I was a Sophomore in college. I was with my friends, we were doing a lot of drugs.
Maybe I should end it there, maybe you already have the idea, but I can't escape my thoughts regardless. As much as I find them unlikely, the slightest likely hood that it is a possibility makes it impossible for me to definitively come to a conclusion over another, the cause of my impossibly endless cycle of insanity that ensues due to a lack of information to prove or disprove anything.
As much as I remind myself, "Stop it! You're being illogical! But... What if... A-and, [insert something that happened/idea/coincidence/hasty assumption/ethical dilemma/random possibility]! UGH! You know there are infinite possibilities out there, it is all simply inconclusive! All you can do is assume what you know and what you have observed to be the only truths!" And I'll start going over all the laws of the world that I understand. Not societal, governing laws, oh I'm so beyond those. But the laws of nature, our physical limitations, the way our world works, physics, our evolutionary history everything factual that we should understand about the world.
Now you might be wondering... What is throwing me so off if I know so well that I'm being illogical?
Well... Now we get back to the drugs. Honestly, I was a good, conservative*, kid in High School, safely snug in my dome of false securities, simple, shallow, narrow-minded views on life.
(not to be confused with Republican... And not to say I support Democrats or any kind of system generalizing individuals whom could have very little similarities, possibly even having more similarities in common with individuals involved in another category than in there own categorization, which politically, and socially I tend to avoid generalizing anything despite statistical averages, though I consider those, logically)*
For the most part anyways, Up until my late junior year I started smoking marijuana. I smoked irregularly and very lightly having never really getting that high in either my junior or senior year in high school.
Then I went to college, my Freshmen year I got in with a several cliches and groups of friends I felt mildly comfortable with. But eventually I met with someone I was familiar with from freshmen orientation, a session I had gone to only a few weeks before the school year had started. I ended up coming over to his dorm meeting his roommates and shortly have discovering our shared interests we formed a circle of friends and a beautiful story unfolds.
A story involving lots of drugs.
At first it was solely marijuana. I had lots of fun with it, we had great times, and I kept up with my school work, everything was great, despite my dad being sick.
There were many adventures that were had, great many laughs, ect. perhaps I can share some of these stories some time if they ever relate to any future posts.
Also, a very important girl had made an impact in my life at this time, we had gotten into a relationship and I absolutely loved her. Though the situation I find myself now hasn't really started by this time, these are all important details to know for the future.
In fact, the very phrase the haunts me rings through my head. Cursing all of my logical capabilities.
"Because he believed in another world." Sighed the man, coming to a sort of realization while looking over his shoulder at another.
And soon you will learn how this moment, this experience, surrounded by endless experiences that I can't even begin to articulate the content to you, but I will try regardless.
Whether I experienced the logical break down, destruction of the brain and its effects on the conscious state, my memory, or... Whatever else it could be...
Have created a beautiful dialogue in which I live under. An intricate orchestra, a beautiful complex orgy of independent thought, imagination, and borderline psychosis, and occasional indulgence of the obscure and un-explainable memories.
Sometimes my dreams add on to these experiences.
For everything I have gone through, I still have manged to find light of it all.
So please, come with me, and delve into my insanity with me.
