#cerys talks

[cerysdelaney]

I’m about to get hit dead on by Milton and I can’t help but consider Paradise Lost.

[cerysdelaney]

Came from twitter, I love your toritale fic!! I don't remember the last time I loved a fic this much whoag

💜

Thank you. The Toritale love is really helping me somehow find the time to write through the commissions I have. It just takes time. I’m not fast. I’m dyslexic, but I love words. It’s a complicated relationship.

[cerysdelaney]

Intention

At the last BDSM/Kink Lesson, we discussed the importance of setting an intention.

What do you want from this experience?

I think, too many times, people go in blind as they’re interacting with a person. They think everything has to be on “instinct” or “feeling.” But clear communication is much more appealing and effective!

I also find it’s much more pleasurable to feel listened to. I can enjoy myself more in whatever I’m doing with a set clear boundaries and intentions.

[cerysdelaney]

I started a 2nd job!

Okay, more like a 4th job if you count the random side gigs I do for this or that.

Anyway, groceries have been really high, and I’ve been super anxious. So I got a remote work job that I can do in the wee hours of the night to make just enough to cover those groceries.

I don’t sleep a lot. I’ve taken up the time I write with this one. BUT I’ll soon have an opening to write again about Mid May. So bear with me a few more weeks.

You’ll still see little stories pop up here and there. I have the last chapter to Beyond Bones to finish. A Sequel to Horrific Fate to write up (it’s been outlined!). So lots of fun things over the summer to enjoy. Just gotta get through the next month. 💪

[cerysdelaney]

Hello friend. Wanted to check in and say hi. Hope you've been well! ❤️

Aw 💜 I’ve been well but busy. My daughter has also been having a difficult time sticking to her sleep schedule; so that has significantly impacted my writing (I always write after she goes to bed). But we’ll figure it out ^_^ We always do. And then ya’ll will get some wonderful content - and some horrifying content *cackles*

How are you doing? I’m still loving your blog and its vibes 💜

[cerysdelaney]

Finishing a Story Even If the Fandom has Moves On

So I *know* the Undertale fandom is not nearly where it was ten years ago. And I *know* Tumblr is not the social media platform it was 10 years ago. But I have yet to find another game that rings into my core like Undertale did. And I have yet to find a social media platform that functions as anonymously, disfunctionally honest as Tumblr.

So, yes, I’m finishing stories started 7 years ago. And yes, I’m posting about them on Tumblr. And, no, I am not getting the burst of readers the minute I publish. And, no, I am not getting the engagement I used to when I post.

And yes, I know I’m mostly talking to air, even now.

But it’s no less satisfying to finish these stories, because I didn’t write them for likes, comments, or engagement. I just wrote them for me. And my hiatuses over the years have been real life personal journeys, but these characters have been living in my mind the whole time. Their stories deserve to have endings; and honestly, I don’t think they’ll ever let me rest until I do. And I need space in my brain for other plots and stories. So I need to finish the houses for my original tales.

And I like the continuity of Tumblr as a blog. I’ve always like the blog style and have never been a fan of posts with word counts; rooms of endless single lined chats or memes; and image-centric platforms. I’m a writer. And as far as I can see, Tumblr is made for writers who need anonymity away from the Metaverse.

And I’m just going to be in this world. I’m going to write what I love. And I’m going to blog about it. I started writing and blogging in the Void and it’s fitting to continue doing so with anyone else still traveling here. Cause if you are here, you’re more like me than anyone else in this giant mediaverse. And if you’re reading this, “hello ^_^”

[cerysdelaney]

Hello 🙂 Just wanted to say hi and check in. Hope you've been well lately ❤️

Honestly? I’m currently trying to do 36 hours of work in 24. My husband had hernia surgery (and we didn’t have insurance) so it took out all our savings.

- But I’m not complaining. I feel fortunate that I had the money. Now I just have to work twice as much to rebuild that savings.

AND I’m doing it in a sustainable way. 💜 We may not rebuild as fast, but I’m still allowing myself to get a massage every month and get structural integration work. I go to free yoga sessions run by one of my coworkers who’s currently training to be a yogi. I allow myself one night a month to go to the dark temple and learn more about bdsm/kink. I take nights to hang out with friends. And, of course, I make sure to spend quality time with my daughter (nonverbal, now preverbal autistic - she’s starting to say words, ya’ll, and interacting 🥰 My heart is so full).

I’m still writing, albeit some days it’s only for 15 min, but I’m encouraged by keeping up with it. I’m not taking commissions cause right now I’m actually finishing one about a radiologist with skeleton husbands (expect chapters of that deliciousness out soon) and about to start another that’s the sequel to Horrortale (a very different type of deliciousness).

I wish I could sustain myself on getting commissions, but I have to be realistic: I’m dyslexic, ADHD, Autistic and I have a family I need to provide for (and currently in a very well paying job I’ve put in over a decade of my life to reach). I don’t write fast. I never have. This post right here will take me 20 min - yeah, I know “WHAT?!?” But I spend a lot of time thinking about my words, and I like to think that’s why people like my writing ^_^ It’s why I like my writing. I re-read my stuff all the time, and I’m like, “fuck yes.” I love it. And I love that you all love it.

- This was probably not the response you were expecting. But I do want to tell you again that your blog truly is a wonderful bright spot. I have used it now more than once this week to unwind and take a 15 min break from the whirlwind of my busy but happy life. Thank you. 💜

[cerysdelaney]

Ever meet someone whose life would be so much better if they just let go of the gender roles holding them back?

I just had lunch with a friend who, for the last five years, has been in the same place: boyfriend she loves. He hasn’t asked her to marry him. She wants marriage, kids, the whole thing - can’t ask cause she’s the woman 🤨

So she’s now 8 years with this guy. And living in what I’m seeing as a self-imposed stagnation because he won’t ask…

How much of your life are you willing to put on hold for someone else to maybe do something?

If he’s known for the last 5 years of this relationship that marriage is wanted and he’s not giving it - maybe he can’t. Why won’t he? She won’t ask. 5 years of not asking? This lack of communication is a red flag, and I *know* having a conversation that could potentially end something you’ve been a part of for 8 years isn’t easy… but she’s not getting happier… what do you get in the end of this that isn’t regret?

Why would you let one person decide your happiness? Write your story? As a woman will you just wait until a man takes the lead? Your wants and desires on the back burner until he decides? If he decides.

I find that hard to accept. 3 years in a relationship with my boyfriend, I asked him to marry me and he said yes. 6 months later we were married. 12 years together now.

And you know, I was shaking asking him. We’d been living together for two years at this point, but let’s be real - there’s a difference from living together and formally making a commitment together (however that commitment is done. Marriage is just one way. I wanted -and had the option available - a legal commitment with tax breaks and what not.) But that’s what I wanted and if he didn’t want that too after 3 years together, then we weren’t compatible enough for a commitment. Because, honestly, I knew after 2 years - but it took me a year to get the courage to ask because I knew he was fine where we were at. He was comfortable just being with me, but I… I wanted more. And since I’m the one who wanted to take us to another level of commitment, I asked.

And he said yes. Because it was important to me, and it still meant he could be by my side, which is what he wanted. Match.

(What if he’d said no?!? Then we weren’t a match. My courage to ask was my declaration to move forward on a path I wanted to go. If he had said no without a timeline of his own to present as an alternative, how long would I wait at that intersection? If he didn’t want to be tied to me in marriage, why would I tie my path to him and sit where I didn’t want to be?)

I’ve had more than one woman in my life say they could never ask. Or some men would feel emasculated by the woman asking… I am so glad my husband doesn’t gauge his masculinity on how dependent his wife is of his decisions. In fact, I don’t think he ever measures his masculinity at all. What does that even really mean? He cooks. He cleans. He’s a stay at home dad. He’s 6’2”, extremely hirsute (a word he taught me - fucking love a human with a vocabulary). He has a dick so large he can readjust my insides any time he wants to - which isn’t often since he’s ace, but that’s okay 😊

We’re partners. We want to grow together and support each other. What does it matter who proposes? The point is the conversation is started and we moved forward. Gender roles be damned. We set our own roles in our house.