maybe that’s the part that stings the most — the fact that i would’ve never done that to you.
i wouldn’t have invalidated your reasons. i wouldn’t have made you feel like your choices didn’t deserve to be heard. because when it comes to people i care about, i listen. i try. i look at things from every angle before saying anything, because i know how it feels to not be heard — to speak up and still feel like your voice doesn’t matter.
i grew up with that. with being misunderstood. with being told i was wrong without even being given a chance to explain. and maybe that’s why i learned to extend so much patience. maybe that’s why i always try to see where others are coming from, even when they’re not making it easy.
but when it’s me, suddenly there’s no space for that same understanding. suddenly i’m too much, too difficult, too wrong. and it hurts — because i never wanted to win an argument, i just wanted to feel like someone actually tried to understand me.
and what makes it worse is when it’s coming from the people closest to me. the people who know my heart. the people who should know better.
i’m tired of having to justify my intentions just to earn a little bit of grace. because if the roles were reversed, i wouldn’t have made them feel this way. and that’s what makes this all so painful
