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All He Wanted

Posting chapter 4 here because someone requested it so, here you go!! xxxx

Chapter 4: Bull By The Horns

Cherry stared in disbelief at Jay's sullen form standing before her. Hands trembling on the door frame as she held the door open, chest heaving.

They both stood there staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, Cherry's look of incredulity matched by Jay's look of surly determination.

"Can I come in?" Jay asked quietly.

***********************************************

Jay pulled up outside the building, and sat for a while just thinking. He knew that seeing Cherry was going to be hard, he just didn't know it was going to be this hard.

When she had left him standing there, watching her walk away from him and out of his life, she had done so without any real explanation.

"We can't do this..."

Jay had chalked it up to them living different lives in different countries, but if he was honest; that still didn't quite answer the question for him. Something in his gut told him there was more to it than that, and if Cherry had just been any other girl he may not have cared; he would have just moved on to the next.

But she wasn't just any other girl; she was the woman that made him happy, scared and excited all at once. The woman that made him feel like a kid on Christmas morning every time he woke up to her or saw her name come up on his phone.

He needed to know why she had left him after things were going so good between them.

And as he got out of his car, walked into the building and took the elevator to the 20th floor, he promised himself he wouldn't leave without an answer.

***********************************************

They'd been standing in her kitchen for 10 minutes now, not saying anything.

Jay fixing Cherry with an intense look and Cherry trying to avoid his gaze.

He had noticed earlier that her hair was different than the last time he saw her; curly braids now fell over her left shoulder, instead of her usual twist outs or pineapple buns.

He could smell her scent, even at this distance; vanilla with a hint of coconut.

"Natalie's going to be here soon." Cherry blurted out into the deafening silence.

Her panic had been at critical levels since she had opened her door.

What is he doing here? How did he know where I was staying?

Jay chuckled humourlessly. "No, she's not."

Still in his all black attire from earlier, no baseball cap though and the tattoos on his left arm now covered by the black hoodie he was wearing. His nose piercing twinkling in the ambient lighting as he spoke, light glinting off of his soft lips.

Cherry's head snapped back to him. "What do you mean?" She questioned, a panic of a different kind setting in.

Though Jay was literally standing in the doorway, and she against the opposite wall, in her panicked mind things seemed a whole lot closer.

Jay sighed and took a step toward Cherry, meeting her eye making her take an involuntary step back in return, her back now completely against the wall.

"Cherry, we need to talk."

He looked weary, like something was weighing him down. Jay's usually twinkling deep brown eyes were now pensive, his face fixed into an intense stare making Cherry squirm under his gaze, looking at the floor as her mind frantically scrambled for something to say.

Though she was in an emotional turmoil; Cherry could not deny how good he looked, even with the pained annoyance that was painted on his face, his eyebrows arched in expectation as he waited for an answer.

"I..." Cherry started.

Jay was still in his all black attire from earlier, no baseball cap though and the tattoos on his left arm now covered by the black hoodie he was wearing. His nose piercing twinkled in the ambient lighting as he spoke, light glinting off of his soft lips.

He could hear the hesitation in her usually-confident tone, could practically see the cogwheels in her mind turning as she scrambled for an answer to both placate and get rid of him.

But he wouldn't be dismissed so easily.

"Jay... I'm sorry..." Cherry whispered weakly, a single tear escaping down her cheek. "I... I didn't mean to hurt you... I just... I didn't think we could -"

Jay cut her off with a kiss, catching them both off guard, his hands cupping her face as his lips met hers, his emotions taking hold of his actions for a brief moment. The passion and the longing being communicated loud and clear.

Cherry's brain immediately went blank, unable to process anything else except the feel of Jay's lips on hers.

It was a feeling she had been missing - craving - for far too long.

His soft lips.

His soft warm hands.

His smell.

The feel of his firm body against her.

All of it was melting her and her resolve to the core.

It had to stop.

***********************************************

The very first time Cherry first saw Jay... she knew she was attracted to him.

She could tell by the way her stomach filled with with nervous butterflies, the kind of butterflies you get when going down a rollercoaster or opening a heartfelt gift.

He had a warm yet slightly goofy demeanour about him, quick to laugh and even quicker to smile.

Sat in one of those office chairs, idly spinning back and forth as he joked with one of his artists. No cap on his head, his jet black curtained hair gently falling into his eyes as he laughed, his nose piercing sparkling in the glow from the overhead spotlights.

A full sleeve of tattoos on his left arm in which he held a phone, and a compass tattoo behind the ear, stark contrasts to his easy-going and lighthearted character.

Though Cherry hadn't been too familiar with Jay, she had heard little things here and there. She was aware he had achieved a lot and had set a new tone for the Korean music scene.

But as he wasn't the objective of her visit, Cherry didn't plan on paying him any more mind than necessary.

Her whole reason for being in Korea was a 'working holiday' - that is, she got an email from a friend inviting her to come and visit and so, after making a list of all the STEM facilities in Korea and surrounding Asia, she accepted and booked her tickets.

Cherry was not there to get familiar with anyone.

But when she first met eyes with Jay, the familiarity was already evident on both ends. His voice was a melody her heart danced to and every time he spoke it skipped beats.

Though, they hid it well; brief yet polite hellos, a quick introduction followed by light impersonal group chatter, leaving no room for intimate conversation.

However, that didn't last long.

Raw attraction can never be fought, only deferred.

Something they would both come to learn and appreciate.

***********************************************

Gathering every ounce of determination she could muster, Cherry pushed him away, shaking her head almost as if she were trying to shake the feelings out of her head. "No, Jay..." She whispered. "We can't... I can't..."

"Why?" His tone had hardened considerably now, the sharpness of his jaw accentuated by his teeth set on edge.

Feeling Cherry push him away had hurt Jay, badly. But though it hurt, he kept stoical; he didn't come here to let one half-assed push keep him away from what he came for.

He stepped back leaning against the opposite wall again, lifting his foot to rest back on the wall behind him and crossing his arms, fixing Cherry with a hard stare that made her wince.

She had never seen this Jay before; his gaze burning with a simmering anger as he stood regarding her like a tiger ready to pounce.

Cherry swallowed thickly, remembering Jay's plus one earlier as her face settled into one of flimsy defiance, her lower lip quivvering ever so slightly.

"Why do you care? You got over it pretty quickly," she laughed humourlessly, a feeble attempt at making light of the situation but still bowing her head quickly to hide the hurt.

Now it was Jay's turn to swallow.

"You left." He said harshly.

"I did." Said Cherry closing her eyes against the accusation, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jay had wanted to add, "Didn't I mean anything to you?" but he didn't dare sacrifice anymore of his pride.

Cherry stood in silence as she watched Jay regarding her with such smouldering rage. His eyes, though in shadow from his hair falling into his face, shone with such ferocity they practically glowed.

Cherry took in a breath, shaky with uncertainty.

She didn't want to say something that could exacerbate things in any way.

"We were moving too fast," she offered lamely.

"Bullshit!" Jay spat, his body trembling with anger.

His voice, though spoken in a low tone, nonetheless dripped with venomous enmity that Cherry could feel all the way to the pit of her stomach.

Had they been moving too fast? Probably.

But it had been at a pace, and in a direction they both were mutually being pulled in.

So she was going to have to do a lot better than that.

***********************************************

The first night he had met her, she had come to the office. Not on any official business, but as a friend of a friend of someone Jarv knew.

Cherry walked in, and it was as if the air left the room.

Her hair was worn in a twist out that she had piled on top of her head in a messy pineapple, with a white silk scarf as a headband. With her melodious laugh and mellifluous tone, Jay immediately thought of the singing muses in Hercules.

Her warm smile, and easy-going nature belied the font of intelligence beneath. Her Korean wasn't good (but then this was her first time being here), and her personable countenance meant she had no shortage of volunteer teachers in the office.

After a slightly awkward hello, Jay had kind of just sat back and watched, observing her behaviours and mannerisms.

The way Cherry tilted her head when in conversation.

The way her face lit up as she turned her face to laugh.

Her grace.

Her quiet confidence, even in a room of strangers in a foreign land.

And then he had gotten to talk to her.

Really talk.

After coming back from the bathroom to find her seat taken, Cherry took the only available seat next to Jay.

As the group conversation was already on music, through their seperately voiced opinions they fell into their own private conversation, getting into a lively debate on which year was the best for RnB and hip-hop, and paying hommage to the blues singers of the 30s, 40s and 50s.

They didn't get to talk for long, Cherry (and her friend) had only come by to meet Jarv for dinner, but as his session had run a little late, they sat and chatted with everyone while they waited.

Jay himself was supposed to be working. He had only meant to casually partake in the conversation so as not to be rude.

But after Cherry walked in, he found himself subconciously pushing his responsibilities to the side, at the promise of being in her prescence just a little bit longer.

And, all things withstanding; it was a decision he was still yet to regret.

***********************************************

"Cherry, I let you in. I didn't force you, I didn't buy you; you wanted to be there just as much as I wanted you there." Said Jay, in the same hard tone, nostrils flaring. "You didn't tell me we were 'moving too fast' when I gave you the passcode to my home; the place where I live."

He paused here, letting that fact sink in; she literally had unfettered access to his private domain.

Not even any of the AOMG/H1gher guys besides Chase had been to Jay's home before, making Cherry's rapid admittance all the more siginificant and indictive of the deep relationship that had been blossoming between them.

"And I didn't tell you we were 'moving too fast', when I skipped out on performing at HipHop Playa so I could spend time with you in Thailand."

Cherry's head had been bowed as Jay spoke, each point he was making needling her in ways she didn't want to handle.

When Jay mentioned Thailand she involuntarily looked up, her cheeks damp with the tears she had been silently shedding as Jay continued on his emotional tirade.

Thailand had been a trip of a life time, and it had been completely spontaneous. Brought on by a combination of Cherry leaving to go back home, the hard work she had been putting in and Jay's desire to make a positive impact while also giving himself to time to be with her and only her before he had to say goodbye.

They both remembered that trip; her of the feeling when he told her to pack a bag, and he of the look on her face when she realised he had planned something special.

Jay should have been perfoming with some of the boys, promoting their latest single, but since he'd already perfomed it twice on national televison with them, and since it was 4 days before Cherry was leaving for home, he decided he needed to take that time to make sure she would come back to him.

Bringing up a trip she had never asked him for was a little unfair, but Jay wasn't trying to throw it in her face; he was just showing her how inadequate her pitiful reasonings were.

"And now, you want to tell me we're moving too fast?" He finished in a dangerously low tone.

Cherry chewed her lip anxiously as she tearfully gazed up at him. She didn't know what to say, and it was written all over her face.

She was stuck.

After avoiding and practically ignoring her for the whole day, even going to lengths to skip out on a meeting that had been 6 weeks in the making, here Jay was; in her house demanding answers from her.

Though he hadn't touched, spoken to or about her in almost 6 months, Jay had daydreamed this moment over and over every single day since she had left.

What he would say to her, what she would say to him, how they would reconcile and how everything would again be right in his world.

But looking at her now, her cheeks streaked with silvery tears, nervous angst etched onto every feature of that same beautiful face that had haunted Jay's conscious and subconscious thoughts for a whole year, he now realised that this situation was not going to play out in the way he had hoped.

The thought sobered him and he sighed, stepping towards Cherry again, his pent up anger now spent.

Though the frustration still remained, he had softened considerably.

Reaching for her, he wrapped her in a warm hug; a protective blanket Cherry had been missing for longer than she cared to admit.

The last time he had held her like this, she had crushed his heart - and hers.

His arms enveloped around her as he gently rocked her side to side as her tears fell.

Jay was never a person who could be angry for long; he simply wasn't built like that. It took a lot to get him angry to begin with, and even then he would rather walk away, choosing instead to be calm rather than explode.

Him confronting Cherry in this way was so out of character for him, but at the same time it felt necessary. He hadn't been able to get over her no matter what or who he did.

And judging by the way Cherry clung to him, burying her face in his chest; the feeling was mutual.

As he listened to her heartfelt soft cries, he realised he didn't care about the Why anymore; all he cared about was this moment, the chance after so long to have her in his arms again, where she wasn't pushing him away or trying to put up a wall.

Where she leaned on him the same way she always did in the short time they had gotten close to each other; counting on him to protect her from whatever it was out there. Outside of them.

Jay looked down at her; at her long eyelashes wet with tears, her nose red and sniffling. He could feel her trembling against him, and the feeling he had about something being not right about the way she had left intensified.

Jay opened his mouth to speak soothing words which he thought might coax her into a level of comfortability that would allow him to get the answers he was loooking for. And present him with an opportunity to talk her off the existential ledge she seemed to be committing to clinging to.

Until a shrill sound split the still air with its cacaphony, causing them both to jump out of each other's arms and look towards the bedroom, where Cherry's phone continued to ring, and ring, and ring, and ring.

#chapter 4 #jay park #aomg #everything he wanted #ambw fic #angst