go on a rant about ultimate thor
I shall! This took a while to gather.
So it starts out with runes and a bunch of Nazi symbols ON THE VERY FIRST PAGE. This comic reinforces the incorrect notion that the Black Sun symbol is a Pagan symbol when IT IS NOT.
I do actually like the whole "People think it's all on Thor's head" aspect, but the rest of the writing is just convoluted and incoherent. I also find this factoid thrown around in an exchange a cool explanation of how Mjolnir works.
Dr.Donald Blake makes an appearance and he's not Thor's mortal alter ego created through Odin's magic to teach Thor humility.
We are shown interactions between a masked Nazi, "Baron Zemo" and the Nazis at Wewelsburg castle. Zemo shows them this little stones with runes, and they go on about how the Sacred texts of the "Poetic Edda" show how to use them. *facepalm* I just find this very lazy concept-wise.
Then we see flashbacks to "eons ago" in Asgard. Where Balder is fighting giants only to receive help from Loki and Thor. At some point Loki saves Thor from a Frost giant and warns him about watching his back, a rather heavy-handed foreshadowing. Loki also keeps going off about how Ragnarok is real and WILL HAPPEN. Balder mocks him for being grin and throws a snowball at him. Loki is worried about the constant war and attacks from Jotunheim. Balder reveals he knows Odin is building a secret weapon, Mjolnir, that he commissioned to the troll Ulik. It seems like Loki didn't get his lips sewn shut in this. And Loki has severe mommy issues that aren't explained very well.
Then we're sent back to Nazi Germany and are bombarded by magic mumbo-jumbo that I can't bring myself to care for. Something about opening a gate. The most unrealistic aspect is that the Nazis want to fight the Gods of Asgard despite the existence of white supremacist Norse pagan circles such as the Asatru and Odinists (unless it's Loki because they usually hate them).
Then, apparently they've allied with the Frost Giants, whom will be revealed to be under a peace treaty with Asgard that has harsh stipulations.
I actually liked how they use MRI to reveal Thor is actually a God.
So, the war with Jotunheim ends. I have trouble understanding the throne picture regarding "Who's who?" I think Farbauti is in the Moon throne with the Jotuns. I wonder if the other woman is Frigga/Freyja? Because unlike most comic book runs, Loki is actually biologically related to Thor as a half-brother. Odin (most likely through some threat) made Farbauti have Loki and had him reside in Asgard to "ensure peace". Which screams hostage situation. By the time the story takes place, Farbauti, Loki, and Loki's fully Frost giant brother are stuck in Asgard. Jotunheim's fall made Farbauti despondent and so Loki has mommy issues here and is driven by them to get Asgard to fall and earn his despondent mother's love. Also, for some reason Farbauti looks like an Asgardian with black hair. It's never explained WHY. Is this magic? Did Odin do this to her?
Also, Asgardians like to fight very scantily clad. I find it funny how Balder and Loki have color-coordinated underwear. And I think Thor was given the same as the W3 to show how "down-to-Earth" he is. LMAO. There's very bad and heavy-handed foreshadowing of Loki's betrayal again, when Loki decides to turn against Thor in the game, and Loki continues to warn in a ridiculously ominous manner about change and such (It gets so tiring...). Balder goes on a fatphobic rant towards Volstagg during the fighting games because the writer thought that was funny. I am surprised Balder won instead of Thor. But Balder proceeds to go off about how Thor is the only one that can lift Mjolnir in the typical praiseworthy fashion of these comics.
We go back to the Nazis and the alliance of the Jotuns with them. MORE MAGICAL BULLSHIT JARGON I HAVE TROUBLE CARING ABOUT.
Thor asks Odin about Mjolnir's power. I gotta say I REALLY hate Odin's design in this. And he spends a lot of time shirtless. In a break from tradition, Thor is already "the humble one" rather than an arrogant proud and violent prince that needs to learn humility. And that makes this even worse and feel preachy. Thor's appeal is that he doesn't start as a good guy.
The Nazis and Frost Giants open the bifrost gate. Heimdall appears and attacks them. Baron Zemo shoots an arrow through Heimdall's skull (seriously he's very good with arrows).
This is how the Odinson brothers are drawn in this series. Guess which one they made into a Nazi ? (a) Is it the brown-haired white dude that's not a "peace offering" and also a heir to Asgard's empire? (left) OR (b) Is it the one that's constantly referred as a "half-breed", was drawn with suspiciously Native American facial features, and who was born to his Jotun mother as a "peace offering"? (middle) OR (c) What about the guy that fits the exact "Aryan ideal" , is not a "peace offering", and is the preferred heir to Asgard?(right)
If you picked B, you're unfortunately correct. And Ta-Da! The twist we all saw coming from a mile away they tried to disguise by having Loki change his eye color to brown (odd choice for allying with Nazis)!
Then the Nazis, the half-breed Loki, and Frost giants partake in an antisemitic trope of blood-drinking the whitest mfs around to gain the superior Asgardian strength. And IDK this is the worst way to show you hate Nazis...
The art seems to be deteriorating. The Frost Giants and Nazis start Ragnarok, Odin comments that Loki's back from banishment. There's a flashback to Balder catching Loki looking at the stupid stones and Loki kills him. Balder for some reason is Odin's "all-seeing eye" has a weird connection to Odin.
The purpose of the facility Thor is being studied is eugenics.... and they're not the villains...
Thor goes off about his memories of the Asgardian Black sun and I need people to stop fomenting the myth that it's a pagan symbol. We go back to Asgard being attacked. Odin sends Loki to "a room with no doors." Loki is unrepentant for the evulz.
Odin is killed by an Ice Wolf who is in turn killed by Thor. And we have this sappy shit.
Then in another very badly executed twist and against comic tradition, it turns out tha Dr. Donald Blake was actually BALDER ALL ALONG.
Apparently Odin plans to remake Asgard. They go back to the lab and this guy trips me up because he looks like a beardless Thor in a lab coat. ¡Que cientifico tan mamadisimo!
They are studying Thor's harness and such. Trying to reverse engineer it and add more features. Only Thor can use it so that's why he's kept around. Then Thor asks them to make him a hammer. Then Thor goes around being a white savior, and gets offers from the US military because he's special enough to help in the army.
Oh and there's the masked Nazi again (Loki) and some other one fucking around with the stones again. Magic bs happens.
Loki makes the Hulk go apeshit and unites the Avengers in the typical fashion of the comics. Thor saves the day. Bleh bleh. THE END.