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Me: *Cleaning tack, bridles taken apart across living room floor* Hey, wanna put my bridles back together?
Roommate: HELL no, I'm not stupid.
Me: Why?
Roommate: Because you'd make fun of me
Me: That's the point
Roommate: Uh - huh
Me: Love you!
Roommate: Not as much as you love your horse!
“Has he met your horse yet?”
“No”
“Oh so you’re not that serious”
Conversations with the farrier
Farrier: Stand still
Horse: I am standing still
Farrier: You are being super wiggly
Horse: YOU'RE being super wiggly
Farrier: *sigh*
Horse: Oooohh your hair smells good! Ooo it tastes good too!
Farrier: Stop *pushes face away*
Horse: Rude
Farrier: Right, I'm the rude one
Horse: I'm glad we came to this agreement
Farrier: *face palm*
Hand grazing antics
Me: Ok its time to go in
Horse: No
Me: You can't graze much longer or you will get an upset tummy.
Horse: Fake news.
Me: Lets go, come on.
Horse: I weigh more than you *refuses to be lead*
Me: I'm not gonna play this game.
Horse: *tries to go back for more grass*
Me: No *holds lead rope tight*
Horse: *Glares*
Me: I can stand here all day
Horse: ....
Me: .....
Horse: ....Fine.
Adventures of moving barns...
*Looking at new barn*
Me: So he can't be next to mares or he'll squeal and kick the crap out of the stall.
Barn manager: Ok, no problem
*Day of move in, his new stall is next to a mare*
Me: Hey, remember he can't be next to a mare...
Barn manager: Oh well, she isn't super moody it should be fine we'll try it.
*two weeks later*
Barn manager: Yeah so, he kicked the crap out of the stall so we moved him.
Me: Did I not...did I not say... *facepalm*
Riding down the road
Horse: What are those?
Me: They're sheep you've seen them before, they live across the road from you, this isn't anything new.
Horse: They're scary
Me: No, you've seen them before you'll be fine
Car: *drives by at about 35mph*
Horse: *isn't bothered as usual*
Sheep: *Walks toward the fence*
Horse: AHHHHHH *snorts* They're gonna eat me!
Me: You are four times their size!
Sheep: *walks up to fence*
Horse: Oooh friend!
Me: This is why we can't have nice things
“Don’t touch that you’re gonna scare yourself”
-Me to my horse snorting at wind chimes
Tractors
*tractor drives by to groom arena*
Horse: AH! Scary tractor! It's gonna eat me!
Me: You see this thing literally everyday
Horse: NUU scary tractor! It's gonna eat me!
Me: You have literally been in the arena while it's being groomed.
Horse: Scary tractor!! *farts* *bolts* Ah! It's trying to eat me!
Me: I would like to remind you, you have shown all over the region seeing a lot scarier things and are almost 17.
Horse: It's. Going. To. Eat. Me.
Me: *facepalm*
