When I arrived at the care home today, I was really stressed. I don't know why, but it's often that I'm especially stressed on Fridays, although the time at the special workplace / day center is shorter on Fridays.
I went to my room with a caretaker to pack out my bag. I was really stressed and couldn't move properly, even with a caretaker with me. My curtains were different than in the morning because of the housecleaning staff. I couldn't stand up from the floor to fix it. Normally, that's a bit stressing but I can fix it on my own or at least with a caretaker. But I was extremely stressed in the situation. I told the caretaker how she should move the curtains, but speaking was hard. Words came out of my mouth they also made sense, but I wasn't able to tell here how she should do it exactly. A meltdown started. She told me she needs to go to another disabled person soon. I told her she should plug in the extension cable under my desk. She did it. Then I took my charging cable and a pack of chips out of my cupboard. I layed down on the floor with my blahaj 🦈🏳️⚧️ as my pillow and plugged my phone into the extension cable. I told her she can go to the other disabled person. I ate chips and called down a bit. Later I went to her downstairs to get help but I still was partly crying.
Then I had worries about legal guardianship and the boss of the care home wasn't there anymore. I called my mom and told her my fears. The fear is that she would do something specific but she told me she will not do it.
Then I started preparing for the carnival parade. I felt mentally unstable so I packed a small bag with candys and chips in my backbag to calm down in case of a meltdown. I was dressed up as a soldier. At first I wanted to wear normal pants under my military uniform pants but it felt very uncomfortable. Then I tried pyjama pants but it also felt uncomfortable. Then I decided that the cold is a less stressful sensory input compared.
Me in my costume: