Perfect Reflection
He had noticed the him in the mirror. He was scared of the him in the mirror. So he made a deal- he made friends with the him in the mirror.
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Ao3 - Masterlist
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Perfect Reflection
He had noticed the him in the mirror.
He hadn’t intended to. For years he had ignored the mirror’s slight movements, its shifting gaze, it's knowing smile. The him in the mirror would watch and wait silently knowing there would be a time when he would come to truly look into it and the mirror could look back. He ignored it- no he tried to ignore it. But he could see the mirror’s smile curve into a smirk. But he still chose to ignore it.
Admitting he was unnerved by the him in the mirror would only cause him strife. His friends and family would think him insane. Someone his age who had never truly grown up from a childhood fear. But he supposed he was the opposite of most people in that regard, as a child he hadn’t thought much about the mirror at all. He hadn’t found himself sitting across from it waiting and watching and daring it to differ from his own position. As a child he hadn’t noticed- he hadn’t cared. Perhaps he and the mirror were truly in sync then. Back before he had started lying to himself.
The lie was what had caused their separation. And with each one which left his lips he could see more changes in the mirror. They were slight, but over time he could tell- when he was looking at his reflection and when he wasn’t. His reflection held his hair, his eyes behind his frames, his expression, himself. But the mirror’s expression always held a tad bit of amusement, be it the smirk on his lips, or the light in his eye that gave it a yellow hue. The mirror wasn’t him.
He was scared of the him in the mirror.
So he covered the mirror.
He had never realized how often he could see himself in a day. Before the him in the mirror had restricted itself to the one in his room but now it had free range. He hadn't realized much of the world could reflect a face back to him that wasn't his- so there was no escaping it, he couldn't cover every reflective surface in the world. So he decided to try to reason with it instead.
His hands had shook as he pulled the blanket from over the mirror. When he could see the mirror before him he could see the amusement on the mirror’s face. He gave a hard swallow as he set the blanket aside and sat back on his bed and started into the eyes watching his. Words had frozen on his tongue as he tried to think of a way to beg for peaceful resolution between them- but the mirror had spoken first.
“Truly a pitiful one aren't we?”
The voice wasn’t his. It was- no it wasn’t- it was- and yet it was different. Fear was chilling his veins and tears fought to leave his eyes as he tried to swallow his fear.
“What is it you want from this version of yourself, Logan?”
“F-friendship.”
There was a smirk on its lips as it leaned forward in his seat, mirth in its eyes. It looked like a predator playing with its food and yet all it said was “Oh?”
“Friendship,” Logan said again. “And coexistence.”
He had spoken to it multiple times simply to gauge and earn the mirror’s trust. He had fought to keep his emotions at bay as he tried to understand the enigma that the mirror was. Because he knew it was the only way the two could both survive.
He had made a deal- he had made friends with the him in the mirror.
No. Logan just liked to think they were friends. Because if they weren’t he didn’t want to know what their relationship truly was.
He didn’t want to think about the times he had woken up to see the mirror sitting on his- on its side reading a book- completely abandoning its job of being the reflection. He didn’t want to think about the way that voice which was just slightly different than his would speak and tell him all about the wrong decisions he had made. He didn’t want to listen as the mirror would go on and on about how lying to himself was worse than lying to people around him.
“What do you want me to do?” Logan shouted at it. “It’s too late now! I can’t tell them the truth about what I did!”
“I didn’t say you had to,” the mirror replied, sipping at a glass of water. “I said you should make peace with yourself.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed into a glare as he angrily pressed a hand against the glass between them- the closest he could come to grabbing it. “And how do you expect me to do that?”
The mirror paused with an unchanging expression before he rose from his seat on the bed and made his way to stand with only the glass parting the two. He had intended to yell at the mirror once more, to tell it to help him in some way- but the mirror had crashed that train of thought the moment it had left the station as it pressed a finger to its side of the mirror- and he felt a cool chill in the middle of his palm. He reeled back quickly and fell to the floor his breaths short and shallow as he looked up with wide eyes to mirror. Who gave him a slight smile in return, “That’s not for me to figure out.”
He wasn’t friends with the him in the mirror.
He hadn’t touched the mirror again. He would never make that mistake again. He would keep his distance. Always keep his distance. But the mirror didn’t seem bothered or like it had even noticed at all. It would just stay on his side and give lectures on life as if it was the one truly living it.
Sometimes the him in the mirror seemed to forget it was nothing more than a mirror.
And perhaps that should’ve been the most important sign.
He had woken up early and proceeded to get ready for work- a day like any other but when he had entered the bathroom to brush his teeth he had noticed it. The lack of him staring back. The lack of anything from the other side. He had thought he had been hallucinating it- but the other mirrors held the same nothingness. He had gone about his day, noticing how in the public bathroom at work he held reflection, but when alone there was nothing there. It was like the mirror was trying to send him a message without words.
He waited until he got home to respond.
He had stood before the mirror calling the name it had given itself- Janus- but gaining no reply. It was a flicker of movement which caused him to move closer to the mirror. Which caused him to move up to it to get a better look-
But he hadn’t realized the movement was a reflection, until he was already tumbling through.
Logan landed on the floor hard and pain filled him but he ignored it as he hurriedly turned to the mirror- to see himself staring back with a smile. Panic was rising in his chest. He couldn’t breathe and his heart drummed against his ribs as if trying to break them. And yet all he could do was move toward the mirror and bang on it. He slammed his fists against the cool pane repeatedly as he shouted and screamed through it- but Janus only shook his head with a “tsk”.
He had noticed the him in the mirror.
“I told you not to lie to yourself,” Janus said with Logan’s smile. “But I suppose I left out that if the lie continued, it would become yourself.”
He had been scared of the him in the mirror.
“Let me out!” Logan snarled, smashing a fist against the glass but Janus didn’t even flinch. Rather he leaned back and put his hand to his sides- and Logan felt as he was forced to do the same.
He had made a deal- he had made friends with the him in the mirror.
“I warned you,” Janus said and together they shrugged. Logan wanted to resist to shout to scream- but his left arm could only match Janus’s left as they fixed their hair.
He wasn’t friends with the him in the mirror.
“Please,” Logan begged, his voice breaking as the tears and his eyes fell.
Sometimes the him in the mirror seemed to forget it was nothing more than a mirror.
Janus paused considering him before Logan felt his lips tug into a wry smile, and then they spoke as one. “Why shouldn’t you be the one in the mirror?”
