Till had never been the type of idol who was good with crowd work—in fact, he was downright terrible. Rude, belligerent. Un-airable interviews because he swore too much. Not cute or handsome. Not marketable in any way except for his rebellion.
But watching Tenna, Till thinks he can start to appreciate it. How is anyone supposed to resist a call to action like that?
Nervousness and excitement mix together and race up his spine like electricity. It feels like he’s being pulled onto stage by his old leash and collar, dragging him by the neck until he can barely breathe.
But this is the reason he lives.
The thing he was meant to die for.
“ARE YOU READY?!” Till screams into the mic. The crowd in front of him roars to life again. They’re excited. Hyped up.
‘That’s good,’ Till thinks. ‘This song was meant to be sung in many voices.’
Gripping the microphone with both hands, Till sings into it somberly, his bitterness and regret ringing out across Spirale.
“Well, I've been deep in this sleeplessness, I don't know why
Just can't get away from myself
When I get back on my feet, I'll blow this open wide and carry me home in good health
God, it's been so long wide awake that I feel like someone else
I'll miss the way that you saw me or maybe the way I saw myself
But, I came back to you broken, and I've been away too long
I hear the words I've spoken, and everything comes out wrong
I just can't get this together, can't get where I belong
Who do you love?”
“EVERYONE!” Till raises his hand and tries to pump up the crowd as lyrics appear on the stage screens just in time for the chorus. “LET ME HEAR YOU SING!”
“Well, I've been deep in this sleeplessness, I don't know why
Just can't get away from myself
When I get back on my feet, I'll blow this open wide and carry me home in good health
Screaming, Who do you love? Who do you love?
Who do you love?”
Taking the microphone again, Till closes his eyes to sing soulfully. There’s more hope in his voice now, even as it trembles with emotion.
“From fable to fumble, from stable to stumble, nevermore
I'll say goodbye to my demons and all my break-evens, ever yours
I, I won't come back to you broken, I won't stay away too long
Even if words I've spoken seem to still come out wrong
I'll get my shit back together, get right where I belong
Who do you love?”
“COME ON!” He yells to the crowd, hiding the tension in his voice with sheer volume and rasping growls. “LET THEM HEAR YOU! TELL THEM YOU WON’T BE CAGED! YOU WON’T BE PUT DOWN! SING FOR YOUR FREEDOM AND FOR EVERYONE YOU LOVE!”
The crowd resumes singing with thunderous noise, so loud and visceral, the sound almost knocks Till off his feet. They scream and cheer and stop their feet so loud, they shake the stage.
'Well, I've been deep in this sleeplessness, I don't know why
Just can't get away from myself
When I get back on my feet, I'll blow this open wide and carry me home in good health
Screaming, Who do you love? Who do you love?
Who do you love?'
The audience continues the song as the lyrics keep playing on the stage screen. They’re so distracted by singing their hearts out and finishing the song, they don’t seem to notice that Till... doesn’t. He slowly and quietly fades into the background, slipping off stage.
He runs, half blinded by the stage lights in the semi-dark of backstage until he hits a wall. Then, following it to a dark corner, he sinks down to his knees behind some supply and prop boxes.
Pulling his knees up to his chest, he tries desperately to catch his breath, running his fingers along the scar on his neck over and over—trying to ease the feel of ghostly hands there, his eyes squeezed shut as he tries to ignore the familiar voice whispering in his ear.
‘You’re nothing but a burden now. You can’t even finish one song. You’re useless. Useless. Useless. Useless.’