ASKS / @florashis .
"Hmmn, a story about our parents?", there was a pause and a bit of tension from the sudden question, "Let me think...Oh! I think I have one you'll love."
things have been discouraging , for lack of a better word , & something in her felt the need to prod at past memories . in response to her question , she feels the eldest hesitate in remembering the past / shinobu knows that it's more than hard to reminisce on these things , but the curiosity of a young mind has gotten the better of her . faint creaks radiate from the bed frame as the girl shifts her weight to her elbows . she leans towards kanae , hands placed at either side of her cheeks & head tilted up to listen attentively to her sister's words .
" oh ! i think i have one you'll love . " kanae's sweet voice lifts with each syllable , following the way her hands lightly clap together . she begins as if it were something out of a story book ( on a sunny spring day ... ) & with each word she lovingly crafts the memory into existence . in her trademark cheerfulness , she begins to bounce from tangent to tangent . she describes how once they visited the apple orchards with little shinobu on her hip the whole time , clinging to her sister's robes & looking at the huge trees in awe .
" ... & when you took a bite out of that apple i gave you , your face scrunched up like it was a lemon ! i guess i gave you a sour one . " kanae adds , a giggle trailing behind .
shinobu finds herself forcing a smile . in stark contrast to the way her sister's heart seems to be soaring as she recalls how things used to be , she feels her heart sinking as she realizes how little she herself remembers . although the way kanae describes each moment paints vivid pictures in her mind , there is hardly a sense of nostalgia . in fact , she finds herself missing in every scene .
kanae recalls how their mother would bring her youngest daughter sweet glazed bread from the nearby village . shinobu does not remember this .
she also speaks of how she would hold shinobu , small & soft , against her chest as the two would stargaze on summer nights . she does remember this .
after a brief pause , kanae perks up . " you know all those teas you like to make , right ? " shinobu nods .
" & you know my favorite one ? " another nod . " i know this sounds weird , but that one reminds me a lot of home . if home had a smell then that would be it , i think ! when i smell it brewing i just think back to our parents . "
shinobu's eyes shift to the sheet she had balled in her fists . she recognizes the tea in question . one of her simplest blends ; chamomile with hints of lemon balm . what she does not recognize is the scent of home . as kanae rattles on about other things , carried away as she always is , she finds herself wracking her mind for what smells like home to her .
each time she uproots another memory / another scent wafting beneath her nose over & over / she can smell nothing but the light , clean aroma of kanae's favorite flower . she can only think of how her sister always smells of nature . how she always smells of morning dew , of freshly picked flowers , of fresh spring air . she comes to realize that home was never quite attached to the memory of her parents as she always thought it was .
it was attached to the memory of her sister . it always has been , & it always will be .
as the story - telling session dies down , shinobu strains to put a smile on her face . she tells kanae that she's thankful for everything she said & everything she's done . her small feet plant themselves on wooden floors & she makes her way out of the room . she brings her internal conflict , her newfound sense of home with her as she lies in bed .
family has always been important to her , but she finds that her perception of family has been wrong all along .
