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Chapter Fifty-Six:

The One Where Klaus Performs a Cranioectomy

Violet hesitantly walked into the Library of Records glancing around at the wreckage that Esme Squalor had created. Her heart sank in her chest as she glanced over at the emergency exit door that she had tried to escape out of only to find herself in the arms of Count Olaf. She shuddered remembering how trapped she felt in the man’s arms.

“Ed? Is that really you!?” a friendly voice called out. Violet stiffened when she realized that a man was walking towards her hurriedly. She glanced back at her father who was slightly behind her. He was smiling towards the man and only shifted his gaze to Violet when he realized that she was looking at him. He gave his daughter a small smile and a quick nod to the head. The man walked over one of the fallen filing cabinets and smiled at Violet. “There you are, Ed! You’re so grown up!” the man said as he rushed to Violet and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Violet stiffened more at the feel of the embrace. The last time anyone had grabbed her in this particular room had been Olaf so she was feeling a bit uneasy as this stranger grabbed hold of her and held her. But unlike Olaf, the man’s embrace was warm and it made Violet feel safe. Like her father’s embrace had made her feel. Slowly, she eased into the hug and eventually even hugged the man back although she tried to turn towards her father to give him a look of confusion. “Ed...oh how I’ve missed you,”

Violet slowly released her grip from the man. “I’m sorry, but you must have me mistaken for...someone...else?” she said as she took a good look at the man before her. It was odd, he seemed familiar and recognizable but Violet could have sworn she had never met this man in her entire life. She had seen his face in pictures, though. Although, that wasn’t what had Violet confused as to why he was so familiar. When he glanced up at his face, she could see a weird mix of partial Sunny and partial Klaus. The man had the same eye and nose shape as her baby sister while the color of his hair, the way he wore his hair, and the glasses on his face had her thinking of Klaus.

The man smiled. “Oh no, you’re Ed.”

“Ed?” Violet repeated, confused as she glanced back at Lemony, who had the biggest smile on his face as he wiped a few happy tears from his eyes. “My name’s Violet,”

The man smiled again, he gave Violet a gentle pat on the back. “Well, L here tells me you’re an inventor,”

Violet smiled and nodded her head. Her father never wasted an opportunity to brag about her mechanical skills to anyone. They could be his closest friend or a complete stranger and Lemony Snicket would be yabbering on and on about his daughter’s inventive skills. “I am…” she said slowly.

“Well ‘Ed’ is short for Thomas Alva Edison...one of the greatest inventors...like you.” the man said smiling.

Violet nodded. “I’m sorry, you and I have never met...my name is…”

“Violet Malina Snicket,” the man replied, still smiling.

“How do you…”

“Well I chose your middle name,” the man explained. “And you and I have met before...you just wouldn’t remember it seeing as you were so little.”

“Wait…”

“I’m Bertrand Baudelaire,” Bertrand Baudelaire stated.

“But...but...you’re dead…” Violet whimpered. “So...if I’m seeing you...I...I have to be…”

“Sweetheart, we’ve discussed this.” Lemony said from behind her. “You’re not dead...we are. Your subconscious is trying to help you cope with what’s happening on the outside world.”

“What is happening in the…”

“Nothing we need to worry about,” Bertrand explained. “You’ll be safe soon,”

“But how do you…” Violet asked, confused. “How am I…”

Bertrand and Lemony looked at one another and smiled. Bertrand pulled Violet into a tight embrace when he had seen that she was crying. “Shhhh,” he said holding his eldest daughter close. “No need for tears. Everything is going to get better eventually,”

“No, it won’t,” Violet replied. “Olaf won’t stop until…”

“I knew the only downside of Lemony raising you would be you inheriting his pessimistic views on life,” a female voice said. Violet stiffened once more as she heard the click and clank of the woman’s heels. Even if these heels were normal and produced a different sound than Esme’s stiletto knife heels, Violet couldn’t help but cringe each time she heard the sound of the woman approaching. The woman carefully walked around a few of the fallen cabinets, glancing from left to right studying the damage that Esme had created. Violet tried her best to get a glimpse of the woman’s face but she was unable to. “You know...all of this for some drugs…” the woman muttered pointing to the damage. Violet cocked her head confused as the woman tried to step over one of the cabinets as Bertrand had a few minutes prior. Something in Violet made her retreat behind Bertrand as Lemony quickly walked up towards the woman and helped her step over the cabinet. Violet didn’t know why but the voice seemed vaguely familiar. A familiarity that Violet was unsure of until she got a glimpse of the woman.

The woman looked up at her with tears in her eyes. “My...my Violet Malina,” the woman said before rushing towards Violet and hugging her. The woman hugged Violet tighter than Lemony or Bertrand had which surprised Violet she didn’t believe that was possible. Violet recognized the woman’s face from every time she glanced either at her locket or in the mirror. The woman’s face was a near carbon copy of Violet’s own face except for the eyes and when she glanced towards the woman’s eyes she could instantly see that her brother possessed her eyes. The woman cried as she held onto Violet. “My baby girl…I’m so sorry,” she cried as her grip on Violet strengthened. Violet felt as though she couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t find it a problem because she was one hundred percent convinced that she was dead.

“Bea…” Violet began but stopped. It didn’t feel right to call this woman by her first name when there was a more appropriate name for Violet to call her. It was a title that Beatrice first obtained when Violet was born and Violet didn’t see an issue with her using it even if this was a dream and she had never met this woman before. “Mom?”

Beatrice released some of her grip from Violet to look at her daughter. Beatrice was rendered speechless but slowly nodded her head as she wiped her eyes once more. “Yeah...I’m...I’m your mother,” she said as she put her hand on one of Violet’s bruised cheeks.

Violet tried to keep a smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around Beatrice tightly and began to sob into the woman’s shoulder. Beatrice ran her fingers through Violet’s tangled hair, doing her best to gently untangle it in the process. “Shhh,” Beatrice cooed. “Mother’s here now,”

“You...I...I…” Violet cried.

“Violet...I’m so proud of you,” Beatrice cried, she glanced up at Bertrand when he cleared his throat. “Sorry,” she called out to Bertrand as she looked back down at Violet. “ We are so proud of you, sweetheart.”

“Proud of me?” Violet repeated. “For what?”

“For what?” Bertrand repeated incredulously. “For protecting your siblings, of course.” Bertrand stepped closer to Beatrice and Violet, pulling them into a huge embrace. He then glanced over at Lemony, gesturing for the awkward bibliophile to join the embrace. Violet felt a sense of belonging and safety as she felt the strong embrace of all three of her parents. But even though she felt safe in their arms, she began to cry, all of her emotions hitting her at once.

She glanced up at them, looking more so towards Bertrand and Beatrice as she slowly shook her head. “But...I haven’t...Sunny was still…Olaf kidnapped her... and...and Klaus is…he’s severely...traumatized...and...” she cried through her tears.

“None of that is your fault, Ed,” Bertrand explained.

Beatrice gently broke the embrace and knelt down in front of Violet. She placed her hand once more on Violet’s bruised cheek. “Vi...sweetie...your father is right,” Beatrice said. “ None of that is your fault. You selflessly took them under your wing the moment you realized who they were.”

“Well...I had to…” Violet explained, shrugging her shoulders. “Snickets take care of their own...and they’re my siblings,”

Her three parents smiled. “You selflessly took them in,” Lemony said.

“You sacrificed yourself for their safety,” Bertrand added.

“And...when you had the chance to escape...you got recaptured because you thought your brother was in danger,” Beatrice added smiling. “ That shows how big your heart is, Violet. It shows how much you love your younger siblings and how much you truly belong with them,”

Violet shook her head when Beatrice mentioned her belonging with her siblings. “I don’t belong with them…” she admitted meekly. “They…”

“Now, Violet, why wouldn’t you belong with your siblings?” Bertrand asked.

“You’re just as much of a Baudelaire as they are,” Beatrice explained. “You are my first born. You are my eldest, not Klaus. Klaus is our middle child, Violet.”

Violet nodded her head but continued to cry. “But...there’s...there’s this...invisible wall…”

Beatrice shook her head as she wiped Violet’s tears away. “There is no wall. There is no barrier. Klaus and Sunny are your siblings. If…if life hadn’t turned out the way it had...all three of you would’ve been Snickets and Baudelaires.”

“But...Olaf and Esme…and Mr. Poe…” Violet cried out.

Lemony gave a low growl as Bertrand’s facial expression turned sour. “Mr. Poe is...an incompetent buffoon,” Beatrice explained.

“But he’s in charge of Klaus and Sunny’s affairs…”

“He was the lesser evil of our two options,” Bertrand explained.

“Who was the second option?” Violet asked curiously.

Beatrice gestured to the destroyed library. “The bitch who did all this,” Beatrice explained. Violet gasped.

“And speaking of her,” Bertrand began as he, too, knelt down to Violet’s level. “Her and Olaf don’t understand how the basics of family work. You are our daughter as much as Sunny is,”

Violet nodded her head as she glanced up towards her father. “Are you sure this is a dream?” she asked in a low voice as he nodded his head. “Cause if it isn’t...and...I’m...down for the count...I wouldn’t mind staying here with you.” she admitted.

Beatrice and Bertrand frowned as Lemony sighed. “Sweetie, this is a dream and...eventually you’ll wake up and have to deal with whatever is happening in the outside world.”

Violet nodded as she looked back towards Beatrice and Bertrand. “You are everything I hoped you’d grow up to be,” Beatrice told Violet.

“L didn’t do a bad job at all,” Bertrand agreed.

Lemony groaned. “I wish you’d stop calling me ‘L’,”

“Well, I know how much you hate your name,” Bertrand explained with a smirk.

“I hate ‘L’ more than I hate my name,” Lemony informed. “And you know this,”

Beatrice rolled her eyes at the two men as they bickered but she focused her attention solely on her daughter. “I wish I could’ve seen you grow up…” Beatrice cried, her eyes filling with tears once more. “God, you would’ve made us so proud every day.”

Bertrand nodded as Violet jolted violently. “What’s happening?” she asked worriedly.

“You might be waking up,” Lemony explained.

“But...I don’t wanna leave you guys just yet,” Violet pleaded.

Beatrice sighed. “We would love to stay with you, too. But you’re needed, Violet. The three of you need each other to survive Olaf,”

“But…”

Bertrand hugged Violet once more quickly. “Can you do us a favor sweetie, can you tell Klaus and Sunny that we love and miss them,” he said. “Can you also tell your brother that we don’t blame him for anything bad that has happened to Sunny. We should have never asked him to make that promise,”

“If everything went the way you had planned...I would’ve been asked to keep that promise...right?” Violet asked.

Bertrand sighed and nodded slowly. “You don’t have to keep that promise either, Ed. It’s a truly unfair and impossible promise.”

“I wouldn’t call it impossible,” Violet said, shrugging her shoulders.

Bertrand released Violet from the embrace but gently put his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t want you thinking you have to take on that promise for your brother. We should have never made him promise that. I would prefer that the three of you promise to take care of one another...as a team.” he explained sternly but kindly.

Violet nodded slowly, her eyes filling to the brim with tears. Bertrand released Violet’s shoulders as Lemony hugged her. “You are stronger than he is, Violet. You’re fighting isn’t for nothing,” he explained. “He may have tiny victories...but you will prevail overall.”

“But...if…” Violet cried.

Lemony released Violet from the embrace and Beatrice grabbed onto Violet and hugged her tightly. “The three of you will take care of each other. I know it. I have no doubt about it. You have grown into an amazing young woman. You couldn’t make me prouder even if you tried.” Beatrice explained. Violet jolted once more in her mother’s arms.

Violet nodded. “Please don’t leave me,” she cried. “I can’t do this alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Beatrice explained, her voice shifting slightly. “You have your siblings.”

“But they left…” Violet cried. “Olaf said…”

“Olaf is a lying piece of shit,” Bertrand explained, although his voice shifted like Beatrice’s. It was as if Bertrand sounded younger...prepubescent, even.

She moved her head slightly to look towards Bertrand, who was becoming blurry. “ No!” Violet cried as she reached out for Bertrand as she continued to hug Beatrice. “ Dad...don’t go!” she called out. Her heart fluttered in confusion as Bertrand slowly shrunk down a bit, his face shifted a bit, becoming rounder. Violet had to blink a couple of times as she watched Bertrand slowly form into her brother. “ Klaus…?” she cried out, wrapping her arms around her mother tighter than before. “ No...no...you can’t be here. You can’t be dead, too.”

But the Klaus in front of her didn’t say anything as if he couldn’t see who was holding her in a tight embrace. Lemony sighed. “Sweetie, we’ve been through this…” he began. Violet turned towards him and watched as he was becoming more and more blurry. “...you’re...not dead…”

Violet reached out for Lemony, but Lemony didn’t reach out for her. “ Mr. Lemons! Please don’t go!”

Violet’s eyes filled with tears as her father was going in and out of blurriness. As if he was only half disappearing. Was she waking up? What was happening? All of Violet’s questions were hushed when she felt the woman holding her in the embrace begin to laugh. It was an unsettling laugh. “ Now...I wouldn’t say that…” her mother said, although at this point, the voice that came out of her mother’s mouth was not how she imaged her mother’s voice just moments ago. It was a snarling voice, a recognizable voice. “ It’s time to lose our first patient,” the feminine voice snarled before laughing again.

Violet released her grip from around her mother and watched in horror as her mother’s hair bleached down to blonde before her eyes. Her mother’s shoes turned into stiletto knives and her mother’s face turned from the one that smiled back at her every time she glanced down at her locket to the face of a woman who will probably haunt plenty of violet’s nightmares.

“ Mom! No...please come back!” she shrieked as she pushed herself away from the vision of Esme Squalor that was once her mother. “ No...no...no…” she panicked. She looked back at where her brother stood. He seemed angry, but he was silent. “ Klaus! What are you doing, get out of here, run!” she turned back towards where she had last scene her father. “Mr. Lemons...thank God you’re still here…” she started to say as Lemony once again began to slowly disappear and reappear but always staying blurry. “ No…no...you...not you, too!” she pleaded as her father merely cocked his head to the side and began to bellow out a cruel laugh. A laugh that Violet and her siblings knew all too well. It was a wheezy laugh. She fell to her knees crying. “ No...no...no…” From where she sat, she watched in absolute horror as her father’s pant leg shrank, becoming unable to hide his tattooed ankle. She glanced up towards his face. “ Mr. lemons come back!” she pleaded, reaching a hand out for her father as he closed his eyes and jolted back a bit. When he opened his eyes though, they were no longer dull and blue. They were green and shiny. The same degree of shiny that had been plaguing Violet’s life since the tragic death of her father and the same shiny eyes that had been plaguing her siblings’ lives since even before then. She watched in horror as her father’s silhouette turned into the silhouette of the man who would surely haunt her every nightmare. “ No!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. “ No...no...no…” she glared towards Olaf. “ Bring him back!” she turned towards Esme who was still cackling. “ Bring her back! Bring them all back!”

“ Do it!” Esme screeched towards Klaus, who stood there confused.. “ Do it!”

Violet looked confused towards Klaus. “Do what?” she pondered.

“The best thing...for you to do...for our patient,” Olaf began as he, too, turned towards Klaus.

“Patient?” Violet asked worriedly. She looked from the two villains to her brother. “Where’s Sunny? Klaus...what’s happening?” she asked, her heart pounding. She glanced around and only now began to notice that the Library of Records looked vastly different. It was far too bright, every way she looked she couldn’t see anything but a very bright light. She watched as Esme took a step closer towards Klaus, she could hear the vicious sound of Esme’s knife heel stabbing the floor. Violet quickly stood. “ No! Stay away from him!” she pleaded.

“Is to remove her head altogether,” Olaf hissed.

Violet looked towards him with utter confusion. “Remove whose head?” she asked incredulously.

She looked towards Klaus, who looked up at Olaf and Esme, he seemed to be nodding. “ Klaus…” she called out, but he didn’t say anything. She glanced down at his hands and noticed that her brother was holding a long, rusty knife.

“There’s a chance…” Klaus began. Although Violet was confused. The voice that was coming out of Klaus’ mouth didn’t entirely sound like his. But his lips were moving perfectly to dictate what was being said. “...that the patient could die. ”

Olaf nodded his head. “Sometimes we make sacrifices for the sake of…protection...”

Violet shook her head slowly, none of this felt right. She was crying hard and trying her best to walk away from the scene that was unfolding before her. But it was like she was restrained. She might have been standing, but every time she moved her hands or legs, no movement followed. “ No...no…they said I wasn’t dead.”

Olaf turned towards Klaus. “Isn’t that so?”

“What do we do?” Klaus asked, his voice sounding more like himself. Violet’s head was spinning. Was she still dreaming? Was she finally dead? If that was the case why did her parents disappear?

“Before I make the first incision…” Klaus began. “This is a knife,”

“Well, let’s see you use it!” Esme screeched, although her voice was rough and wheezy like Olaf. “ do it! Do it!”

“ Do it!” Olaf barked. Klaus looked down towards the knife in his hand and then he looked at Violet for the first time since he had appeared in place of his father. He stood there, unmoving, just continuing to stare towards Violet. Olaf and Esme seemed to become impatient because they rushed over towards Klaus and began whispering to him. To violet’s horror and confusion, Klaus whispered back to them but as Violet watched on it didn’t seem as though Klaus was arguing with the two villains, but it seemed like he was agreeing with them.

“If...it means...leaving... Violet,” Klaus explained as Violet’s eyes widened.

“ No...no...no...no...you can’t leave me… ” Violet pleaded as the blinding light was beginning to consume the room around her. “ You son of a...you can’t leave me! Mom! Dad! Mr. Lemons! Come back! I can’t…” she whimpered as she felt herself slowly opening her eyes, feeling as if she had been consumed by the bright light that had once surrounded her in her dreams.

________________________________________________________________

Esme smirked as she held Klaus back every time that he tried to move closer to his older sister. Both Klaus and Esme watch as Olaf looked directly at Esme slowly nodding his head. Klaus looked from Olaf to Esme angrily as Esme smirked once more as she released her grip on Klaus’ shoulder with a slight push to get him to walk closer to his unconscious sister who lay on the gurney. He shuddered and felt his blood run cold as he glanced around slowly at the surprisingly packed operating theater. Klaus Baudelaire was well aware that operating theaters are not nearly as popular as dramatic theaters, musical theaters, and movie theaters, and it is easy to know why. A dramatic theater is a large, dark room in which actors perform a play, and if you are in the audience, you can enjoy yourself by listening to the dialog and looking at the costumes. A musical theater is a large, dark room in which musicians perform a symphony, and if you are in the audience, you can enjoy yourself by listening to the melodies and watching the conductor wave his little stick around. And a movie theater is a large, dark room in which a projectionist shows a film, and if you are in the audience, you can enjoy yourself by eating popcorn and gossiping about movie stars. But an operating theater is a large, oddly lit room in which doctors perform medical procedures, and if you are in the audience, the best thing to do is to leave at once because there is never anything on display in an operating theater but pain, suffering and discomfort, and it was for this reason that Klaus was surprised to see how many people filled the theater. There were rows of doctors in white coats who were clearly eager to see a new operation being performed. There were clusters of nurses sitting together and whispering with excitement about the world’s first cranioectomy. There was a large group of the Volunteers Fighting Disease who seemed ready to burst into song if needed. And there were a great many people who looked like they had simply walked over to the operating theater to see what was playing. He also noticed in the front row was the rest of Olaf’s vicious troupe. All of them glaring and smirking at him.

As he stepped closer and closer to his sister, he kept his glare on Count Olaf. Klaus gasped at how dreadful his older sister looked. When Olaf had mentioned ‘Sleeping Beauty’, he was referring to a fairy tale that you have probably heard one thousand times. But when Klaus finally got a good look at Violet, it looked nothing like a fairy tale. He shuddered when he saw his elder sister laying on the gurney, he noticed that this particular gurney was as rusty as the knife that Esme held, and its sheets were ripped and soiled. The middle orphan felt his blood slowly begin to boil when he noticed that she was no longer wearing her overalls but had on just a hospital gown, a hospital gown that was as filthy as the sheets. He looked from her, his full face of guilt and remorse.

Why didn’t he protect her? He knew the kind of danger she was in. Olaf had made his intentions with Violet very clear. He thought. He slowly walked over closer to Violet’s numb body noticing Violet’s two bruised cheeks even under all of her hair that had been messily thrown over her eyes so that no one would recognize her face from The Daily Punctilio. Except for her cheeks, Klaus noticed that the rest of Violet’s face was pale, as pale and empty as the surface of the moon, and her mouth was open slightly in a vacant frown underneath the anesthesia mask. He shook his head, holding back tears as he noticed that his sister’s wrists and ankles were tied to the corners of the gurney. Her fingers hung loosely over the edge of the gurney, her fingertips all pointing down towards the floor. Even her bare feet slumped over the edge of gurney, completely limp and lifeless. She was entirely helpless. He had never seen anyone so helpless before. He glanced up at the man who stood before him, who wore the biggest chilling grin. Sunny could feel Klaus’ chest rise and fall as he took a deep angry breath, but still somehow casually walked up to the man. Klaus looked from the sinister man to his older sister, who looked as though she had been dropped onto the gurney from a great height. Honestly, if it weren’t for the slow and steady rise of her chest as she breathed, it would have looked like she had not survived the fall. Klaus looked at her in horrified silence, Sunny pushing Klaus’ medical coat apart just slightly between two buttons so she, too, can get a peak at her sister and when she had, she gasped loudly, moving her fingers so that the jacket would obstruct her view from her sister once more. Klaus could feel Sunny shudder in response to the horrifying view. Klaus put a hand over where Sunny was, in an effort to comfort her.

Klaus glared towards Olaf and slowly turned to the audience. “Excuse me, ladies and gentleman.” he called out to the audience. “I must have a quick word with Dr. Medical-School, here,” Klaus hissed in his disguised deep British accent. Olaf looked at him confused and even Sunny gave a look of confusion from under Klaus’ medical coat. Klaus grabbed Olaf’s arm, pulling him close to the young boy’s face. “ Listen to me very carefully,” Klaus hissed in a tone that sent chills down his younger sister’s back even causing her to shudder. “ If you touched Violet in any way…” Klaus stopped speaking when Olaf merely smirked at the boy, Klaus watched the sinister bastard shrug his shoulders as if he had no idea as to what Klaus was indicating.

He pulled Olaf close to him once more, harsher this time, causing Olaf to bump into Sunny directly, forgetting for a brief moment that his sister resided in the front of his disguise. To focused on protecting his older sister at the moment. “ If you touched Violet...I promise you, you will have Hell to pay!” He hissed. “ No one touches my sisters.”

Olaf smirked at the boy, a sinister smirk, laced with cruelty. Klaus didn’t know what the smirk meant. Olaf gripped his arm and leaned in real close to whisper a cruel response to the thirteen year old boy. “ Maybe I did...and maybe I didn’t. Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Esme’s face lit up with an idea as she quickly walked towards Klaus roughly handing him the sharp, rusty knife. “Don’t forget this,” she hissed, smiling towards the crowd. She glanced back towards Klaus. “ You’ll need it.” As she began to remove herself from center stage, she glanced at a confused Olaf whose face was a mix of pure confusion and utter annoyance. He looked from the knife, that was now being held by Klaus. Then at Esme, who merely shrugged her shoulders at him. Olaf gave a low growl as he glanced around at the crowd trying to rewire his plan seeing that Esme had handed Klaus a weapon. A devious smirk was planted on his face.

He gestured towards Violet. “Well, hurry along, Doctor Faustus. The anesthesia won’t last forever.”

Klaus looked from the rusty knife in his hands towards his older sister and then to Olaf, who merely turned his attention to the crowd.

“I do hope she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the operation,” Esme called out to Klaus, as she grinned happily at the prospect of what she had just said happening. Klaus turned to her in utter disbelief as she glared at him. He looked down nervously at his unconscious sister completely unsure of what to do.

“Doctors, nurses, Volunteers Fighting Disease, gore fans, regular people, welcome to the operating theater of Heimlich Hospital! I am Dr. Mattathias Medical School and these are my associates,” he said gesturing towards an angry and confused Klaus and a bloodthirsty Esme.

“And I am Nurse Cassandra Ursula Terrific Elliandra…” Esme said loudly.

“And of course, the man who will be performing the operation,” Olaf interrupted rolling his eyes at Esme. “the marvelous Doctor Faustus.” He gestured towards Klaus. Klaus responded by giving Olaf a pleading look. His way of begging Olaf to stop this insane plot. He knew it was effortless but he couldn’t help himself. Klaus looked around the operating theater as it erupted in applause. He gulped and glanced down at the sharp knife that was in his hands. He couldn’t control himself but he began to shake.

“As I’m sure you’ve heard, a cranioectomy is a procedure in which the patient’s head is removed.” Olaf explained as Esme pushed to center stage a large mobile diagram. She waved to the audience as she pulled down one of the few slides and showed a detailed diagram of a human head. “Scientists have discovered that many health problems are rooted in the brainial area.” Olaf continued to explain. “So the best thing to do for the patient is to remove the head altogether.”

Klaus looked horrified towards Olaf as he spoke. He simply shook his head in terror as he glanced back down at Violet. Esme took the time to pull the diagram’s draw-string releasing it. The slides of the diagram rolled back to its initial state quickly causing Klaus to jump at the sudden noise.

“Now, a cranioectomy is as dangerous as it is necessary. There is a chance that the patient,” he began as he turned menacingly towards Klaus. “May tragically die during the operation. Leaving their enormous fortune up for grabs. But sometimes we make sacrifices in the name of advancement.” As he said this, he stepped closer towards Violet and stroked her cheek and even ran a couple of fingers across her neck causing Klaus’ anger to boil once more. “Isn’t that so, Dr. Faustus?” he asked in a braggy tone as he turned towards Klaus.

Klaus began to breathe heavily as he looked from Olaf who was standing next to his sister’s gurney and Esme who was blocking the nearest exit. He glanced around the operating theater looking at all of the people who were eagerly awaiting him to cut off his sister’s head. He felt his legs becoming jello as he held the rusty knife limply in one hand. He walked a few steps away from Violet’s gurney, away from Olaf, and he put his free hand over his mouth to hide the fact that he was talking and at the same time to echo his words in hopes of Sunny being able to hear him.

“Sunny...what do we do?” he cried helplessly. “I’m surrounded by people who expect me to saw Violet’s head off.”

Sunny looked up at Klaus, cringed when she remembered how Violet looked on the gurney, and then she took a deep breath as she tried to think of something...anything that they could do. “Stall?” she suggested.

The word ‘stall’ has two meaning, but as with most words with two meanings, you can figure out which meaning is being used by looking at the situation. The word ‘stall’ , for example could refer to a place where horses are kept, but Klaus knew at once that Sunny meant something more along the lines of, “We’ll try to postpone the operation as long as we can,” and he nodded silently in agreement. The middle orphan took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to think of something that could help him postpone the cranioectomy, and all at once he thought of something he had read.

When you read as many books as Klaus Baudeliare, you are going to learn a great deal of information that might not be useful for a long time. But then suddenly like a strike of lightning, or a grand piano falling out of a window, the opportunity arises to use the infromation gleaned from even the most unlikely piece of reading. “Before I make the first incision,” Klaus called out to the audience nervously. “I...I...I think...I think I should talk a little bit about the equipment I’m using.”

Olaf looked at Klaus unamused as he folded his arms across his chest. Klaus walked around Violet’s gurney towards the anesthetic machine making sure not to look at it and making sure to not make it obvious what he was planning to do.

In the case of Klaus Baudelaire, it was an obscure book from the Baudelaire library, The Complete and Total History of Knives. Klaus raised the rusty, sharp knife higher showing it off to the crowd. Knowing fully that his hands were shaking the entire time. “Th-this is a knife.” he explained.

Olaf rolled his eyes tiresomely. “We know it’s a knife,” he explained coldly to Klaus. “ Now let’s see you use it,” he hissed as he glared at the young boy.

Klaus glared back at the man nervously. “Any real doctor would never perform a procedure without explaining everything first. And we are both real doctors, aren’t we?” He looked pointedly at Olaf as he asked the question. Olaf opened his mouth to say something but instead gave Klaus a low inhumane growl. He frowned towards the young boy but took a deep breath smiling towards the crowd. He looked back at Klaus, who smirked back at him. Olaf took another deep breath and gave Klaus a toothy grin. “Keep it short, Doctor.” he ordered as he allowed Klaus to continue on.

Klaus took a deep breath before addressing the crowd once more. “The knife is the oldest surgical tool in the world. Early knives have been found in Egyptian tombs and Mayan temples,” he explained as he noticed that Esme was playing with her fingernails and already yawning and Olaf had turned his back to the boy to mouth something to his henchpeople. Klaus took this time to slowly back up towards the anesthesia machine. He reached it with no problem, glanced back at both villains, who were still distracted, and flipped the switch from ON to OFF. “Where they were used for ceremonial purposes, and mostly fashioned out of stone. Gradually bronze and iron became the essential materials in knives, ,although some cultures fashioned them out of the incisors of slain animals.” Klaus was surprised that even when fighting back a panic attack for the most part he was still able to infodump about the random things he had read in books so many years ago.

Fearing that it wouldn’t be enough to help his sister gain consciousness quick enough, Klaus leaned back as far as he can, still glancing between the two villains and unhooked the tube that connected from the machine to Violet’s mask. Violet shifted only slightly and only barely. It was so bare that Klaus hadn’t even noticed it. “There are many different types of knives,” Klaus said as he leaned back against Violet’s gurney as if he was trying to relax. Olaf turned towards the boy and looked at him confused. “Which I’m going to list for you now…”

Olaf growled again as he dropped his head in disappointment. “ Do you ever shut up?!” he hissed for only Klaus and Sunny to hear. Klaus smirked as he continued to slowly walk around the front of Violet’s gurney, holding the knife in his shaky hands.

“There’s the pen knife, the pocket knife, the drawing knife, the...the...the butter knife,” Klaus listed as he felt Olaf’s grip on his shoulder.

“What a lengthy explanation, ladies and gentleman!” Olaf yelled in annoyance as Klaus’ eyes widened again. Klaus shook his head slowly, looking towards Olaf trying one last time to plead with his eyes. “But it’s time for the main event!”

Klaus’ pleading eyes vanished into a glare as the crowd around him began to applaud. He looked around the room wishing that the audience could see through Olaf’s ridiculous games.

“Yes!” Esme shouted, obviously losing her patience with Klaus’ stalling. “I think all these lovely people will understand the process better once,” she turned toward Klaus, a face full of no emotion at all. It was a chilling face. It made Klaus’ skin crawl. “The head has been removed.”

Klaus looked to Esme with frightened eyes as he looked from her to his older sister. Violet moved on her gurney, ever so slightly. Her mouth opened a little wider under the mask, and one of her limp fingers stirred briefly. The motions were so small that Klaus noticed them. He gave a small smile. Could he keep stalling until the anesthesia completely wore off?

“ Do it!” Esme demanded.

“Yeah! Cut off her head!” someone in the crowd shouted. Klaus could hear a few more people in the crowd agree.

Olaf gestured towards Violet’s gurney. “ Do it!” he hissed. Klaus walked over towards Violet’s gurney.

His sister looked so helpless. He wanted nothing more for her to wake up and help him out of this mess. But as he stared at her, she only moved her hand again, just barely.

“Be-before I...before I can…” Klaus stuttered. “I...I…”

The crowd around him murmured in agreement as Olaf and Esme continued to chant ‘Do it’ as if that alone would make Klaus cut off his sister’s head. He looked back down at Violet with pleading eyes. “Vi...please wake up,” he whispered worriedly. He cautiously poked at his sister’s arm hoping that the slight touch would be enough to annoy her awake.

Klaus listened in horror as Olaf’s troupe followed along with Esme and Olaf’s chanting and soon the entirety of the Operating Theater was chanting alongside the villains. Klaus slowly turned in a complete circle, looking around at the audience and the two villains who were on stage alongside him. He was pleading with everyone in the crowd silently, even trying to plead with Esme and Olaf. Even Sunny, who the whole time had been doing her best to keep her anxious brother calm, was starting to shake and tremble at the overstimulation that was happening in the theater. The poorly lit room was becoming darker and darker as Klaus turned in complete circles as the noise around him got louder and louder. Olaf glared at him as he hissed for Klaus to saw off his sister’s head and Esme clapped and chanted as loud as she could. She seemed more eager for this to happen than Olaf was. Olaf seemed to have been going with the flow since it seemed as though Esme had changed up his plans a bit.

Klaus nodded slowly towards Olaf as he stepped close to Violet. He clasped the knife in both hands as he began to hold it up over his helpless sister. He could feel tears starting to stream slowly down his face as he studied her gurney and tried to think of any escape routes. The only one he could clearly see was the one Esme was still blocking. He looked down at Violet’s sleeping figure and wondered if he could make a very small cut on Violet’s neck, one that could merely wake her up but wouldn’t injure her in the slightest. He looked at the rusty blade, which was shaking up and down as his hands and body began to tremble from his fear and anxiety. He didn’t like being so close to Olaf at all, let alone with sharp tools anywhere near. He hated not being able to control the situation, he had tried to stall but Olaf and Esme had ruined any and all attempts at that. He hated the fact that the operating theater had become too loud and too over stimulating. So he couldn’t help but start to slightly fall apart. There was no way in Hell that he was going to actually saw off Violet’s head. Surely, Olaf and Esme knew this. Neither of them could truly believe that he would.

Was this Olaf’s plan? To make him surrender? To expose Klaus and Sunny to the crowd? Or was his plan to actually have Klaus murder his big sister? Klaus was so confused and that might be the thing that was upsetting him the most. He didn’t like not understanding something. Sure, Olaf’s plan rarely ever made sense but this one took the cake. What was killing Violet going to help Olaf gain? He has to want me to give in. It’s just sick mind games with him. He wants to know that he’s won.

Sunny took this time to take another sneak peek from inside her brother’s medical coat. It’s like the youngest orphan hadn’t learned her lesson from the last time she took a sneak peek because as she slowly pulled the fabric of the medical coat apart, she took her own look at a sleeping Violet and then gasped when she realized that her brother was now holding the knife over Violet. Sunny looked up at Klaus with wide, wide eyes. Thankfully, for the middle orphan he was unable to see the face Sunny was giving him.

The crowd around the two Baudelaires began to get louder and louder. Olaf even stepping closer and closer to Klaus demanding for him to cut off his sister’s head. Klaus was crying trying to get everyone around him to stop chanting. He turned towards Violet once more and noticed how her face flinched slightly. He could have swarn he heard a soft but desperate ‘no’ come from her mouth under the mask but he had no way of knowing for sure.

Klaus looked towards Olaf with a look of utter defeat and fear. Klaus bowed his head down as Olaf began to smirk. “I...I can’t do it,” he whispered, looking up at the ceiling. High above them was a swuare intercom speaker that he had not noticed before and teh sight of the speaker made him think of something. “ I can’t do it,” he announced depressingly towards the crowd.

“ Why not?” Olaf asked in a vicious but taunting manner.

Klaus swallowed, hoping he still sounded confident and not like a scared child. “I...I cannot perform this operation, there’s one thing thtat has to be done, the most important thing we do here at Heimlich Hospital.”

“And what might that be?” Olaf hissed annoyed.

“P-p-paperwork,” Klaus replied nervously.

Olaf looked towards the teen boy irritated and tired as the entire crowd around them gasped and agreed with Klaus. Klaus smiled and addressed the crowd. “We haven’t done the paperwork!”

“Paperwork! Yes, of course!” a nurse shouted happily.

“Somebody call Hal!” suggested a doctor. “He’s in charge of the Library of Records, so he can solve this paperwork problem.”

“I will! I’ll go get him right now!” One of the Volunteers Fighting Disease called out as she stood up from her seat. Klaus was unhappy to learn she was the one who had early been so eager to see him cut his sister’s head off.

“Just a brief pause, ladies and gentleman,” Olaf called out to the audience as they began to murmur amongst themselves. He angrily turned to Klaus, “ a minor interruption!” he hissed frustratedly. Olaf glared towards the disguised orphans and angrily sighed.

Klaus took this time to grab Olaf’s arm. “Let my sister go,” he hissed.

Olaf gave a low chuckle, Klaus gripped his arm tighter. “You only need one of us,” Klaus said as he looked down at where Sunny was and then once again at Violet. He took a deep breath. He looked from Olaf and then towards Esme, who seemed to be quietly debating what her next move will be. He closed his eyes, trying to blink his tears away. “...take me,” he whispered. “Just...leave my sisters alone.” The second the sentence left his mouth, Sunny punched him as hard as she could from underneath the medical coat which caused Klaus to grunt and heave over a bit.

Olaf smirked towards Klaus. “Why would I trade the... prettiest orphan for you?” he asked. “I mean...torturing you is... fun. But she’s…”

Klaus’ eyes went red with anger. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” he interrupted.

Esme’s eyes glowed with another idea. She smiled towards the crowd, waving and smiling to them as she walked towards Klaus. Once she reached him, she grabbed his shoulders, purposely digging her nails as much as she could pulling him slightly towards her.

“Ow!” he whispered angrily, glaring at the sinister woman, who looked back at him with crazy eyes.

“ Clever boy, you may have found a way to stall but sooner or later the show will go on and there will be blood! ” the vile woman hissed into Klaus’ ear. Klaus could feel Sunny slightly tremble at Esme’s words.

Be Violet. Do the scary thing first and get scared later. He told himself as he took a deep breath, trying his absolute best not to react to Esme’s threat. He slightly turned towards her. She gave him a smile laced with cruelty and bad intentions. Klaus’ breathing was becoming uneven as Esme continued to stare at him with her crazy eyes.

“... unless… ” she said smiling.

“Unless?” Both Klaus and Olaf repeated simultaneously. Klaus repeated it with a strange mix of worry and relief in his voice. He didn’t know what Esme wanted but as he glanced once more at his sleeping sister, he knew that whatever it was he would have to give it to her. While Olaf’s voice was a mix of confusion with a hint of anger.

“You give me what I want,” she explained, still holding a firm grip on the young boy. Klaus looked at her with confusion in his eyes. She sighed angrily. “I will stop this whole operation, right now, if you give me the item that you three thieves stole from the Library of Records.” she explained.

“Why would we stop anything...the whole point of this is to…” Olaf hissed under his breath, through gritted teeth as he glared at his girlfriend.

“ It’s mine!” Esme hissed, interrupting Olaf and leaning closer to Klaus’ ear. “ Mine...mine...mine...mine.”

“You stupid bitch what the fuck do you think you are doing?” Olaf hissed under his breath.

Klaus turned from the two villains, who were on either side of him and towards the gurney looking at his bound and unconscious sister once more. He weighed his options. He wanted desperately to know what else was on that film and he had no intentions of ever letting Olaf or Esme find out what Jacques Snicket had said about a survivor of a fire. But if Esme was willing to trade Violet’s life for a measly film then he knew what he had to do. “...if...if it’ll save Violet...then…” he could feel Sunny nodding as if she was telling him he was doing the right thing as he reached into his pocket and took out the Snicket file. He slowly reached his hand into his pocket, Esme watched in sweet anticipation as he lifted the object from his pocket and handed it to Esme.

Esme began to squeal happily as Olaf rolled his eyes and threw his head back in annoyance. “Oh, at last!” she gasped as she began to kiss the object in her hand. Klaus watched the villainess with a look of pure confusion as she continued to cheer about possessing the Snicket file.

Esme’s cheering was cut short when her eyes widened with both anger and confusion when she realized that the object she was holding was not what she wanted at all. She held the film in her palm as she released her fingers from gripping the film. She stared angrily at the film. “This...this...this...this isn’t the sugar bowl…” she said in a monotone voice. She looked up at Klaus about ready to rip the knife from his hands and run him and Sunny through.

“S-s-sugar bowl?” Klaus repeated confused. “That’s...that’s the Snicket file,”

Olaf’s face lit up as he cocked his head. Before Esme or Klaus could react, he reached out and grabbed hold of the file. “The Snicket file? What’s this?” he asked as he turned it every which way in his hands examining it.

Klaus looked ready to cry. If he had known that Esme didn’t want the film and wanted a sugar bowl he would have given her anything else but as he watched Olaf’s frown turn into a grin, he felt sick to his stomach. Olaf didn’t even know about the Snicket file and now he has it. What have I done? He asked.

“ You…” Esme hissed as her crazy eyes formed a glare Klaus’ way. Klaus looked from the murderous woman to Olaf.

“Now let Violet go!” He hissed.

Olaf smirked towards Esme as he turned to face the crowd. “Ladies and Gentleman!” he yelled. “It has come to my attention that this man is an impostor.”

Klaus’ eyes widened when he realized just what Olaf was doing. The crowd gasped. Klaus looked towards Olaf with pleading eyes, shaking his head rapidly. Esme turned on yet another one of the bright lights, this one pointing towards Klaus instead of Violet, whose eyes were slowly starting to open. She was mouthing something but no one on stage was paying attention to the bound girl on the gurney.

“He is not a doctor at all!” Olaf explained, smiling wickedly towards Klaus.

“Y-yes I am,” Klaus cried. “You said so yourself,”

“He’s two children, neither of which have graduated from medical school!” Olaf said reaching out towards Klaus trying to rip his medical coat open. Klaus quickly turned away from Olaf, now facing Esme.

“I-I-in my m-medical opinion,” Klaus said nervously as he watched Esme lean down and grab one of her stiletto heels. She smiled wickedly at Klaus. “I believe these two have lost their minds.”

“Oh, we haven’t lost our minds,” Esme called out with a snarl, “But you’re about to lose your heads, Baudelaires!” she hissed as she swung her heel at Klaus’ medical coat, cutting it apart with ease. The harness that held Sunny was cut, too and Sunny fell to the ground with a thud!

“Sunny!” Klaus cried as Sunny rolled on her back examining herself. Esme’s shoe may have been sharp and long enough to cut through both Klaus’ medical coat and Sunny’s harness but as Sunny examined the front of her outfit, she learned that thankfully she was unscatched by Esme’s shoe. She looked up at her brother and gave him a thumbs up.

Olaf grabbed Klaus’ shoulder and turned him around for the whole crowd to see. “Oh my God!” Olaf cried in an exaggerated tone. “It’s that Baudelaire boy!” he roughly ripped the fake beard from Klaus’ face.

“Baudelaire?” a doctor in the crowd called out. “The same Baudelaire that’s wanted for kidnapping and murder?”

Klaus looked around the crowd and watched as the crowd gasped as they recognized both him and Sunny from The Daily Punctilio. The doctors, nurses, and spectators in the crowd looked at them in horror, only the Volunteers Fighting Disease, who believed that no news was goods news, did not recognize the youngsters.

“That is the Baudelaire boy!” a nurse cried. “I read about them in The Daily Punctilio!”

“He’s a murderer!” Olaf cried as Klaus glared at him. “He helped kill Count Olaf!”

“Who?” Brandon asked.

Olaf rolled his eyes. “He...He’s a very handsome actor,”

“I might not be a doctor but I didn’t kill anybody!” Klaus cried to the crowd, who were all glaring at him now.

“Wait! Weren’t there two murderous kidnapping orphans? Not one?” a spectator asked. “Where’s the girl orphan?”

Esme hurriedly stepped in front of the gurney, shielding Violet from view. “She’s...already in jail,”

“ She is not!” Klaus cried as he rushed up towards Violet’s gurney and with his free hand, he brushed her hair out of her eyes so that everyone could see that she was not Kit Litencoves but actually Violet Snicket. “ These terrible people disguised my sister so they could chop off her head!”

“No...no...no…” Violet pleaded, she slowly but frantically was moving her head, she was trying to move her hands but she couldn’t. Klaus looked towards his sister, who was slowly waking up. He couldn’t help but smile even if she seemed to be having her own panic attack.

“Violet!” Klaus cried happily. Sunny looked up at the gurney happily as well.

Olaf and Esme looked at one another and smirked. “Don’t be ridiculous!” Esme called out. “ You’re the one trying to cut her head off. Look, you’re still holding the knife!”

“ No...no...no!” Violet pleaded drowsily. “ Please...I’m…”

“See, the poor girl is freaking out. She thought she could trust you,” Olaf hissed.

“ I wasn’t trying to kill Violet!” Klaus hissed angrily as Violet was trying her best to escape. She moved her head slowly but frantically from side to side, slowly pulling desperately at her restraints.

“If you’re not murderers,” a doctor asked, “then why have you sneaked into the hospital in disguise and why were you hiding your kidnap victim?” she asked as she pointed at Sunny.

“Brother!” Sunny screamed out, pointing at Klaus. She then pointed towards Violet. “Sister!”

But no one listened to the toddler as another person entered the operating theater. “I think I can explain that,” said the person, it was a familiar voice. But Klaus and Sunny weren’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. In one hand, he was clutching the rings of keys that that three siblings had made from paper clips and Violet’s hair ribbon, and with the other hand he was pointing angrily at the children. “I’m glad to see that you are still here, although you all are a bit blurry. I thought for sure you would have snuck away after your prolonged and treacherous vandalism.”

“Vandalism!?” a doctor cried. “That’s terrible!”

“B-but…” Klaus cried out, backing up into Violet’s gurney.

“It was terrible,”

“Hal…” Sunny began but both she and Klaus were speechless. They both knew they had wronged Hal and that he had every right to be mad at them for tricking him, although Esme was the one who had actually destroyed his library, not them.

“Those two murderous kidnappers and their toddler victim,” Hal said, “pretended to be volunteers in order to work in the Library of Records.”

“They did?” Esme cried, feigning a fake gasp. Klaus and Sunny both glared at her. “You mean they’re murderous kidnappers and phony volunteers?”

“No wonder they didn’t know the words to the song!” Brandon cried.

“Taking advantage of my poor eyesight,” Hal continued, pointing at his glasses. “They made these fake keys and switched it with the real one, so they could sneak into my library and destroy any files about their crimes.”

“No...no…” Violet cried out, Klaus and Sunny doubted she was responding to Hal because she seemed to still be drowsy as if she had no idea what was going on still.

“Hal…” Klaus began as he looked back at Sunny and Violet. Sunny only hung her head in shame as Violet continued to drowsily whimper.

“I thought you three were my friends,” Hal cried.

“We didn’t want to destroy the file,” Klaus explained nervously. “We didn’t mean to destroy anything. I-I’m sorry...we...we tricked you. And I am so sorry about your library,” Klaus said in saddened tone. “B-but we’re not the real criminals here... we’re just kids...trying to survive.” He ran his hand through his hair nervously, glancing around the crowd to see if anyone was believing him. Unfortunately for Klaus, just like when Count Olaf had first accused him and Violet of murder, the crowd before him now looked like the crowd that he dealt with then, when he glanced around the crowd he couldn’t see one face that indicated someone was believing them or that they were on the kids’ side. Not even Hal. He took a deep breath. “The real criminals are…” he began as he glanced around the stage to notice that one person had snuck out when Hal had entered. “No...no…he...he was…” Klaus spun around in confusion. His eyes locked on the rest of the troupe and Esme but he couldn’t locate Olaf. “ Where’s Count Olaf?”

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