Send a ship and I’ll tell you who;
Gives nose/forehead kisses; Robert, half because he wants to touch, half because it’s amusing to annoy Caradoc.
Gets jealous the most; Caradoc. Does Robert have to flirt with every fucking moving thing within a kilometer?
Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive; Caradoc, begrudgingly, all while batting Robert’s hand away from him as he tries to do inappropriate things in the car.
Takes care of on sick days; Neither, beyond throwing a box of tissues at the other.
Drags the other person out into the water on beach day; Robert 100%, but it almost never works because Caradoc is fucking huge and can be scary when he wants to. Plus the threat of no fun time later makes Robert give up with a pout and offer to skinny dip.
Gives unprompted massages; Robert, he needs to touch, and even though Caradoc will often try to shrug him off or snap at him for his wandering hands, he’ll still do it.
Drives/rides shotgun; You think Caradoc is dumb enough to let Robert drive him?
Brings the other lunch at work; Robert, mainly because he just wants to see Caradoc. But it very rarely happens, because the effects the dementors have on him... lets just say, he’s got a lot more respect for Caradoc not being insane at this point.
Has the better parental relationship; Robert, and his parents bring Caradoc into their lives with open arms, his mum often fussing over him, thinking they’re best friends. Both are happy to play along with this, even if Caradoc doesn’t know how to deal with happy parents.
Embarrassingly drunk dancer; Both think the other is, and Caradoc usually wins this battle simply because Robert dances more.
Still cries watching Titanic; Robert, who is convinced afterwards that the dementors have actually sucked Caradoc’s soul out.
Firmly believes in couples costumes; Neither, though Robert teases about it just to annoy Caradoc.
Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas; Again, neither. Being together is free, well except for the toll it takes on Caradoc’s sanity.
Makes the other eat breakfast; Robert, who after awhile genuinely starts to worry about the impacts the dementors might be having on Caradoc.
Remembers anniversaries; Caradoc, though he doesn’t say anything, there’s a definite rise in emotion during bed time that night.
Brings up having kids; Neither. Both are content with just being together, besides. it’s not as if two blokes can exactly have children.