Eredin, just from curiosity, have you heard about the chocolate salami?
Narë of Imladris.
Oh, I know exactly what chocolate salami is. A divine creation. A masterpiece of confectionery art. A dessert that straddles the line between elegance and absolute indulgence.
And yet, despite my knowledge—despite my passion—I am still, to this day, engaged in a relentless campaign to convince Lindir to let me make it again. 😭😭😭
You see, the last time I attempted this noble feat, there was… an incident. An unfortunate, unforeseen event. A small culinary tragedy, if you will. 😭
I had the finest ingredients: rich dark chocolate, crushed biscuits, hazelnuts toasted to perfection, a touch of liqueur for depth of flavor. And, in a moment of inspiration (or perhaps hubris), I decided to add marshmallows.
I thought they would bring a delightful softness, a contrast to the crunch, a playful sweetness for my Lord, you see.🥺
What they actually brought was chaos.
They melted—or rather, burnt—in ways that defied reason. They fused into an unyielding mass, a chewy abyss within the salami’s delicate structure. Lindir, with all the grace of an elven lord, attempted to cut a slice and nearly lost the knife inside. THE KNIFE, NARË!!!!😭😭
It took an entire pot of tea and no small amount of patience to separate the pieces.
And now, now, he refuses to let me try again.🥺
He says it is 'for the safety of all involved.' That I 'must accept my limitations.' That I am 'banned from experiments involving high-heat sugar caramelization without supervision.' 😭😭😭😭
But I ask you—is this justice?
No. It is not.
And so, Narë of Imladris, I shall not rest. I shall persevere. I will make chocolate salami again. And when I do, it shall be perfect. 😭🍫🔪
This is my vow.🥺