I’m not ready to lose her yet. (Eisuke) (SFW)
Fandom: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder (Love 365)
Pairing: Eisuke Ichinomiya x Reader
Warning: dying MC (but not really) *TRIGGER WARNING* There is thoughts about death and dying
Note: Don’t look up kidney failure because you will see how much I am bs-ing this medical thing..... I don’t medical, bodies make me squeamish. I hate blood and guts and -shudders- just no.... so yeah don’t look it up
It was minutes after you started your shift that you were down turning the bed when you suddenly couldn’t suck in a breath. Your lungs were paralyzed and you sat on the bed, your hand on your chest. Alongside your shortness of breath you were feeling nauseous. Your head was spinning and you couldn’t clear your head.
Your head was swimming and you closed your eyes, willing the feeling of puking away. “Hey, _____” your partner called out, Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
She approached you but you held your hand up, if you were sick you didn’t want to spread it to others. Your lungs still felt paralyzed and you felt like you needed to throw up…. You stood on shaky legs and made your way to the bathroom, maybe splashing water on your face would help.
You stumbled to the bathroom and locked the door behind you. Leaning over the counter you turned on the water and splashed your face, it brought very little relief. You continued to gasp, your lungs felt heavy. You looked at your face in the mirror and you knew you looked like shit.
Everything went black after that.
You opened your eyes hours later, Eisuke was hovering over you, a look of concern was etched on his face.
“Eisuke?” you gasped out, your lungs still felt heavy and you could feel that there was an air tube in your nose.
“You scared me” he stated. He sat back as he brought a cup of water to your lips, you sipped gently, “Why didn’t you ask for help?” he asked.
You looked away from him as you could still feel like puking, “Eisuke…. I may be pregnant” you whispered, you didn’t have any explanation for feeling like this other than you may be carrying Eisuke’s child.
Eisuke frowned, “We’ll get you a pregnancy test.”
You shook your head, you didn’t want to learn about something so monumental in a hospital room, and you wanted to be somewhere where you felt safe. You could feel tears prickle and streak down your face, Eisuke captured your tears and whisked them away. “Hey! Hey look at me” he said, when you refused to look at him he grabbed your chin and turned your head towards him, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”
Your lower lip trembled, you didn’t think that you’d be pregnant, you both took precautions. You were relieved when you were discharged from the hospital. Eisuke stood beside you, your shadow for the day.
He was being so sweet but he was also getting on your nerves. So one day after him following you, you turned to him “Eisuke…. I’m going to my friend’s house for a couple days…”
Eisuke was going to pipe up but you continued, “I’m going alone, I haven’t seen her in a while.” He didn’t particularly like that you were going alone, you were still having a shortness of breath, confusion and nausea.
“I’ll be back in a few days. I promise.”
It was two days later that you were headed to the doctor, you wanted to know if you were pregnant or something else.
The doctor came in, the older man looked kindly at you, “We ran some tests, and I have…. Some news for you.”
“Please, tell me doctor.”
He sighed as he sat on the little stool before you, “Well, you’re not pregnant.” He started, he saw the mixed emotions on your face. You were slightly saddened, a little part of you wanted to be pregnant. “But also, your kidneys… they’re failing.”
“Wait… what?” you asked, you didn’t think you heard him right.
“Miss _____” he repeated, “I fear that your kidneys may be failing. I believe we can diagnose your failure tomorrow if you would like to come back so early?”
You could feel a lump in your throat, “Doctor, what will you be doing?”
“Well, I believe your kidneys may be blocked. We can do a simple surgery and unblock your veins.”
You nodded, “Oh, of course… will I be able to return to work after?”
The doctor nodded, “After two days’ rest, I don’t see why not… so long as you don’t do any heavy lifting.”
The next day you were in the surgery room and you were terrified, “Please…. Give me all the drugs you got. I don’t want to feel anything.”
The nurse laughed, “Are you sure?”
“YES!” you didn’t want to know what happened, the nurse nodded and inserted something into your tube.
“Please count down to three for me.” She asked.
“Okay… One… Two….” You blacked out not getting to three.
You woke up later, groggy and in mild pain. The doctor was sitting beside you, “Well, we cleaned what we can but…. It wasn’t it, I’m afraid we will have to do dialysis… and that is essentially what we did today, you should feel a little better now”
You couldn’t help but cry, you didn’t think you could be dying like this. “You’ll be put on the list for a new kidney, but the wait is about two years.”
“Doctor… I would like to go home now.”
“I will give you a doctor’s note for bedrest for two days.” He patted your shoulder, “I will give you a list of support groups that are around.”
It was two days after when you returned to work. Eisuke was once again your shadow as you were mum on your outing. The only thing you told him was that you were not pregnant.
“How was your vacation? Without you here the world was so…. Dull”
You rolled your eyes, “You survived… didn’t you?” you asked, you paused. That phrase had a different meaning for you right now, you might not survive… You could feel yourself getting caught up in the sadness that you didn’t notice Eisuke before your face.
“____?” he asked, “What’s wrong?”
You shook your head, “Nothing, I just miss my vacation that’s all.” You were reaching up a sudden pain shot through you. Gasping you grabbed your guts, ‘damn that hurt’
“____!” Eisuke gasped, by your side in a second, “What’s wrong.”
“I just got a cramp that’s all.” You replied, trying to shoo Eisuke away, “I’m fine, I promise.” Eisuke frowned as he backed off, not believing you.
You continued to clean the pent house when you reached up again but this time you knew you were in trouble…. Pain shot through your body as you collapsed onto the floor, crimson began to bloom on your uniform. Your face pale, ‘Oh no… I must have opened the stitches.’
You blacked out from the pain.
Hours later you woke again, you could smell the hospital room before you could recognize where you were.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
You looked to the side, Eisuke was sitting beside you, looking furious. “What?”
“When you collapsed and began to bleed on the floor, I obviously took you to the hospital.” He sat up, “Why didn’t you tell me?” he accused. “Did you not think could handle it?”
You sat up with a groan, “No, Eisuke. I didn’t want to worry you.”
Eisuke stood then, his hand on your shoulder holding you down. “Why didn’t you trust me?” he asked, the pain in his eyes and voice hurt you as well.
“I… I don’t know.” You replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I’m disappointed.” He turned away from you, “I thought we were closer than that. I love you, but I can’t see you die here.” He left and you felt devastated.
Alone in the room you reflected on what was happening. You didn’t want to be alone, and without Eisuke you felt an overwhelming fear of death.
Curled up into a ball you cried your eyes out, you were thankful when a nurse came in and gave you some morphine enough to put you to sleep.
You were still relatively out of it when you felt your hair being petted. It felt nice, after all this pain and fear this mysterious hand, which you assumed was Eisuke’s hand felt like heaven.
“Doctor, what can be done?”
“Well, we put her on a transplant list. Hopefully her body will hold out long enough.”
“I’m not ready to lose her yet.”
You drifted off back to sleep, Eisuke’s presence helped out so much.
For the next three weeks, dying became the new normal. You officially quit your job, much because of Eisuke wanting to spend every moment with you. This is where you found yourself staring out of the window, the ocean was calm and serene.
You looked out to Pacific Ocean, Eisuke sat beside you. Things were quieter now, it’s funny how dying gave you a new perspective on things. Everything felt so irrelevant now. You enjoyed your time with Eisuke, his usually cocky attitude was gone for now.
“The ocean is beautiful isn’t it?” you asked.
Eisuke nodded, “Yeah, want to go down to the beach?”
“Sure…” you stood, grabbing your phone you wanted to capture everything… give Eisuke something to remember you with.
Before you two could leave your hotel room, Eisuke got a phone call. He looked at the I.D. and immediately picked it up. “Sorry one second” he mouthed to you. You nodded as you wait for him to be done.
“Ichinomiya” he started, “Ah yes!” he turned his back from you, “Oh! Thank you, this is wonderful news….. Yes, thank you. You too. Okay, Good bye.”
He turned back to you, the signature smirk back on his face, causing your heart to flip flop, “Now where were we?” you gestured out “Right, let’s go”
Eisuke was back up to his teasing, and you missed it terribly. You were happy he was becoming the man you fell in love with again. It was with this joy that you collapsed upon the beach, your last thought was that you were happy that you saw the real Eisuke again before you died.
You awoke to the sound of beeps and monitors going, “I’m getting tired waking up in hospitals” you groaned, you saw that you were running your dialysis. The doctor came in not but moments later, “I have some wonderful news for you. Miss _____”
You looked slightly miffed, “Yes?”
“Weve found you a donor”
Your eyes widened, “Wait what?” you asked, “I thought the list was like two years long?”
The doctor smiled, “Yes, but there was a match. We can start surgery tomorrow.”
The surgery went well, of course with Eisuke’s personal pick of professionals. You woke up, sore but everything felt…. Brighter…. Lighter. “Eisuke?” you called out. When he didn’t immediately come to you, you began to panic. “Eisuke?!” your heart rate spiked.
“Will you quite down?” you could hear a shuffle behind the curtain, suddenly the curtain was drawn back, you could see EIsuke in a hospital gown too, “I’m trying to recover here.”
“Wait… what?”
“Now, we can never be apart… I will always be with you.”
“Eisuke…. You didn’t……”
The doctor came in, smiling, “It’s so lucky that your boyfriend was your match.”
Tears burst forth from your eyes, the dam had broken, you sobbed your heart out. Eisuke gave up one of his own kidneys for you! “Eisuke… Eisuke…. Thank you so much.”
You felt the bed dip beside you and the all too familiar sent of him invaded your senses. You hugged him to yourself, “I love you Eisuke.”
He rubbed your back, “I wasn’t ready to let you go, I got all of us tested just in case I wasn’t a match.” He kissed your forehead, “I love you that much that I am part of you forever now.”
