real bad. I didn’t know what had happened to-” Casey cut him off with a scoff.
“What do you think that you know me now? Joe told you about me so you think you know?” She struggled to stand, but swatted Ben’s hand away when he reached for her, “You know nothing. You are only here because you feel bad that you yelled at me, knowing that he yelled at me too. You don’t care about me, you only want to make yourself feel better and pity me.” She shook the bottle at him, sloshing the liquid onto the ground. “Don’t you fucking pity me.”
“You’re right, I do feel bad, and that is why I’m out here, but I can honestly tell you that I do not pity you.” He crossed his arms, suddenly realizing that he was holding the coat Lucy gave him. “I think you are incredibly strong to have gone through that and came out the other side.” He held out the coat to her and she eyed it for a moment, shaking her head.
“I don’t need your help, Joe’s friend.” She smacked at the coat.
“It’s not from me, it’s from Lucy.”
She picked her head up and looked at the coat again, snatching it quickly and pulling it on. Finding gloves and a hat in the sleeve and she smiled, running her hand over the hat. “Lucy.” Casey cooed softly.
“Can we get you home? Wherever it is you stay?” Ben asked, rubbing his hands together in the cold. “It’s getting awfully cold out here.”
Casey smiled at him softly, the warmth of the coat already bringing more color into her cold skin. “Oh, Joe’s friend. Welcome to my home.” She stumbled only slightly as she spun around with her arms spread wide. Ben’s eyes widened considerably as he watched her.
“Here? Isn’t there a shelter that will take you in? It’s freezing out here!”
“Shelters are family space only, kids need to be inside before I do. Plus they wont let me in because, well,” She shook the bottle slightly with a dry laugh.
“Joe said you were a recovering alcoholic.” He started slowly, moving closer to her, this time she didn’t back away. Casey scoffed and rolled her eyes before leaning against the wall behind her, handing the bottle to Ben. Taking the almost empty bottle and bringing it to his lips, he took a deep drink, not handing it back to her.
“Yeah I can see how well that’s going.”
“Well I kind of had an overly shitty day today.” She scoffed, reaching for the bottle in his hands but he pulled it away. “Some asshole kept me from what I needed to do, and I lost my daughter. I think I’m allowed.”
Ben felt the guilt creep up his spine and he looked away from her, taking another swig from the bottle. “Casey..”
Casey put her hand up to stop him. “Please stop apologizing. Shit happens, not everything can work in my favor.” She slid down the wall until she was sitting on her heels. “It would just be nice if something went my way for once.”
Ben looked at the woman, sitting in a small position, head in her hands. “You’re right, you deserve this.” He handed the bottle back to her slowly, making her pick up her head with a small smile.
“You’re not too bad, Joe’s friend.” She smiled, but shook her head and held her hand up, refusing the bottle.
“Well instead of sleeping out here, I’m sure Joe wouldn’t mind if I offered up his spare room. It’s too cold out here.” Ben stuck his hand down to her and she gave a small smile before shaking her head, Ben looked at her confused.
“Joe will kill me if he knew I had been drinking, I think it’s best if you just tell them that you couldnt find me, I’ll make my way back to Joe’s in the morning.” Casey pulled the coat closer to her body and sighed into the fabric. “I’ll be alright out here.”
“Fat chance. I’ll just tell Joe that you went straight to bed and he wouldn’t even bother you until morning, he doesn’t even have to know.”
“Before tonight, I haven’t had a single drink for eleven months and twenty-seven days.”
“Jesus, Casey. This really is my fault.” Ben scrubbed a hand over his face quickly, pushing off of the wall and pacing a little. “If I hadn’t been such an arsehole this morning, you would have gotten to where you needed to be on time and maybe you’d have your kid.”
“If you say that you are sorry one more time, I will punch you.” Casey pointed a finger at him and laughed. “Alright, I’ll let you have your ‘save the damsel’ moment, Joe’s friend. Take me to Joe’s.” She held both of her arms up for Ben to help her stand, which he did happily. “But I will need to talk to him tonight, I promised I wouldn’t keep things from him anymore.” Ben nodded his head, and after she took one step and stumbled, Ben chuckled sadly as he stepped in front of her and crouched down.
“Jump on, it’ll be easier than making sure you won’t stumble into the street.” He spoke over his shoulder at her. With a loud laugh, she jumped right onto his back and he grunted at the force. “You’re lucky you’re adorable.” Ben grumbled, bouncing her up further on his back. Casey laughed lightly and tightened her arms around his neck, and off they were headed towards Joe’s apartment. “You should call Joe, He’s been worried sick about you for hours.” Ben hooked her ankles together in front of him so he could dig in his pocket for his phone before handing it to her.
Sighing she took, the offered phone and punched in Joe’s number and squeezed her eyes shut and waited for him to yell at her.
“Ben? Did you find her yet? I haven’t heard anything from anyone else and I’m fucking freaking out.” He blurted out as soon as he answered the phone, and it made her smile but also made her heart break for causing this.
“Casey, oh my god! Where are you?” Joe’s voice softened and she could feel a tear slipping down her face.
“Two blocks away, how long it’ll take us to get to yours is undetermined, your friend here walks awfully slow.” Joe could hear Ben’s laughter through the line slightly.
“Well if you weren’t so bloody pissed I wouldn’t have to carry you and we could get there quicker.” Ben laughed and Casey went silent.
“Casey.. are you- are you drunk?” Joe gasped at her, she had been doing so well.
“Goddammit Casey.” And then the line went dead. Joe had actually hung up on her, and it made more tears spill from her eyes and she handed the phone back to Ben over his shoulder. She let out a loud sigh and dropped her chin onto the top of Ben’s head.
“Now he is pissed, so thanks for that, Joe’s friend.” She sighed loudly again.
Ben sighed with her, “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to do much right when it comes to you, can I?”
“We can start over tomorrow.” Casey yawned and dropped her head to Ben’s shoulder, her whiskey breath breezing across his neck and he repressed a shudder at the feeling. Within seconds, he could feel her breath even out as she started drifting off to sleep.
One last block and Ben was walking up the stairs to Joe’s apartment, tapping the door lightly with his foot. When the door was wrenched open quickly and Gwilym pulled Ben inside quickly. Joe stayed sitting on the couch but Lucy ran over quickly.
“Is she alright?” Lucy whispered to Ben as he kicked off his shoes by the door, allowing Gwilym to pull off Casey’s soaking wet sneakers with a grimace.
“I think she’s alright, she passed out a few minutes ago. Luce will you help get her into dry clothes? I think she would feel better if you did that?” Ben’s voice was pleading to Lucy, knowing that she was upset with him but that she loved Casey. She nodded tightly, eyes not breaking away from his.
“Let me give you a hand, carry her over to the couch.” Gwilym instructed, pointing to where Joe was sitting.
Ben shook his head gently, “She can have the spare room, I’ll be on the couch tonight.”
“To the back room, then.” Gwil nodded with a small smile, following behind the two as they walked down the short hallway.
Once in the darkened room, Lucy turned on a small lamp and Gwilym put one arm behind Casey’s back and put on on her head as Ben crouched down until her behind was on the edge of the bed and unwrapped her arms from around his neck. Casey made small noises that Ben shushed away softly. Pulling the hat from her head, Gwilym brushed a stray hair from her face. “Lucy, all you now.” Ben whispered backing out of the room, Gwilym close behind.
After the phone call, Lucy had taken a cab back to her house to get clothes for Casey, knowing that she would be soaked to the bone. When she grabbed the stack of thick warm pajamas and walked over to where Casey slept, she spoke softly. “Casey? Honey? I don’t know if you can hear me babe, but it’s just me, Lucy.” She ghosted her hand over the sleeping woman’s face gently. “Please don’t be afraid sweetheart, I’m just going to change you into some clean warm clothes, ok?” Casey made a small noise, to which Lucy assumed was compliance. She assumed right because Casey moved slightly just enough to assist Lucy in her re-dressing. When she pulled back the covers, Casey rolled right into the open spot and burrowed into the pillow. Lucy gave her a small smile and ran her hand over the woman’s cheek again. “Goodnight, love.”
“Joe, come on. You saw her, she’s not in a good spot right now.” Ben pleaded to the man, but Joe had his hands crossed over his chest.
“And who’s fault is that.” Joe grumbled back, not making eye contact with his friend.
“Yes, Joe, I know. I fucked up, ok? But I found her and she’s safe now, isn’t that what matters right now?” Ben threw his hands in the air, careful to not raise his voice too loud. Joe on the other hand, seemed to have no qualms about it.
“No, Ben. You don’t know. You have no fucking clue.” through gritted teeth, Joe stood up, showing his height difference with the blond man. “You can’t begin to imagine how badly you’ve fucked up this time.” His voice got louder and Gwilym stood up raising his hand. “DON’T!” Joe’s gaze flickered to Gwil, who put his hands up in defense. “Everything that happened today is YOUR FAULT!” Joe screamed at Ben and everyone turned quickly when they heard a whimper coming from the hallway.
“Casey.” Gwilym breathed out, rubbing his hand over his face before rushing to the girl.
“Oh fuck, Case..” Joe started to take a step towards her, and his heart shattered into pieces when she flinched away, cowering behind Gwilym’s tall frame. “Oh, Casey, no. Please. You know I wouldn’t hurt you.” Joe’s voice broke at the look his best friend was giving him. He had scared her. “Casey..” He breathed out and reached for her again, she still pulled away.
“It’s not his fault.” She whispered, so softly. Everyone in the room was silent and Ben’s head picked up quickly at the sound of her small voice. His heart hurt for everything that he has caused, she was being kind when she said it wasn’t his fault, of course it was his fault. “It’s John’s fault. He took away my voice for so long that I couldn’t stand up for myself this morning.” She sniffled slightly, Gwilym’s hand rubbing her shoulders gently. “I don’t blame Ben.”
Ben smiled instantly at his name falling from her lips. This was the first time she had said it all evening.
“Do you want some tea, love?” Lucy stepped towards her, putting her hand on the girl’s shoulder, earning a soft smile from her. “How about I start you a nice shower and Gwilym and Ben can start your tea?” Lucy looked at the boys and they all nodded knowingly. Give them space, her look read.
Casey nodded and the three of them left the room, leaving Joe and Casey together. “Casey-” Joe started but was cut off when she ran to him quickly and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Case, I’m so sorry.” He wrapped his arms around her small frame. “So fucking sorry.”
“It’ll be alright Joe.” She whispered into his chest. “I have a question..” Barely lifting her head off of his chest.
“Of course you can stay here, Casey.” Joe answered her question before she could even ask, earning a giggle from the woman. “As long as you want.”
“Casey, come on! We gotta get going, love!” A voice shouted from the kitchen, filling up two travel mugs of hot coffee.
“Be right out!” Casey hollered back through the closed bathroom door. “Alright now, love, I need you to be on your best behavior today, ok?” Casey smiled down at her daughter who was standing on the closed toilet lid, Casey’s hands wrapping tiny rubber bands in the child’s hair. “Sophia, I mean it,” She scolded lightly, seeing the grin on her daughter’s face. “Best behavior, and maybe you get a treat when we get home.” Casey raised her head in a challenge.
“I promith, momma.” Sophie smiled at her mother. Two missing front teeth had caused a pretty intense lisp and Casey couldn’t help but laugh. Putting the last band in the blonde hair, she kissed the top of the girls head as she patted her backside lightly.
“Down you go little one.” Sophie looked up at her mother, still standing on the toilet lid, raising her arms to her. “Momma’s back is hurting real bad today, baby, just jump down.” Casey rubbed her hand on her lower back, arching slightly with a groan.
Sophie jumped down with a sigh and looked up again. “Is brother punching you again?” Her small hand found itself rubbing at Casey’s swollen stomach. Casey put her hand over Sophie’s and smiled down at her with a nod.
“Kicking, sweetheart, and yes he is. Your brother is very active today.”
“Be nice to mommy, brother!” Sophie shouted at the large bump. “No more kicking momma!”
Casey laughed at her fondly, patting her head. “All better, thank you baby.”
“Thank goodness we are having a boy,” Joe spoke from the doorway, “You two already take so long to get ready.” He smiled at them both. “People will start telling us to get there earlier just so we will be on time.” Sophie stuck her tongue out at the man and he did the same back, earning a giggle.
“Be nice to mommy, daddy.” She repeated the same words, looking at Joe with a little smirk. Casey’s heart soared at the word. The past few months, Sophie had slipped up a few times and called Joe dad or daddy, but now it seemed she was doing it more and more, maybe even on purpose.
Since the night Ben carried her to Joe’s, Casey has lived here. Joe told her that she could stay for as long as she wanted, and she wanted to stay forever. It was just over a year ago, the first time that Joe and Casey had spoken of the growing feelings. Casey was the one to lean over and quickly leave a kiss on Joe’s surprised mouth, but after that, they both jumped in feet first. Joe had helped Casey get another hearing for custody and now with a steady place to stay, and a brand new job, Sophie was taken away from her father’s abusive grips and placed lovingly into the spare room. Joe had gone overboard with decorating for the child, but seeing the look on Sophie’s face when she saw her new bedroom, was worth every cent.
Seven months ago, Casey called Joe and encouraged him to come home as soon as possible, and fearing the worst, Joe had sped home quickly. When he burst through the door, Casey was on him in seconds, arms wrapped around his neck. At his insistence, she breathlessly handed Joe a small white plastic stick. Two little pink lines could be seen through the small window. Joe stared at the piece of plastic for what seemed like forever, face unreadable, and Casey started to worry, but when his eyes flicked back to meet hers, his lips pulled back into a grin.
“We’re gonna have a baby?” He asked her softly.
“We’re gonna have a baby!” She squealed.
They quickly started looking for a new home for their growing family, but having no luck, they had decided to just set up the crib in their bedroom, fully put together and filled to the brim with the gifts that had already been piled on by their friends. Ben and Casey had quickly become friends, and Ben doted on his new ‘niece’ shamelessly, and Sophie loved every second of it. She knew that he would also spoil the new baby and the thought of it made her smile. Had it not been for that terrible day, so long ago, Casey would have had such a different life.
