Put a “∞” in my ask box and I’ll shuffle my music player combined character/RP playlists and give you my favorite lyric from the song that comes up.
Many are the days I've wanted to cease
Lay myself down and find some relief
Heavy is the head that gets no sleep
We carry our lives around in our memories
So take away this apathy
And bury it before it buries me
— Cold Is the Night by The Oh Hellos (full lyrics)
This song made it onto a playlist because I connect it with Cain Locke (played by @ever-searching) and particularly a recent arc about the companionship between him and Zhah'ra.
However, these specific lyrics are my favorite because they resonate with me on a personal level. Sleep struggles are a perennial issue for me, and the quality and length of my sleep directly affect both my mood and my emotional resilience. When I am sleep-deprived, I grow fragile and self-isolating, and that can go to some pretty dark places if it goes on long enough.
In spite of its melancholy tone, I find this song deeply calming and reassuring because it is about reaching out for connection. (A pretty big theme for Cain and Zhah'ra, I think!)
Another Mog Station Trade! This one’s for Menord @ever-searching, of their midlander Cain Locke - known for many things, among them the regular partaking of coffee! I tried to capture the version of him that I’ve seen at the hole-in-the-wall restaurant both our characters frequent.
You too can get a sketch with dynamic colouring in this style (or a variety of other things!) through my Mog Station Trades!
🌸 - since the meme has flower as its icon, how about Flower/Zhah'ra listing three things he likes about either Cain or Merces? (Any other combination is fine too, of course)
Send 🌸 for three things my muse likes about yours.
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Merces Ninthstar
🌳 “The first impression I had of Merces was -- well. Impressive competence, really. But without any arrogance at all -- unusual for a swordsman, at least in my experience. Needless to say, I’m glad he happened along when he did, or Cain and I would have been in very deep trouble, trying to tangle with a morbol. I feel safer with him around, just in general.”
🥦 “He’s pretty straightforward, and courteous in the bargain, which I appreciate. I wouldn’t go so far as to say ‘what you see is what you get,’ though. And, really,” Zhah’ra adds with a smile, “I don’t understand why anyone would say he has no sense of humor as though that’s a bad thing. It’s not like he’s sour. Just serious.”
🍃 Zhah’ra tilts his head, sifting through his thoughts for a third. “He is... adaptable?”
It’s not quite the word he’s looking for, so he tries again. “He seems willing to do whatever is needed - again, with none of the pride you sometimes see among people who have honed a particular set of skills. He seems equally as content chopping tomatoes or hauling scrap wood as he is being on guard duty.”
A frown flits across Zhah’ra’s face, tugging his ears down for a moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him express an opinion about anything he’s been asked to do, come to think of it. Perhaps he’s just tight-lipped about it. No one can accuse him of complaining, at least...”
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Cain Locke
🍕 “It’s been so good to see him come further into his own as a mage and an adventurer - and to have others recognize it, too.” Zhah’ra smiles. “It’s been a long road. He’s headed for his ambitions, and I’m happy to see it.”
☔ “I...” Zhah’ra’s voice catches just a little. “I appreciate how unflappable he is. It’s hard to describe. It’s not apathy, and it’s not always cynicism. But he’s handled some... some difficult things with me without... I don’t know.” Zhah’ra chews on his lip for a moment. “Without... being disturbed, or shocked. I don’t--” Zhah’ra looks down at his hands, fingers tangling in the ends of his sleeves. “--I didn’t have to comfort him about it. I... sorry,” he says thickly, dashing his arm across his eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t -- excuse me.”
He turns away for a brief moment, hands pressed into his eyes until he can turn back around and smile without wobbling.
🍐 Zhah’ra shrugs a little, his expression growing fond. “I love how he still -- still! -- gets this look of surprise on his face whenever I headbutt his arm or bump my shoulder into his. I know he’s always been chary of any kind of touch, so I’m... careful. But sometimes he returns the gesture, and...” A chuckle. “I bet I get that same look on my face, too.”
🌺 (hibiscus headcanon/preconception): Zhah'ra and Flower probably tend to be acquainted/friends with different people, and he usually prefers to keep them apart. When the two groups get blended (Flower's acquaintances meet Zhah'ra or vice versa), it can be a bit jarring for him. (I can't remember if we've actually talked about this before, but I though I'd check the headcanon nevertheless.)
Right on the money. 9/10
The only thing you’ve missed? As Flower, he prefers to keep all of his acquaintances separate from each other, as well -- both for confidentiality reasons and for “maintaining illusions of specialness” reasons -- as well as because, well... part of his strategy has always been to subtly mold himself to fit each client’s expectations.
This was the most difficult thing about living and working in the Reach -- it was a much smaller community (and space) compared to Ul’dah, and so the same people he ran into when going to buy necessities would also show up at his tent as clients. People expected him to be the same in both places, at least to a certain extent, and so “Flower” collapsed into one, relatively-consistent persona -- and one much closer to his native way of being than he had been in his work in Ul’dah. He went by it everywhere, just about -- in part because that was the name under which he had crossed the Wall, and in part because otherwise there was no way to avoid cross-pollination.
Cain was one of the few people there who knew him as himself, though Cain would also have gotten to know Zhah’ra-as-Flower a bit, in the process. (Though, funnily -- Cain actually met Flower first, kind of! Waaaay back when at Stellazzio Pizzeria.)
🌺 Tell me a preconception/headcanon you have for one of my characters and I’ll rate it out of 10.
∞ (Cain, but you can choose which muse gets to tell their opinion)
Random Alt Picker sez: Renan and Zhah’ra
(…Random Alt Picker is taking it easy on me, lol.)
Under a cut ‘cause long.
Renan’s opinion on Cain:
If I Think They Are: Ugly || Plain || Alright || Cute || Freaking Adorable || Pretty || Beautiful || Hot || Stunning
“Nice-looking! Easy to agree on this.”
If I Would Go On A Date With Them: Not even if we were the last two one earth || No || Maybe || Eh….Sure || Yes || WILL YOU MARRY ME
“Cain seems like… not one for dates?” Renan chuckles, gesturing at themselves. “Not one for dates, either. Would ply with coffee, even so.”
If I Trust Them: Not At All || Not Really || Kind of || Yes || With My Life
“Trusted by Zhah’ra, need to know nothing more.”
If I Care About Them: Not At All || Not Really || Kind of || Yes || Deeply
“Same answer: important to Zhah’ra, therefore. Relationships not always transitive, but this one, yes.”
If I Would Sleep With Them: Not Enough Alcohol in the World || No || Maybe if I were wasted || Maybe || Eh…Sure || Yes || TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF NOW!
Renan shrugs a little uncomfortably, their bright demeanor dimming. “Ah… would require… conversations, first. Mm.”
My Comfort Level With Your Muse: Keep a Distance || Okay You Can Stand There, But Don’t Touch Me || Let’s Get Coffee and Talk || Let’s Cuddle || I Can Change In Front of You || Let’s Take a Bath Together
“Yes, as said: ply with coffee!” Their grin is back. “Easy to be at ease with in general, this one. Seems… accepting? Even-keeled.” A thoughtful nod.
If I See You As: A Stranger || An Acquaintance || A Friend || A Close Friend || My Best Friend || A Crush || The Love of My Life
“Met… once? twice? Too few meetings. Should visit, maybe!”
Zhah’ra’s opinion on Cain:
If I Think They Are: Ugly || Plain || Alright || Cute || Freaking Adorable || Pretty || Beautiful || Hot || Stunning
Zhah’ra grins. “I mean. I can’t lie – he’s got very nice bone structure.”
If I Would Go On A Date With Them: Not even if we were the last two one earth || No || Maybe || Eh….Sure || Yes || WILL YOU MARRY ME
“A date? I don’t really see that happening.” Zhah’ra grimaces, then quickly corrects. “Oh! No, I mean, I wouldn’t… mind? But it would be a strange thing to have happen, after all this. That’s all.” He chuckles. “Truth be told, in a way I’m glad it hasn’t come up?”
If I Trust Them: Not At All || Not Really || Kind of || Yes || With My Life
Zhah’ra’s tone is one hundred percent serious: “Yes, absolutely. And with things worth more than my life.”
If I Care About Them: Not At All || Not Really || Kind of || Yes || Deeply
“Without question,” he says quietly, his expression fierce.
If I Would Sleep With Them: Not Enough Alcohol in the World || No || Maybe if I were wasted || Maybe || Eh…Sure || Yes || TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF NOW!
Zhah’ra’s face takes on a questioning look. “Ah… that is… hard to imagine? At least in the euphemistic sense. In a literal sense, yes! I just know now not to get up in the middle of the night. But I feel comfortable with him nearby.” He sighs a little, smiling ruefully. “He seems to sleep much better alone, though, so, there’s little sense in aiming for it.”
My Comfort Level With Your Muse: Keep a Distance || Okay You Can Stand There, But Don’t Touch Me || Let’s Get Coffee and Talk || Let’s Cuddle || I Can Change In Front of You || Let’s Take a Bath Together
Zhah’ra laughs. “’Getting coffee and talking’ might as well be our whole friendship, except I’d rather have tea, of course. ‘Warm drink and talking,’ though, that’s us. I like it!”
If I See You As: A Stranger || An Acquaintance || A Friend || A Close Friend || My Best Friend || A Crush || The Love of My Life
“We’ve gone a long way together,” Zhah’ra says with a quiet smile. “I’m glad we’re friends.”
Ö ('what your character finds most appealing in my character's appearance' meme) - Zhah'ra for any character you'd like
Zhah’ra is caught a little off-guard. He pauses with his jewelry roll spread over his knees. “His eyes often catch my attention, I’ll admit. Hazel, isn’t that the color?” He glances down to straighten a bracelet in its clips – then grins slowly. “And I like that red tattoo on his cheek, even if his hair usually hides it. It’s so unexpected and striking. Maybe I’ll ask him about it sometime.”
ღ (attraction meme: Zhah'ra (and/or Zedyr if you feel like it) about Cain)
Romantic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extremeSexual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extremeAesthetic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme Sensual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme
Zhah’ra grinned quietly. “There’s no denying Cain has a certain fineness to his features, though I haven’t had as much opportunity to talk with him as I’d like.
“Even so….” Zhah’ra leaned in, braids swinging as he tilted his head, his voice softening to a hesitant murmur. “It is… strange, but I feel comfortable around him, somehow. Easy. Surprising, perhaps, given how we met – I would have expected that to make it more awkward than it did, but he was very gracious – I think I worried him.
“Really, that’s strange enough in itself – I know that many wouldn’t have been so considerate.” He dropped his gaze, smiling a little. “He seems like the kind of person where, if he were a client, you’d secretly hope he ends up a regular.”
He sat up, straightening the hem of his tunic. “At the same time, I’m… glad he knows me as Zhah’ra, instead. Clients are clients – never friends.”
There isn’t a whole lot of tension there – more a kind of companionable quietude. They’re only barely not strangers, but already Zhah’ra has felt able to disclose more of his inner self to Cain than he usually does. Once they get to know each other more and spend more time talking, Zhah’ra’s feelings could easily warm up further across the board.
Romantic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extremeSexual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extremeAesthetic attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme Sensual attraction: none | very low | low | medium | high | very high | extreme
“Cain? Barely know him, but he seemed nice enough. Easy to talk to, even though he was standin’ off to the side all by himself at the parade – I wasn’t expectin’ to connect over growing up on the coast, but that was a nice moment, if, uh. Bittersweet, I s’pose.” Zedyr shifted uncomfortably, then shook his head, changing the topic slightly. “He seemed nervous, or – somethin’, couldn’t quite pin it down in the short time we were chatting. Uncomfortable. Wasn’t quite sure how to put him at ease – an’ I wish I could’ve done a better job of it.”
“’Course, now that I think on it some…” Zedyr reached up to smooth down his hair, frowning slightly. “I didn’t think we’d met before, but… somethin’ about him sure seemed familiar. I mean, you don’t see too many folks with hair like his, but I’ll be damned if I could remember where I might’ve run into him before.”
He chuckled at himself, shaking his head again as he glanced up. “You’d think I’d remember better. Hate to admit it, but midlanders tend to run together for me a bit, but he’s pretty – uh.” He smoothed down his hair again.
“Anyway, why do you ask?”
Zedyr wouldn’t say this out loud – especially since he barely knows Cain – but he finds Cain pretty good-looking! He is also definitely interested in getting to know him better. There isn’t really any physical chemistry right now – though Zedyr would cheerfully say yes if Cain asked, because why not? – but that’s a function of not knowing each other very well more than there being something getting in the way specifically.
It’s also worth noting that Zedyr’s default for “sexual attraction” is usually “medium” for everybody – and “romantic attraction” is also “very low” by default for everybody because he doesn’t really frame relationships in a way that matches up with what a “romantic relationship” looks like, traditionally.
