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Shit girl, this saxophone war is fucked. I just saw a girl clap her hands together and say "the ten humidities" or some similar shit, and every one around her threw their reeds in the trash and started playing flutes instead. The camera didn't even go onto her, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting Bb major and level 2 Bozza Aria. I think I just heard "power word:Lauba" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

#wizard war #classical saxophone #my post #posts with no audience

I feel like I've seen quite a few posts talking about imposter syndrome and how it effects most people, in like a "dumber/ less qualified men than you have done it" kind of way. And this is true for almost everyone!

But I haven't really heard much discussion on here about how imposter syndrome effects musicians (specifically conservatorium students lets be real). Because I've had experiences where that anxiety voice was right! Sometimes you're not that good, and you sound bad!

It's a bit difficult when a lot of advice you've heard about a type of anxiety centres around that anxiety being irrational - when actually what you are being asked to play is beyond your current level and so your anxieties are being validated by real world failures.

Anyway what helped me was to sort of 'yes, and' that anxiety voice in my head. Like "yes, I am in this one moment unable to play x part" but really fast instead of spiralling I try to get in there with "AND SO I will remain patient with myself and go back to the absolute basics, practicing so that i can play it very slowly line by line (yes I only have 4 days until the concert, that is fine, I will pick just the most exposed parts first.)"

This type of thinking has helped me, because I was just shutting down whenever presented with the possibility that I'm not that good (& therefore what was I even doing there, who let me in to study here ect. Ect.) So accepting that FINE maybe I'm a bit shit actually! Has helped me actually work on areas where I do sound pretty bad, rather than avoiding them out of fear of... sounding bad. Like I'm going to sound bad either way! Also playing with intentionally terrible tone, like the worst I can make it, then sort of 'stepping backwards' until it sounds good has helped a lot in teaching me that it's not that serious & I'm allowed to make bad sounds (and actually it is imperative to make bad sounds if you want them to become better sounds).

Anyway this is really informed by our wind band having 3 week turn arounds for concert programs (which I've never been able to handle lol), and I got promoted to 1st for the first time and GENUINELY nearly had a nervous breakdown ahaha. ANYWAY it is infact possible to improve your playing! But not if you can't face your weak spots!

#i was also promoted to sop in sax ensemble (again lol) and handled it. badly.#musician #music major #erm #classical saxophone #music student #LOL i just learnt my major scales this summer (which is now for u northern hemisphere people) so its never too late HAHAHHAHA

I wrote this piece when I was 17, coming out of the closet into college. The Hardest Part was to wait until I could leave my hometown and start my life out in the open. Hope you enjoy~

#classical #saxophone #classical saxophone #gay #queer #art #queer art #queer joy #Spotify

Quarantine Practise Day 125!

Hiiiiiii pals! I've been squirreling away at practise the last week or two, but moving back home for Christmas and grappling with my new phone left me not making any recordings for a while. It does mean, however, I can now present you some rather wonderful progress! I purchased this piece just a few days ago and started working on it on Sunday (I only started trying the last two pages, as heard in the second clip, yesterday!) The piece is Gate by Graham Fitkin, and let me tell you I'm low-key obsessed! Upon first listening I was super intimidated and thought I genuinely wouldn't be able to hack it, but after just a few days work I've made quite some marvellous progress!! I was playing to a Spotify recording here to see if I could keep up with the original tempo, and although there are certainly many details yet to sort, I'm pretty proud of the progress 😌 I just hope I'll be able to perform this with a live pianist when my final recital rolls around, cause the piano part is very confusing 🥵

#classicalmusic #musiciansofinstagram #classicalmusician #saxophone #classicalsaxophone #voyage #viralvoyage #100daysofpractice #sopranosaxophone #hannahandthesaxes #practicediary #practicemakesperfect #selmer #grahamfitkin #day125