#chloe shush

[hystericfae]

I yearn for the man that deems me a harlot for showing my achilles heel in a non-clinical and perverse manner

[adustoflove]

Sometimes it dawns on me that I'm gonna be a lonely old hag someday cause I suck at communicating with people and my entire family minus my grandma kicks Rocks

[myangelscrimson]

me talking to myself? sort of? I'm putting it under though cause it's hella long and I don't wanna bother anyone that follows me by accident

I keep seeing people say that not all narcissists are abusers, (true, I'm sure). I don't believe in the term narcissistic abuse either as it is stigmatizing and harmful, a lot of people with npd have also experienced a LOT OF abuse and I sympathize with that greatly.... however in my experience, I've seen that most people with npd....do in some way at least use the people around them. It's quite literally one of the criteria that's implied would happen when getting diagnosed with npd...is it not? A lot of the symptoms people with npd experience are in some way... probably going to hurt others, is what it seems to me? And because it's a pattern, which is why npd is a recognizable personality disorder at all...it's likely going to happen, again and again....?

I watched someone also explain that by letting people with narcissistic personality disorder continue to define the disorder themselves....they're technically just doing exactly what someone with npd is expected to do. Painting their own narrative as to how anyone who doesn't have npd should see narcissists. And while I think people of their own disorder should be able to tell you what their disorder is like, in my own experience....most of the time what someone with npd is saying....is unreliable, fabricated, not the truth or full truth....just completely dismissing something is even wrong...

Like I think I might have bpd, and I'd be absolutely crushed if someone said what I did/do was bpd abuse...but I can also acknowledge that yes, there are patterns associated with this disorder that can result in me being abusive to another person. So much so that it is well known by therapists who can detect the patterns and how I was even able to suspect that I possibly have bpd. Not that people don't absolutely suffer with symptoms of personality disorders as much as the people they love who watch them go through it....but it's not an excuse to say that personality disorders don't come with some symptoms that can/usually hurt others in some shape or form..?

I mean, I'm always up to learn more, and I do watch/listen to a lot of self aware narcissists because they really do seem helpful ....at least explaining the inner monologue or thought processes that go along with being a narcissist. I'm better able to understand my dad and what he might be thinking or feeling based on the experiences others share. I still struggle with feeling safe around people who tell me they have npd as I've experienced abuse at the hands of someone with it ...but I always try to hear every side of an argument because I'll never get anywhere just listening to my own.

[hystericfae]

and suddenly i wanna photo edit again ♡

[hystericfae]

I'll read just about anything as long as there's a pathetic man with long hair and a terrible personality

[hystericfae]

Thinking about him again. For my mental health

[hystericfae]

Side note about fictional men. Not enough people in western audiences know how to self-insert. I think the contrast is always so interesting because the western audiences see the MC as a character with her own life and audiences in Japan allow the character who is technically supposed to be a self insert or proxy....be so. The western audiences always try to defend the MC for being plain and boring instead of just saying well, she was written to be a self insert so like. Thattttt MIGHT be why. You're supposed to fill in the blanks.

But I really loved Cinderella Phenomenon and Taisho x Alice because the MCs have stand out personalities. I think if writers just made MCs a little more bold and a little more unhinged it'd be fun. Everything that fell out of Yurikas mouth was just ..... yes girl. You are so evil

[hystericfae]

SO, I finally feel like I have enough tattoos to do a tattoo tour!!!

My legs are .....somehow my prized possession. I take better care of them than my arms somehow, but....uhm.

I don't realllllly have a favorite. I love all of my tattoos, but I recently got the jackalope bun and plan to get heartthrob from Gen 1 mlp right above it ♡ I also don't regret any of them— and don't think I ever will?