awkward, table for two? | miles & willow
LOCATION: a local restaurant. PARTIES: @mftillerman and @willcwthewisp. SUMMARY: miles and willow reunite unexpectedly, and somewhat painfully.
Willow had left her grocery shopping too late. The store was always like a minefield for her nowadays, an anxious dance doding the people that didn’t know how to drive their shopping carts, and the toddlers who hadn’t yet learned the concept of a personal bubble. God, what if she threw a toddler? They were so little, there was no telling what would happen if she accidentally tossed one into the frozen food section. Just the thought of it almost made her stay for the night, nearly determined to have a nice helping of hunger for dinner. But she was supposed to get up early for her telemarketing job tomorrow, and most likely wouldn’t have time for breakfast then. Which meant she had to eat something tonight or starve for the next 18 hours or so. Fine. Fine. With a healthy helping of dread in her stomach, Willow pulled up to one of the fastest restaurants in town, rather renowned for their speedy preparation times. She’d already called in the order to minimize any waiting in public she might have to do, but it seemed that there was still a few minutes to wait as she told her name to the cashier. With a sigh, she deposited herself in the farthest corner of the waiting area, folding her arms in front of herself under her chest as if they could act as some sort of barrier while she stubbornly looked to the ground. Hopefully if she didn’t make eye contact with anyone, everyone would just leave her alone.
Miles hadn’t cooked anything more than a bagel in his kitchen since he moved into the family house. He could cook, and when he had free time would whip something up, but lately he very rarely had free time. Luckily for him, he had developed pretty good relationships with various restaurants around town. He didn’t always get discounts, but he did usually get real quick service which was always appreciated. After a long day that wasn’t even over yet, he decided to stop by one of the places that was close to work. When he got there, he said hello to the hostess and then headed back towards the kitchen. Benefit of being friends with the cook. He chatted with them for a while as he cooked up something for Miles, then he headed back out to the front lobby to pay. On his way from the kitchen someone caught his eye but at first he ignored it. He met so many people around town it wasn’t abnormal to recognize someone. After he paid and turned towards the woman again, it hit him. “Willow?” After hardly thinking about her in the past two decades she was suddenly popping up in his life twice in one day.
Willow’s brow was furled together as she tried her best to smash the Candy Crush level she’d been stuck on for most of the day, bottom lip nestled gently between her teeth as pure concentration gripped her. But in the middle of her game that determination was broken, nerves already taking hold as she heard her name before she’d even processed who it was that was calling it. If someone recognized her then they’d want to talk. And if they wanted to talk they’d probably get within touching distance. It didn’t help that as she looked up a familiar face was greeting her- though it was...changed from exactly how she remembered it. Miles was much more filled out than she recalled, like someone had gone back in on his eighteen-year-old frame and finally decided to add the finishing and distinguishing touches. And unfortunately...those finishing touches made him even more handsome than her twelve-year-old self could have even begun to think to sketch into her silly preteen journal. Her mouth popped open in a way that was nearly comical, shock taking over her features as the game on her phone continued on, wholly forgotten. “Miles?” Already she could feel a familiar heat trying to find its way to her cheeks, a habit that apparently hadn’t died in her youth. “I- what are you doing here? I mean- hi! Ah- you came here for food, too?”
Growing up, Miles was over at the Finch’s house all the time. Willow’s brother was by far his best friend, so he had gotten to know the entire Finch family very well. He’d always pretty jealous of the sibling dynamics he never had himself. He had distinct memories of Willow, back when they were both mere kids. Despite that, he almost didn’t recognize her. She had really grown up… a lot. He had never really thought about her as anything other than his friend’s awkward sister and now he was admittedly a bit embarrassed about how he was thinking about her. Thankfully she seemed a bit caught off guard too. “Twice in one day. You keeping tabs on me, Finch?” He smiled, hopefully making it clear that he was only joking, and took a few steps towards where she was standing. “Uh, yeah.” Miles held up his brown paper bag of take out as proof. “This place is great. And quick. And cheap. A trifecta really.” He wasn’t really sure why there felt like so much tension in the conversation already. Maybe the walk down memory lane meant more to him than it did to her, and he was just being a bother. “Are you waiting on someone or just waiting on food?”
For a moment Willow entirely forgot that she was meant to be listening to the words coming out of his mouth, and not just staring at him as her twelve-year-old self felt like it was begging to be released. This was ridiculous— she was thirty-two, now! Not some gawky girl who forgot how to speak every time her brother’s best friend came over. It felt like a thousand bees had been set loose in her stomach, trying to buzz their way out or die trying. As he stepped towards her she fult a dual rush of nerves and excitement, happy and eager to see him, but also intimidated by the fact that he was getting dangerously close to touching distance. “What? No! I’m not-” creepy. Or not an obsessed child anymore. Somehow she managed to stop those words before they surfaced, and took notice of the tease in his smile. Finally, she remembered to speak again- and thankfully it was an actual sentence that came out of her mouth. “I- well I mean you never- we didn’t finish talking about your credit.” She supposed the jilted joke was the best she could hope for while her mind felt like it was about to shatter. “Right- right, yeah! Quick, cheap, and the trifecta,” she repeated dumbly. Well- not all sentences could be winners. “Oh no- I’m just waiting for my food. What about you?”
Miles couldn’t help but wonder why, even after being back in town for years, he never tried to seriously reconnect with the Finch family. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, there had just been so much else going on. Taking care of his mom, then taking care of his dad, and trying to curate meaningful contributions to the paper. He just wasn’t very social like he used to be. But seeing Willow reminded him that it’s important to not isolate oneself too much. “Hey, in my defense I offered to keep talking about my credit. But yeah, same. Just picked up some food. I, uh, don’t often have a ton of time to cook. Hence take out.” Miles stood there awkwardly for a moment, wondering if he should move any closer to her while she waited until her food was ready or just stay where he was. He decided to stay where he was, mostly because he didn’t want to accidentally make her uncomfortable by standing too close. “You look really good.” The words came out before he could mentally proofread what he was saying. He was nearly positive that his face turned a deep shade of red, but he was hoping the scruff of his beard mostly covered it up. “Not that – I mean – not that I’m looking. I just mean, well… you, uh, look well. You look well.”
“You did, but I’d basically already clocked out for the lunch break- and this might surprise you a little, but I don’t usually want to talk about credit on that,” Willow managed to get out another coherent, and arguably normal sentence. It actually made things easier if she focused just above his eyes instead of directly into them...even if she was curious to see if their color had changed from the almost startling blue she remembered from when she was younger. God- how many times had she tried to get the exact color match of it down in her sketchbook when she’d been twelve? Just thinking about it made her want to dissolve into a puddle of absolute embarrassment. And just like that the uneven energy of feeling like a gangly little kid was back. “Oh yeah- that’s fair. I mean- I just forgot to get more groceries so...here I am.” The words were paired with an awkward half-hearted flailing point of her arm in the general direction of the food window. As he commented on how good she looked, large, brown eyes widened before blinking in quick succession, and Willow swore she could practically hear a part of her brain short circuiting. But then he backtracked on his words, and did his best to clarify his motives. However it was already too late for Willow, and her own matching beet red cheeks were displaying themselves like flags on her face, with nothing for her to hide behind. “You mean I look...healthy?” she tried to say helpfully. That’s what he’d meant, right? “I mean you look- you look- well there’s your face- and- and well that’s your face, and the rest of you looks- and the arms-” For the love of all that was good in the world Willow begged her mouth to cease and desist in its words. “Good. Yeah- good.”
Miles almost took a moment to correct her on the timeline of events she offered up. Technically Miles was pretty sure he offered to talk about credit before she put him on hold to clock out. But it had been pointed out to him multiple times that nobody liked a know-it-all. “That’s fair. Gotta separate work and” pleasure was what he almost said, but that felt beyond wrong, “personal.” He hoped that was as seamless of a recovery as it felt like it was in his head. If she hadn’t just fully turned down his offer to grab lunch mere hours ago, Miles would have asked if she wanted to eat their take-out together. But after seeing her in person all of the relative ease he felt chatting with her on the phone had gone out the window. “Exactly!” he said a bit too enthusiastically, so grateful that she was helping out of the hole he had just dug he almost didn’t notice her blush. “Healthy.” Miles was about to just say goodbye and try not to put his foot in his mouth again when she started talking. The corners of his mouth twitched up into the smallest smile. “Do you mean I look healthy?” He weirdly hoped that she didn’t, cause that really wasn’t what he had meant. “You know, uh, I just realized… you’ve got my cell number but I’ve only got your work line.”
Willow’s head tilted curiously to the side as there was the smallest pause between his words, but thought little of it. Instead her smile was gaining the smallest ounce of confidence as her shoulders relaxed in the slightest. This was the easy part of their conversation. “Yeah- but sometimes I guess I can manage to mix both when a long-lost-” now it was her turn to hesitate. What exactly was she supposed to refer to Miles as? Her brother’s friend? Her friend? “-Miles shows up on my list.” There. That worked well enough. “Great! Yeah- I mean I have this really good chia seed smoothie that I make every morning usually. It’s uh- really healthy. And you know sometimes I do...yoga. Which is also healthy.” Why was she giving him a physical health lesson right now? “I just- well- I mean you do look healthy.” She could feel the blush beginning to spread down her neck as it did when things got truly dire in the embarrassment department, and if she wasn’t careful it’d go all the way down to her chest. “Healthy and- and good! Like you said I look really good!” That was safe enough, right? “Oh shoot- you’re right,” she said with a bit of a relieved chuckle, happy to move onto something that wasn’t related to exactly how good he looked. “Yeah- here I can give it to you. If you’re ready?” In this moment her childhood self was thriving. Miles Tillerman asking for her number? Did it get any better than that in the silly fantasies she’d made up in her head all those years ago? Carefully she reminded herself that it was most likely related to that lunch he wanted with her brother, and anxiously worried her lip while she waited for him to respond.
“A long-lost Miles, huh?” Miles laughed softly, “Nice to know I fall into my own custom category of people.” The longer the conversation went on, the more he wished that he had sat down next to her. Not because he wanted to be close to her - not that he didn’t not want to be close to her - just because he sort of wanted the conversation to keep going and there felt like a better chance at that if he wasn’t just awkwardly standing in front of her. “Yoga. Yeah, I’ve, uh, heard good things about yoga. Helps with flexibility.” He paused, feeling the awkwardness coming back. “Or, uh, I’ve heard. I’m sure there’s lots of health benefits.” Nothing about this conversation was going the way he wanted it to. For a professional writer, he felt like he was slowly losing his grasp on the english language. “But, yeah, for sure. We’re both, uhh… healthy. And both looking - er, both good. In general. Just general goodness.” Thankfully the conversation shifted, and Miles pulled out his cellphone so he could add her number in. Miles couldn’t help but wonder if he was being all too transparent. Couldn’t help but wonder if she was just being nice because he was her brother’s friend. “Yeah, uh, lemme just create a new contact entry.” He fumbled around with his phone for a moment trying to do it one-handed since his food was in the other one, then he looked back up at her with a smile, “Okay, ready.”
“Yeah- just way too out there to be confined to one single category,” Willow continued to tease gently. Nevertheless she nodded enthusiastically about the talk of yoga, seeing this as another aspect of their conversation that has little ability to go off the rails. “Mhm! I’ve definitely noticed that since I started a few years ago! I can almost get my leg behind my head now, and that wasn’t even barely an option before,” she finished with a light laugh, happy that yoga was a safe enough subject. “Have you tried it?” she asked politely, figuring that was as good a way as any to stay on this seemingly tame subject. “Both healthy with general goodness. Yep! That’s us.” Willow nodded with what was perhaps a little too much enthusiasm, overcompensating for the nerves that were still pooling in her stomach. “So we’ve already covered that you remember my name from the phone call earlier,” she began with a little grin. It was strange that they’d managed to run into each other twice in the same day, wasn’t it? She wasn’t complaining, though- even if she felt like she might spontaneously combust just standing here. “So you can put that in there.” Next she rattled off the string of numbers that made up her phone number. “And that’s it. Did you wanna uh- test it or whatever?”
Miles genuinely couldn’t tell if Willow was messing with him with all her… very descriptive talk about yoga or if it was just all in his head. But she seemed to really be into it, so he tried his hardest not to think too much into her telling him about her newfound flexibility. “Putting my legs behind my head… or yoga?” If he could take that back, he would. But it was too late, that very awful joke had already been said. “I mean, uh, no… to both.” Miles was kicking himself knowing this entire train wreck of a conversation was his fault. He just had to blab about how good she looked. She just was not the girl that he had remembered. But at least they had pivoted, sharing phone numbers was fine. That was a normal thing to do when you catch up with someone from your past, wasn't it. “Of course I remember your name. I think what’s far more impressive is that I remembered your voice.” After punching her name and number into his phone, he took her up on the suggestion to test it out. Technology wasn’t infallible after all. At first he thought about just sending an emoji, but then he remembered some article he had read about how seemingly innocent emoji’s have devious alternative meanings. That was a path he did not want to accidentally go down. So he just sent ‘hello’ with a smiley face. “So, yeah, ok. Just sent you a message. Hopefully that went through. And well, now you definitely have my number and not just on some call-list at work.”
Despite Miles' lack of confidence in his joke, Willow chuckled at it before giving her own answer. “No?” she teased in the slightest, trying to find some of the ease they’d eventually stumbled into while speaking on the phone earlier. “I can’t believe you’re not a yoga or leg behind the head guy.” As it turned out- the descriptive talk of her yoga abilities was entirely lost on her. “Honestly I still don’t know how you managed to recognize my voice,” she laughed lightly, a flicker of insecurity making itself known as there was worry as the basis to her next words, though she did her best to hide it. “I’d like to think that I don’t still sound like a twelve-year-old.” Sure— girls' voices didn’t change quite as much as boys’ did when they went through puberty, but there was certainly a more mature tone nowadays, even if it was still similar to her younger self. When she got his text she held up the phone for him to look at, as if showing off their shared success when his message showed up on her screen. “Got it!” The reality of the situation began to sink in, and she once again had to try and settle the nervous bubbles rising in her throat at the thought of having Miles Tillerman’s number. “Yeah! Yeah, exactly! Now you can just- you know- call me at any time. Or text me. Or- you know- other phone things!”
“Maybe you could teach me sometime.” As much as Miles wanted to keep talking to Willow, he was beginning to wish her food would be ready soon so he could stop saying really weird shit like that. God they just needed to get off the topic of yoga and what her legs could or couldn’t do. “Oh, not at all. You’re nothing like when you were twelve.” That sentence might have been okay, but given how the rest of the conversation had been going he honestly couldn’t tell anymore. “I think I recognized, I don’t know, your tone or something? Just felt familiar in like … a pleasant nostalgic way.” That was really the only way he could describe it, felt like a reminder of the freedom and ease he felt in his teenage years. Miles grinned when she showed him that the message went through. He didn’t really doubt that it would, but it was nice to see technology working for them. “Yeah, yeah. I will. Call. Or text. Or…” he briefly trailed off trying to think of what ‘other phone things’ would even be. “Well, that’s actually the extent of the things I know how to do on my phone. Except send an e-mail, but I don’t have your email address. Not that, I mean, I don’t need your e-mail address. I’m sure texting or calling will more than suffice.”
“Sure!” Willow agreed with an eager grin, always ready to teach people new things. That was...until she remembered that seeing more of people was exactly the opposite of what she was meant to be doing these days. What if they tried yoga, and she ended up throwing Miles across the studio? “Ah- I mean- if I get the time off work and stuff. You know how it is.” At least now she had confirmation that she didn’t sound like a child. “Oh, alright. That’s something I can live with, then,” she finished with an attempted chuckle. “I’m uh- glad you recognized me.” Her grin was still intact as he spoke of his phone, and she remembered something he’d said to her earlier that day. “This is probably why all the younger people are calling you old, Miles,” she managed to tease, still holding onto some of the confidence and comfort the conversation had granted her. Just then, her head jerked to the side as another person called her name, and she saw that the cashier was holding a bag out in her direction. Her food was ready. “Ah- well that’s...mine. I should- well I should go get that.” But she didn’t want to leave. Not when she’d finally gotten to actually see the face of someone she’d been talking, and bask in the warmth of shared and in-person conversation. How long had it been since she’d let herself slip like this? “Yeah...I should go,” she repeated, more as a reminder for herself than anything else. Back to her world of phone calls, and drawn curtains.
At first Miles got a bit worried when Willow was seemingly into the idea of teaching him how to do yoga, but thankfully he didn’t need to be too anxious about the idea because almost as quickly as she had offered to teach him she took the offer back. He didn’t have the slightest idea why she changed her mind so quickly but he had no intention of questioning it. “Yeah, I’m glad too.” Her comment about his age made him laugh a hearty genuine laugh. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, Finch. Go ahead, pile on. I know, I’m an old man.” Damn it felt good to laugh like that. The past few weeks since his dad passed had been heavy. It was hard to feel like running into Willow wasn’t kismet though. He had just lost his only living relative and now he was reconnecting with someone who had always felt like family. He was about to say something else when he heard the hostess call out Willow’s name. “Oh?” Miles wondered if the slight disappointment he felt was apparent on his face. The thought of going back to his empty house felt just a bit more difficult after seeing her. “Yeah, sure. I don’t wanna keep you from your plans. I’m glad we both decided to go to the same restaurant tonight.” Miles said with a smile, then reached out to place his hand on her shoulder as a friendly way to say goodbye.
Willow let herself savor these last few moments a little longer, trying to get as much in-person interaction as she could— as if she could store this in a bottle and save it for when she was back at home and unable to venture into the outside world for fear of causing harm. She’d try to take it out later, an attempt to relieve the joy of spending time with another person after spending so much time alone. But it wouldn’t be the same. Not without the warmth of the smile that was on Miles’ face. Still...it would have to be enough to get her by. “I’m sorry,” she reflexively apologized. “I wish I could stay and talk more- really, I do.” His hand coming towards her was unexpected, and it put her on red alert as her eyes widened in alarm. “No- no wait,” she began, panic rising in her chest as she was convinced that her telekinetic abilities were about to throw Miles across the room. This was exactly why she needed to get out of here. She’d spent too long indulging herself, and now someone was going to be hurt. Suddenly, a nearby stack of paper cups meant for coffee rose from their resting place, launching themselves directly for Miles head. In a moment they’d smacked into the side of him, leaving Willow to apologize furiously. “Sorry! Oh god, I’m so sorry!” Her hands waved uselessly in front of herself as she began her retreat. “Just..text me! Or call me!” she managed to say before darting over to retrieve her food, leaving the door of the restaurant swinging behind her as she fled. At least she hadn’t broken him.