EVoY: High priority, actively being worked on. I've been working through removing a few redundant scenes, and I've also been re-thinking Nathan and Max's relationship progression—I've decided I wanted a slightly different, slow-burn- and mystery-focused, tighter direction that, I think, more accurately fits their characters and builds to a better conclusion in Act IV. Once the big edits are over, I'm ready to bring this fic to its end! ✨ There's no need to re-read unless you're so inclined, though the characters and writing should overall be more satisfying. (I curse myself for not having a concrete plot written out when I first started one of the most complicated stories I've ever written, like whyyy🤌)
MCaOBI: Also a high priority. It'll be shorter than my other fics, but I can promise a lot, lot, lot of emotional depth, some twists and turns, and (hopefully) satisfying interpersonal development in this one <3 (I will never pick favorites, but sometimesss this one comes close😬)
SaS: May be put on the back burner until I finish the two above 😩 I'm very excited about what I have planned for it next, and I do hate to hit pause on a cliffhanger!— it pains me as much as it pains you to have to put this on unofficial hold ❣️ I only do this to ensure that the writing and plot are as satisfying as possible.
MOoRD: I have a lot of ideas (trust me), but atm it's my lowest priority, for the sake of my other longfics 😔
Writing has been slower with irl getting busier for me. I do have a few other projects in the back burner + ideation stage, but I don't want to announce anything without a definitive plan and/or confirmation on things 😏, so do keep on the lookout!
A reverse harem with three variants of Leon Kennedy and feminine reader.
~ Masterlist ~ Previous Part ~ Next Part ~
WORD COUNT: 3.7k
SONGS: Daylight - David Kushner and Linger - The Cranberries
CONTENT WARNINGS FOR PART TWO: depression, grief, suicidal thoughts, death idealization, yearning for childhood, reminiscing on girlhood, paranoia, nightmares, monsters, dead looking bodies, time travel, the unknown, denial, trauma, PTSD, hugging, embracing, kissing, first kiss, mentions of readers death
!!!!!MINORS DNI! THIS BLOG AND POST ARE 18+ ONLY!!!!
PART “CHAPTER” TWO:
Your eyes are puffy and stinging. You’ve always hated how weak you are; how easily you fall apart. You thought that you were getting stronger. You truly believed you had hardened from all the adversity you’ve witnessed and endured the past couple of miserable years.
But seeing Leon’s limp body fall into that machine, watching him disappear right in front of your eyes, you feel like that young, terrified little girl again.
The girl who didn’t like scary movies, covering your eyes anytime you thought something even remotely scary was going to appear on screen. The girl who didn’t like to be alone, feeling safer surrounded by others. The girl who relied on a night light and leaving the closet light on because nothing was scarier than the dark.
You want it back. God, you want your girlhood back. You feel physically ill from the pain coursing through your veins and chipping away at your soul. You want your sweet and naive innocence back because regardless of how strong you wish you could be, you’re incapable of it and you can’t endure this. You weren’t built for this. How could you ever fool yourself into believing you could be strong in the face of incomprehensible pain.
You close your eyes tight and will yourself to go back in time. To be in that tiny bed underneath some frilly blanket, comfy in some nightgown with a cartoon character on the front. You’d pull the blankets up to your chin, plushies on either side of your small frame and by god, you’d not just be, but you’d feel fucking safe.
Your blanket would tuck under your feet, protecting your toes from the invisible monsters of your overactive and colorful imagination. And that would remain your biggest concern in life. The only danger to you would be the shadow coming off of some stray jacket, illuminating from the little bit of moonlight shining in through your sheer bedroom curtains.
And you’d squeeze your eyes shut real tight. You’d think about running outside after lunch with your classmates to the playground. Your friend would push you on the swing and you’d wait in line for a turn on the slide. You’d finally accomplish skipping some of the monkey bars as you crossed them.
Your happy place would have you slowly relaxing and unwinding until sleep took you. The imaginary monsters would fade away along with your consciousness.
The morning light would greet you through your bedroom window and you’d sit up. You’d stretch real big and crawl out from under the covers. The fears that stewed within you in the dark would be long forgotten. They’d vanish in the daylight and you would be free of them.
You wouldn’t think about how inevitably night will return and so will the monsters. You’d only think of the present as you got dressed and ready for school. You’d be confident, well rested, and most importantly: peacefully and irrevocably happy.
When you’re young, your monsters don’t chase you into the day. The entire world could be falling apart around you and you wouldn’t even know it. Because when you’re young, you're exempt from the world’s cruelty.
You never anticipate the day it’s all stolen from your fragile arms as it approaches. One day, something that means nothing to everyone else in the world will change everything for you. Your girlhood is stripped from you and the world comes crashing into you. You can beg and plead for that innocence back, but once it’s gone it can’t be undone.
Maybe you weren’t meant for this world, never meant to live past your cherished girlhood. Maybe you’ve lived past your expiration date and that’s why you suffer so deeply.
The world is trying to form a life around someone who shouldn’t be here. People will tell you it’s better to have loved and have lost than to never have loved at all. But they never tell you none of it would’ve ever mattered had you never been at all.
You feel broken to your core. You’re not the little girl running barefoot through the grass chasing fireflies anymore. You’re the woman who just watched the man she never got to love die in front of her, who can only think of the relief she’d feel to just follow after him, join him somewhere better than here.
Anywhere is better than the concrete floor as the world goes on around you while yours feels as if it’s coming to an end. How can no one else feel the complete utter loss?
“Hey, please listen to me,” the man with his arms wrapped around you tries to get your attention. You’ve been ignoring every attempt he’s made since Leon died. But his grasp on you has never wavered. As you fell apart, the man held you and your pieces together, keeping you from self imploding and becoming nothing but a stain on the floor.
“He’s going to be fine. Just be patient.”
Your eyes finally dart up to his face. “Fine? What part of any of this gives you the impression that everything will be just fine?” Your voice wavers, weak from sobbing and screaming.
“I wish it was easy to explain, but I think you have to see it for yourself. He’ll be right back here soon, I promise. You have my word, I swear to you,” his voice is completely sincere, but you can’t help but huff out a laugh at his words. You did see whatever this was for yourself. You don’t think this man can defy the laws of physics, so how the fuck can Leon be okay?
“Let me show you something.” He stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab. It’s not like there’s anything else for you to do, so you let him pull you up and guide you to the other side of the room.
He stops in front of the body on the floor. The man is on his side, facing away from you so all you can see is his limp form.
You look up at the man next to you with confusion.
You’re finally able to take in his appearance. The man has dark brown hair and a beard to match, both tidily trimmed. His dark eyes are complemented by his dark, prominent eyebrows. His broad shoulders match his large presence, his arms damn near the size of a person’s torso. The man could crush your body within the palm of his hand and not break a sweat. It’s intimidating, no matter how gentle he seems.
“You see him breathing, right?”
You look down at the body beneath you and see a slow heartbeat. At least he’s not dead, but it doesn’t change how weird it is that he fell at the same time that… Actually you’re not going to think about that right this second. If you want to properly process any information at all, you have to focus on what’s in front of you and not the tsunami growing inside of you.
You nod slowly, prompting the man to continue.
“Walk around to his other side and get a good look at his face.”
You raise your eyebrows in confusion, not following with what this has to do with Leon being somewhere in a tank allegedly alive and well.
“Go ahead, it can’t hurt to look. Just don’t touch him. What he’s going through right now is still super new and we don’t know how outside forces on his body will affect him.”
Sighing, you give in and slowly walk around the man on the ground. His face is tucked against the floor so you have to squat down to see it properly.
You take in the man's features and immediately recognize him, or who he looks like more accurately.
“Um,” you pause as your brain tries to formulate words while it still feels like mush, “He looks like Leon.”
“He does?”
“Well, yeah, he does. He looks like Leon maybe, I don’t know, 5 or so years ago.” You look up at the man, searching his face for answers but not finding anything. You’re not even sure what you’re looking for and it’s starting to irritate you how he isn’t actually explaining anything.
“It is.”
“Come again?” You question.
“It doesn’t just look like Leon from 1998, it is Leon from 1998. That’s where he’s from.”
You laugh as the man jokes with you. Now isn’t the time for stupid jokes, but it feels good to laugh. Maybe he knows you need to laugh after the breakdown of the millennia.
“I’m serious. And the man up above the tank?” He points up at him and your eyes follow. “That’s Leon from 2014, from the future. He’s the reason we’re all here, but he’ll explain that to you more when you’re ready.”
You just stare up at him, waiting for him to drop the bit but he doesn’t falter.
“I know we’re far away from him, but doesn’t he look like an older Leon? And it’s pretty crazy that the man on the floor looks exactly like Leon used to. I wouldn’t lie to you, especially at a time like this. You may not believe me now, but it will start to make more sense. Well, as much sense as it can make.”
You continue to stare at him, the face crack has to be coming soon. Much to your surprise, his face remains deadass serious.
You rub your eyes, trying to relieve the ache from the dryness. Willing them to refocus and make things make sense.
You look back down at the man on the floor with the dirty blond fringe, the soft jawline with supple but plump lips. He’s so goddamn beautiful and unmistakingly Leon, just as you remember him from Racoon City.
“R-Rookie?” Your voice breaks. You feel the need to cry but there’s just no more tears left for you to cry. The rivers have run dry.
Your body aches with the need to reach out and touch him. To feel his soft skin and confirm he’s real and right here in front of you. Something to assure you this isn’t some twisted dream you need to wake up from.
But that’s wishful thinking. Your emotions and deep rooted pain is too intense for it to be a dream and you know it. Your brain could never concierge up something like this. Your brain could never allow you to stay asleep as your heart breaks. You always wake up when the nightmare gets too bad, and it’s been beyond terrible since the moment these men showed up.
“We’re ready to wake one of them up now. Which one do we pull out, Chris?” The man at the functions panel calls over to us.
“Rookie.” The man that you now know is called Chris answers almost immediately.
“And does the senorita agree?”
Your head darts up and your eyes connect with the other mans.
“Please.” Your voice is barely a shaky whisper.
He nods his head, his shaggy dark brown–almost black hair falling back over his shoulder as he focuses back on the panel.
You look back over the sleeping Leon, you can’t help the small smile that slips out as you admire the sweet rookie. Maybe you’ve gone crazy and this is all a delusion, a way for your brain to cope with trauma, but you’re so happy to see his younger self. He still has that boyish look to him, a hopefulness about him even while fast asleep.
A bittersweet feeling creeps up on you. You watched as the light in his eyes slowly dulled out. As the horrors he’d seen and people he’d lost slowly chipped away at his mental health. It’s so sweet to see him and remember the happy go lucky rookie he once was, but it’s such a bitter pill to fucking swallow knowing how it’s all ripped away from him quicker than he can even process it.
He still hasn’t had that time to process everything that’s happened over the past few years. You’ve always encouraged him to go to therapy and come to terms with it all, but he isn’t ready to cope with the trauma. If he can push it away, maybe, just maybe it’ll be less real. He wouldn’t need to cope with it if he just never allowed himself to get into it.
Leon groaning on the ground beneath you pulls you from your thoughts. You fall to your knees as you fight to keep your hands at your side. You don’t want to hurt him and no one has told you if it’s safe to touch him yet.
His eyes twitch as he rolls onto his back.
“Leon?” You speak quietly, hesitantly. His eyes finally snap open as he looks over at you.
A smile breaks across his face despite him wincing in pain against the unforgiving concrete floor. “Funny seeing you here.”
“Yeah,” you speak on a huff of air. Because of course he’s joking and spouting out some bullshit one liner at a time like this.
You reach your hands out in an offer to help him up and he slowly obliges. His eyes widen as you actually use your strength to help pull him up.
“Okay, muscles. When’d you get those?” He says with amusion filling his voice.
“Well, I’m not just some archivist for the police department anymore.”
“What happened?” His concern and confusion is clear as he tilts his head slightly. Did they pull Leon from before the outbreak? Does he not know of the horrors you faced through those dreadful late September nights?
“What time is it, like, where you’re from?”
“Um,” he closes his eyes as if deep in thought. “September 1998. Like the 20th was when these assholes showed up.”
So he hasn’t lived through the outbreak yet. Interesting.
He started with the RPD in early September, before everything went to shit. You didn’t start much earlier than he did–some time mid summer. You two only talked briefly when you would run into each other throughout the station. You didn’t form a bond until after that night. A zombie apocalypse and killing the rotting shells of your former friends and colleagues will do that to you. The giant fucking tyrant and monsters didn’t help either.
“Do you know why you’re here? Why either of us is here?” You ask, finally feeling like maybe you’re ready to talk about it. You trust Leon more than anyone else. This is still your Leon, just from the past you suppose. It’s still weird to think about, but there’s bigger issues at hand currently.
“Hardly. They’ve explained some stuff to me but I don’t understand any of it. Guess I’m just here for the ride.”
Your heart sinks at his response. The one person you trusted to be honest and explain things to you doesn’t know what’s going on either.
Chris speaks up, “He’s here to help you. Sure, you could recognize an older Leon but you’d know a younger Leon. We could’ve left him out and just came back here to your current Leon, but Leon wanted you to be comfortable. He wanted to do everything he could to help you understand and just believe us in general.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “But why? Let’s say this is time travel or whatever the fuck, why are you doing any of this? What’s the end goal?”
“I think it’d be better for Leon to explain it to you.” You whip your head towards the Leon standing beside you, but Chris shakes his head and continues, “Not that one. The older version. We’ll call you Rookie, you know, just to make things clearer.”
“I don’t know how this could ever be clearer.”
“Maybe we should put you back to bed, Rookie.”
“Maybe we-”
Rookie is cut off by the man at the control panel speaking again. “I’m going to wake up the big boy now.”
You and Rookie go silent as Chris joins the other man at the panel.
“Do we really need to wake his grumpy ass up yet, Luis?”
“Don’t you worry. She’s here now so he’ll be in better spirits.”
“You’re so sure?”
“No,” Luis turns to face you. “Hey if Leon is being an asshole, feel free to put him in his place for us. You’re the only one who might be able to.”
Leon on top of the platform shoots up from where he’s laying with a loud gasp. He massages his temples as his chest heaves.
“Fuck, that’s the last time we have to do that right? Shit’s fucking painful.”
Luis speaks in a taunting voice, “Good morning sunshine. Wake up on the wrong side of the bottomless vat?”
Leon doesn’t speak, only shooting daggers at Luis with his eyes. Luis just shakes his head as Leon climbs slowly down the ladder.
“It’s the last time,” Chris does his best to assure Leon.
“Fantastic.” Leon marches over to the control panel, before crossing his arms over his chest.
“We’re doing this all for you. You remember that right?” Chris arches an eyebrow at Leon.
“Doesn’t make it any more comfortable.”
Luis and Chris shake their heads at Leon’s attitude before quietly talking amongst themselves. Leon just stands there, staring off into the empty vat of liquid.
“Leon?” You speak quietly, but Leon instantly hears it. Almost as if he’d be listening and waiting for your voice.
He whips around and looks over at you. He doesn’t move a muscle once his eyes meet yours. His eyes well up with moisture and unspoken emotions. You can see his chest rapidly rising and falling. He looks like his body is vibrating purely from intense thoughts and feelings, raging inside of him until his body is left paralyzed, unable to feel anything besides the deep, dark ache.
In an instant, something snaps inside of him and he’s taking long strides directly in your direction. Your breath hitches in anticipation as he reaches you in a mere seconds, taking you into his arms and wrapping his biceps around your neck. You’re pulled against his chest before your brain can even catch up, before it can even process that he’s hugging you.
Despite the anxiety of being in such close proximity to him, you’re also overcome with an overwhelming calmness. You melt beneath his touch and allow yourself to relax completely within his arms. You’ve never felt anything quite like this before. Nothing has ever felt so perfect in your entire life. Nothing’s ever felt this fucking right.
He nuzzles his face into the top of your hair, breathing in so deeply, as if you are his life support machines and he’d cease to exist without you against him. And you hadn’t realized it until today, but it’s the same way for you. Who are you without him? You’d be the first to admit it’s super unhealthy to feel this way, but it was never intentional. You feel like you belong right here and it makes your heartbeat stutter to think that maybe he feels the exact same way.
He releases his grip on you and pulls back just enough to look down at your face. His hands cup your cheeks as he takes you in, looking as if he’s in an absolute trance. As if he can’t believe you’re right here in front of him. You’ve never felt so adored or appreciated as you do while he stares at you with this bewildered look on his face.
Your eyes instinctively close and your brain is slow to catch up with what’s happening. Your eyes dart open again once you process the fact that his lips are against yours. He’s kissing you. You’ve never kissed Leon before.
Of course you’ve thought about, fantasized about him in ways you could never speak out loud. It feels better than you ever imagined and it has your eyes falling shut once again. Before you realize it, you’re wrapping your arms around his waist tighter, pulling him even more closely into you. You cling to him as if you’re an open wound and he’s the pressure keeping you from bleeding out completely. You’re the wound and he’s the fucking suture.
You know it’s fucked up to have never admitted your feelings for Leon out loud before, and yet, you’re here lip locked with his older self. None of it makes any fucking sense but somewhere deep inside of your soul, it’s the only thing that’s ever made any sense at all.
When he deepens the kiss, you welcome him into you without any objections. You let him piece you back together with nothing more than his touch.
He releases your face and slides his hands down your body until he reaches the back of your thighs, pulling your feet off of the ground so you’re forced to wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his midsection.
You know somewhere in this room are three other people, or rather two other people and another version of Leon, but you can’t find it within you to care. To even allow yourself to focus on having any sort of shame when he clearly has none. You’ve never needed anything more than you need this man right fucking now.
You know the fact you’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster all fucking day is amplifying your need, but it feels so good. You just want to feel good, you want him to make you feel good.
Your lips finally separate and your foreheads press into each other. You stay there perfectly still as you breathe each other’s air. Your breath is his and his breath is yours.
“Le-Leon,” you stutter out breathlessly but he just shushes you. His lips grazing yours as he continues to hold you so close, unable to withstand even a centimeter existing between the two of you.
He pulls back so he can look directly into your eyes intensely.
“I’ll never let anything happen to you again. You’re not dying on me this time. I don’t want to live without you anymore, I can’t fucking do it, okay? A life without you isn’t a life worth living for me.”
A gift for @a-slight-sweet-fiction , both for their birthday and to celebrate the seven year anniversary of Every Version of You in just a couple days! I feel so grateful not only for the existence of this fic (which helped me get back into the Night Vale fandom after taking a break for far too long), but also for Alex's friendship as a fellow writer and artist! Thanks for being amazing—here's just one of many scenes from EVOY that has lived in my head rent-free since the very first moment I read it <3
A semi-submersible vessel for safe and feasible underwater exploration. This is in line with breaking the notion that water adventure activities and environmental responsibility are hard to coexist.
Clear from the naming convention, the zero-emission craft is inspired by the amphibious Playptus mammal.
In dreams we can get away, but I don’t wanna live that lie; I’ll stay awake for you, I’ll keep chasing you until the end of time.
...d'you ever get so invested in a fanfiction and so deeply attached to AU versions of characters very far removed from canon that it practically rivals your obsession with the source material?
Since April, that fic for me has been @a-slight-sweet-fiction's epic ongoing Kevcilos AU longfic Every Version of You. And at time of posting, Ch 99 has just been published!!! It's a long read, but well worth it. If you have any sort of attachment towards Kevcil or Kevlos or Kevcilos, I highly recommend you check it out.
It's deeply good! I'm deeply emotionally devastated! I'm deeply attached to a version of Kevin/Cecil where they've both had their lives destroyed by Strex even though their plotline is only about a quarter of the chapters of the whole fic!
It's about finding love and being loving in a life that's been so harsh. It's about moving on and second chances. It's about fearing loss but being grateful that the good even existed at all and clinging so so tightly to it while it's there. It's just [gestures wildly]!
Oh, and one last thing! MAJOR spoiler for EVOY Ch 96 under the cut.
Save the Date for the marriage of Kevin Paloma & Cecil Palmer on March 15th, 20XX, in an Other Desertworld!
LISTEN. LISTEN. I predicted that they'd get married as a joke but IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING AND I'M SUCH A FUCKING MESS ABT IT. They may not be able to send out actual Save the Dates or wedding invitations, BUT I MADE THEM ONE ANYWAY BECAUSE THAT WAS AN UNBEARABLY SAD THOUGHT. I'M SO SO NORMAL ABT THEM (<- lying)
(To clarify, March 15th is the in-universe date of their wedding, as confirmed by the author. The wedding chapter will likely be published irl sometime in February.)
i finally finished this jk oneshot after 383838 yrs shsh i might post it soon. after i edit the covers (gon post it on wattpad 1st tho cos ye but i'll post the link here too.) i'll post the whole fic here too, but it might take a lil longer cos i wrote it here on my phone but saved it on wattpad and Ugh when i pasted it here, it was shit so yea.
