There's no mix of feelings worse than the stomach-turning cocktail of guilt and terror. Jinx is intimately familiar with how they make your mind and body seize up in fear, leaving you shaking and scattered, and more than anything else, desperate to escape them, even with the sick sensations coiling in your gut and your mind screaming that you'll never, ever be free.
It was worse when she was a kid. Nowadays, it's - well, she wouldn't say it's not a problem, but she's got a good thing going for her, and she's gotten by well enough up 'til now, so what's the big deal? People say she's crazy, but hey - better crazy than lazy. So she's "unstable" - who cares? Not Jinx. Besides, they won't be the ones laughing when they end up on the other end of the barrel of her gun!
...But it'd be a lie to claim she didn't hate them. The breakdowns, the voices, the blame - blah blah blah, it's always the same. The same pain. Too much to take, making her feel smaller than she's ever been... yet the torment she's feeling now - something about it is different today than it's ever been before.
She doesn't cry out or scream. While normally she'd be caught up in a frenzy of movement, like she wants to hide or run away, right now Jinx stands as still as a statue, frozen in place without making the slightest of sounds. She feels - exposed. Shocked, without knowing why. As if she's teetering on the edge of a cliff and terrified to fall... and even when she's approached, she doesn't move; only her eyes blinking erratically in an attempt to hold back tears.
Silco stands before her. But it feels like she's not really seeing him at all. And in the end... all she can manage to say is his name.
"...Silco?"
@thceye ( starter! )