I’m in fandom hell pls help.
Hear me out, this might get a bit rambling and a bit long but that’s okay.
So, instead of accepting Fistandantilus’s deal, Raistlin maybe doesn’t even meet Fistandantilus? I dunno. Nonetheless, the whole deal thing doesn’t happen.
Raistlin manages to not kill Caramon, though it was a very near thing, because even though Raistlin is filled with fear, and is delirious from pain and overusing his magic, that’s still Caramon there, no matter how much white-hot rage consumes Raistlin over the mere thought of Caramon using magic.
Raistlin knows keep down Caramon doesn’t even have the ability, much less the know-how of how to cast spells at any level at all. This burst of logic, as fragile or spur-of-the-moment it is, it’s what saves Raistlin from using what energy he has left against someone he ultimately knows only cares for him.
Anyway. Test is done, Raistlin lives by the skin of his teeth (maybe technically he did die once or twice while recovering but he survived the actual testing part so he passed), and still gets the red robes.
During the course of the Test, Raistlin inhales, or is cursed with or something, with his crappy lungs. It isn’t Fistandantilus, just another (his hair did turn white from shock) mark of how brutal the Test is and how lucky Raistlin was to survive, especially at his age.
Par-Salian tries to convince the other mages that Raistlin should be given the Eyes of Raelana, but Ladonna and Justarius disagree. Eventually, Par-Salian gives up on the idea.
Now, the mental image I can’t get out of my head is this:
Justarius is crippled in his left leg, also because of events that occurred during his Test. And Raistlin is chronically ill for the same reason.
Imagine, Par-Salian and Ladonna bringing in a newly-tested mages into the library, where Raistlin and Justarius are. They have a huge speech about how the mages should be lucky because they could have come away from the Test so much more worse off than they did, and how they should be very respectful of the Test and to expect that not everyone is physically ‘whole’ and blahblahblah.
The new mages just look at the pair super confused until Ladonna and Par-Salian turn around to see Raistlin and Justarius looking fine. Since they both wear red robes, Justarius can cleverly hide his walking-stick behind Raistlin and it not look to weird because what are mages sleeves. While yes, Raistlin has the Staff of Magius clutched in his grasp, he isn’t actively leaning on it or anything so all the new mages see is two relatively alright looking individuals, one of whom is the Head of the Red Robes, who are both glaring at Ladonna and Par-Salian with righteous fury because they don’t want anyone’s pity, and they do not want to be used as examples for any of the points that Par-Salian and Ladonna brought up because these are things the mages should have known about before they even took the Test.
The whole scenario is just absurd, and even though it’s a library and quiet is a must, it takes only one mage (behind Raistlin and Justarius who can see how the pair are trying to keep appearances but can see Justarius’s leg beginning to cramp up because he shouldn’t be putting as much weight on it as he is. Meanwhile Raistlin’s shoulders are beginning to jerk a little, clearly fighting off a coughing fit), to start laughing.
Then, Raistlin loses it because this is utterly ridiculous, and the laugh turns into a terrible coughing fit that bends him almost double, leaning heavily on the staff. This of course upsets Justarius’s balance, which makes him stumble, and mutter.
This whole stupid thing breaks the ice a little and that gets some of the new mages going, and before you know it even Par-Salian is chuckling while Ladonna is staring up at the roof while begging Nuitari to stop this idiocy.