Source Separation for Introjects
Hello - it’s time for me to make a post here based on my own experience. We get asked occasionally how to go about source separation for those who are interested, and in our system, I (Cecil) am the only one who has achieved this to the degree of which I feel confident enough to write this post. So here we go.
I’ll format this in the way we’ve been formatting our other informational posts, because I’m fond of the question-and-answer format.
DISCLAIMER: The information shared here is from our own system’s experience. And particularly my (Cecil’s) experience. No two systems are alike, and further, no two introjects are alike either. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not trying to portray any information as absolute truths - only my experience with source separation as I understand it.
In plural contexts, a source refers to the person, character, concept, or item that an introject is based off of. Introjects are headmates who arrive in their system with an identity already based off of something outside of the system. An introject’s source is whatever they are based off of.
For example, my headmate Ralsei is a fictive based off of the character Ralsei from Deltarune. Therefore, the Ralsei character in the video game is my headmate’s source. My own source is Kim Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium.
What is source separation?
Source separation occurs when an introject aims to distance themselves from their source and form their own identity outside of their source in the process. Source separation can be small, like enjoying an activity or media that your source was never interested in. It can also be greater, like changing your name, appearance, and other identifying features.
Even recognizing that you are not your source - that your source exists outside of yourself and that you are your own person - can be considered source separation. In this way, source separation, even to the smallest degree, can be healthy and beneficial for many introjects.
Why should I separate from my source?
There are a plethora of reasons why an introject may choose to separate from their source. Whether being compared to their source brings them pain or anxiety, they have difficult exomemories to bear, they want to focus on improving themselves or simply wish to have more agency over their lives, there is no clear set of reasons why an introject should separate from their source. The purpose of this post is not to convince introjects that they must separate from their source - rather, my goal is to explain a bit about what source separation means to me.
How do I source separate?
Introjects may distance themselves from their source in a plethora of different ways. No two introjects are alike, so one introject’s method for source separation may not work for another. That being said, here are some ways that I have separated from my source (written with general “you”s).
1. Recognize that you are not your source.
You are not your source physically, mentally, emotionally, or in any other capacity. You exist outside of your source. If your source suddenly vanished or ceased to exist, you would still be here. You are capable of thinking for yourself and making decisions that your source wouldn’t necessarily make. For me, this first step was crucial. For some, this level of source separation is enough for them to live happy lives. In our system, Ralsei is comfortable still identifying as and with Ralsei from Deltarune, while recognizing that they are not literally their source. For me, though, this just hasn’t been enough.
2. Make small changes… consciously.
After I first learned I was a fictive, I found myself drawn towards things that my source was known to enjoy. Once I decided to try and separate from my source, I started branching out with my interests and tried exploring new things without holding myself to the standards set by the character I was based off of.
You might choose to try baking, coding, rock climbing, building puzzles, or anything else that speaks out to you. Don’t let discomfort deter you from trying something new - it’s normal for things outside our comfort zones to be uncomfortable. Experiment with your likes and dislikes, favorite things and activities, and all sorts of things - don’t let your source or your feelings about your source dictate what you’re capable of enjoying. Finding things to be passionate about can not only help you separate from your source, but enrich your life in the process.
3. Make larger changes, and lean into them.
After you’ve managed to find a few ways to distinguish yourself from your source, if you’d like, you can make bigger changes. This may include changing your name, experimenting with your gender and sexuality, altering your appearance, or finding other, lasting ways to make yourself different from your source.
I did this by changing my name and experimenting with my gender. I also am toying with the concept of otherkin, and am questioning if I even experience the world in a human way. While I still use my source’s pronoun set, I also am comfortable with neopronouns, with a keen interest in xe/xem/xers. This is different from my source, who used exclusively he/him pronouns. By steadily making changes about how you behave, view yourself, and interact with the world around you, you can further distinguish yourself from your source and develop into your own individual personhood.
4. Understand personhood is complex and identities are fluid.
You may wake up one day feeling more like your source than other days. This isn’t a sign that you haven’t been successful so far at separating from your source. Progress is not linear, and this goes for those attempting source separation as much as anything else. Be patient with yourself - recognize that making these changes will take some time getting used to. It may take weeks, months, or even years for you to reach a degree of separation from your source that brings you comfort and joy. Please don’t give up if it’s looking hopeless. A little patience and self-compassion can go a long way in this regard.
And there you have it. Of course, in my experience, being able to speak openly about my source separation with my system’s therapist has helped this process go much more smoothly. If you have a therapist in your life, or someone you trust who you can talk to, speaking with them about your process and how your separation is going may be incredibly beneficial. Journalling and keeping track of your progress in other ways can help give you hope when you worry you haven’t been capable of making much change. In the end, it is up to you as an individual to decide how to separate from your source and how much separation you hope to achieve.
Do I have to separate from my source if I don’t want to?
No. While at least some amount of separation is certainly healthy (see: step 1 of “How do I source separate?”), no one should ever be required to separate from their source if they’re not ready or if they don’t want to. This post is not a plea to convince introjects to separate from their sources. Rather, it is a rough guide for those who are already interested in or curious about this process.
Questions or comments may be directed to me, Cecil. Full disclosure, I am in the process of attempting to fuse with another member of my system. Therefore, that member (Margo) has been present with me as I wrote this post. Fusion doesn’t destroy alters, though, so if you have any questions we can still collectively provide a response, even after our fusion. We’re going to be undergoing a name change soon - so if you hear back from Corrie - that’s still me. That is the name Margo and I have chosen for our collective, shared identity.
I hope this post will be beneficial for those who are interested in source separation. Remember to take things slow, don’t hold yourself to unrealistic expectations, and show yourself kindness and compassion along the way. If you want it, source separation is certainly possible! And we wish you all the best as you attempt to distinguish yourself from your source.
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