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oh to lovingly hold your partner's arm with your teeth <3

#canine therian #therian #wolf therian #wolfkin #coyote therian #coyotekin #caninekin #could also count as #dragon therian #dragonkin #ensiger #feelin' gently bitey today #scravenger tracks #horns of chrysocolla #this post is queer btw it's about me & mine boyfriend <3 #thinkin' about this gets my tail all waggy lol #both in a canine way & a dragon way. idk how to elaborate further

been doing some internal questioning that boils down to “is it the auADHD or i am plural in some way???”

and i’m. not sure if i want to know the answer. at least not yet.

#ensiger #possibly plural #this post is brought to you by a monoconscious culture post that hit a lot harder than i thought it would #'wait how long have i been me. when did i stop being the other guy'#also a lot of the Dragonheart Collective's essay points in Dissociation. & internal thought voice.#the only point in Identity disturbances that really hit was -#Feeling like you weren't born in that body & that you simply appeared one day inside of it.#like. i sometimes feel like ''I'' is more than one internally.#like i'm One Person in the way a cartoon character can be animated/storyboarded by multiple artists.#does that make sense as like?? a plural thing???#or is that just the depersonalization & bees in my brain??#also that like. the 'current me' stepped into my body & 'replaced' whoever used to be here. i have (most) of my memories & shit but just.#i'm not totally sure if this is a 'i have grown and changed since i was a child' or 'i'm a different person in every sense of the word.'#i kind of stewed on this questioning a couple years(?) ago when i was first learning about multiplicity. but nothing ever really came of it #bc digging further into it didn't feel useful. all the stuff i was reading didn't feel like it was lining up with what's going on in here #i've recently been doing some reading on monoconscious & median systems but.#i don't want to act on anything until i Know. or at least until i Know More.#also i'm about 90% sure my kintypes are not headmates/alters/etc. they feel like / similar to my gender & not. ''extra Me's'' so to speak

holy shit the metaphor for the kind of plurality i'm possibly experiencing has been staring me Right in the face.

SU Perma-fusions. Fusion-that-didn't-know-he-was-a-fusion till his body was literally split into its core halves.

#ensiger #possibly plural #gonna be using that as a tag to document my exploration with. all this lol #i'm steven in more ways than i figured (fictionkind)

holy Shit the mecha analogy actually works... shockingly well, for my flavor of plurality.

body = mecha robot suit; outter shell.

pilot = me, front anchored guy who's always at the helm.

mech's internal AI = headmate(s). only heard/seen from inside the pilot's cabin.

#possibly plural #ensiger #love the power rangers metaphor but this hits in some way

wanna go off about.... transformer ocs....

#ensiger #this is a warning not a request.#i Will do this. eventually lol

slowly realizing that my gender is (best represented by a) unicorn.

i WILL elaborate, gimme a bit

#ensiger

so i've been kind of ignoring/shoving an aspect of myself to the wayside because it's just. it's indescribably frustrating, for some reason. the thing being that i'm (most likely) a (domestic) cat therian.

it feels right to call myself a cat, but, for some reason, i don't want it to.

is it my coyote-ness that i'm getting hung up on?? a kind of "i can't be a canine and a feline at once, they have such opposing Everythings!" thing i think to myself, even though i'm also draconic & a marten (two species wildly different from either lol)

being a cat may have something to do with already being an animal familiar (archetrope)? mostly because the most common type of familiar is a witch's cat (which lends into being folcinteric), but that's not the Whole reason. this isn't a paratype or strictly one of a few "forms" of being a familiar, i know that much.

augh

#ensiger #therianthropy #therian #folcinteric #archetrope #if it turns out that i'm a warrior cat i may just Scream /j

thinking about meadow-blogging....... hyperfixation go purrrrr like lynx

#would basically post screenshots & post about my silly little adventures lol #ensiger

#ensiger

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