#building me

[frecklesandall]

September 21st, 2019

I haven’t written in a long time. But life has been changing and changed so much since I have written anything.

I got a new job: benefits, full time, high pay, and appreciated field.

E bought me a new car and I have been driving by myself.

My popa passed away and we had an ashes ceremony.

Visiting and spending time with friends and family.

E got a new job with benefits and good pay doing what he loves.

As of right now, I’m happy and working on my life goals.

[frecklesandall]

Selfies for love:

My bangs make me look so pretty.

My hair is so long and beautiful.

My skin keeps moving forward to clearer and clearer.

I wore a t-shirt (which is happening more frequently/FINALLY) and it was white and fitting. (YAY FOR SIZE MEDIUM).

I feel so pretty lately.

[frecklesandall]

July 24th, 2019

The last couple of weeks I have been so busy I don’t have time for self-care and I have been stressed out. I need to get better at doing self-care, even small amounts. But impressively, I haven’t been overtly negative. I have had two nights where I had depression episodes but that’s it’s been a month almost. I’m very proud of myself because I’m dealing with so much on top of regular life stress.

I have been feeling happy through it all. I have done two girls nights with ladies from the base, I have seen lion king/toy story 4/yesterday with my sister and family, E has been attentive and sweet even asking about my needs to make sure I’m okay, made three new friends that seem legit, and making healthy choices.

Positivity for today:

Your mom will heal and not be in pain soon.

You will find time for house cleaning and chores.

You will pass your final course.

You will find a practicum.

You are beautiful, smart, sexy and have an amazing personality.

[sophisticated-dorkk]

i am in an era of knowing exactly what i want and being totally fine without it… i am in love with her again. deeply… but am not waiting... am building… i’ll keep showing up for my goals, my peace and the life am meant to lead… and if one day our paths fully cross again i’ll still be ready… if you're into it am into it... if not... kurwaaa… i’ll find her in the next life… and this time i’ll get it right… we’ll get it right

[johnnymcnasty]

I know the grieving will pass, I can still hear her giggle in the darkest corners of my heart. It feels like there's a knife in my chest and I can't remove it.

All in due time...

For now I'll allow my body to wander although my soul has no home.

[frecklesandall]

July 8th, 2019

Today was the first day of camp.. it went well but I feel like I did waaaay more than I should of for being out of ratio supervisor. Some of my staff members for lack of a better word... suck. They aren’t really up to stuff. But again it was the first day and some are fairly new, I will guide them and direct them best I can. 

I also got offered to have French classes paid for for the full-time daycare I was offered a job a while ago, I asked some questions and am considering it. I’m very nervous to leave my current job because I will miss the kids and some staff members, aka one: S. But I should do what’s best for me: which is full time with benefits, expanding my skills. 

Today was very productive and I'm hoping everyday this week can be as productive. 

Positivity for tonight:

Your partner loves you and is in love with you.

He wants to be with you.

He is faithful to you and always will be, there is no one else. 

You are beautiful, smart, funny, and a genuine human.

I’m proud of myself for staying so positive and it really is changing my life.