#fonz's journal

[q-fonz]

Voltron S6 destroyed me and hfffffff feels so good, hurts so bad. I really need to watch it again though to really appreciate all the details that went into it.

[q-fonz]

Hi! Just got out of the theatre from watching HTTYD3 (yes, I know that's not the name but I'm abbreviating it like that for short). If anyone wants my spoiler-free review or if you have any questions about it, let me know~

[q-fonz]

Coming off of hiatus to say I watched all of Voltron S5 in one go and it suddenly was 6 in the morning BUT BOY WAS IT WORTH AND BOY DO I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT IT

[q-fonz]

For those of you who care to know what's been going on with me: a life update, because I have many, many things that I've been keeping in my head lately and I need to write it down somewhere or else I will forget. Normally, I would use Tumblr to write these longer reflective-type posts, but since my computer decided to log me out of my account, and I'm too lazy to sign back in, Facebook will do for now. This really seems just more like a laundry list of things I'm showing off about and complaints... but anyway, here goes:

The Good:

I'm 20! Thank you to everyone who wished me a good birthday. I did have a good day, and even though I don't feel any different than before, it's still nice to finally start the second decade of my life. (I know; some of you are sneering at me because I'm so young. Well, I'm also laughing at you because you're so old. Hah.) 

I'm at a good point now where I can say that I've made a few good friends, and we do meet often enough to talk and do fun activities together. Also, these friends come from all sorts of different backgrounds, but shared common interests allows for bonding. It's good to meet people who are similar to me and at the same time, respect my own interests. (Believe it or not, I find this to be very challenging, which may be why it's actually taken this long since I've moved out to actually start up my social life...) It may be corny to say, but I do feel as if my life has gained a new meaning. I am constantly being exposed to different viewpoints, and at the same time, able to share my own experiences, which results in building friendships that (I hope) last for a very long time.

Can't talk about new friends without talking about old ones. I'm also very happy to continue to keep in touch with some people. It's good to know that you also have an interest in keeping our friendship alive, and knowing that I also am bad at reaching out, I am eternally grateful that you still do for me. Trust me when I say I appreciate it. It may not always show, but I really do.

In addition, as you may or may not be aware of, I have officially confirmed my program in university; I'm majoring in international management, with a concentration in international business. Over the summer, I was successfully able to transfer into the Bachelor of Commerce program, and while it's still not "easy" by any means, I do enjoy it so far, more so than last year's classes. And so I do believe this is a step in the right direction for me.

I've also received word of some good news recently (and hopefully some more things to come), which I am super excited to share about as soon as everything can be confirmed!

The Bad:

Here's the thing: just because I'm majoring in something doesn't mean I'm going to necessarily be doing that thing post-graduation. This leads to a whole other discussion about how I see myself in the future, etc. Not something I want to be thinking about quite yet (and something I need to train myself to not do.) Let's not pressure me about my future, and just focus on day-to-day things, eh?

If the me from two years ago could see the me today, I would slap myself. I'm not going to elaborate more on this, but this is for me and I know what this means. [Life lesson to learn: some things are inevitable. Acknowledge it, accept it, move on.]

Shorter daylight, first snow: causes for the onset of seasonal affective disorder. Meh.

This may seem like a minor thing, but I've actually felt a lot of my creativity drop recently, resulting in a lower post rate on social media. Less concerned about the social media though, more concerned about my creative abilities. Because photography used to be something that I had such a passion for, and now I even have to force myself to bring my (phone) camera out to use? I don't know how many photo opportunities I've missed already just because I had a lack of desire to take out my camera. I like to use pictures to visually document memories, just like most other people, but I'm afraid with the way it's going, I'm not going to remember much from this time period of my life... [sad face]

I know it's already near the end of the term anyway, but my motivation is quickly dropping and I don't want to have to go through my finals. I'm just not excited for many of things that I have to face within the upcoming few months, you feel?-Is my life in balance now in all respects? Nope, not even close. While it is better than before, I still have much to improve on. (And with limited time and motivation in a day, it seriously is hard to factor everything in.)

The Ugly: 

The weather. Ugliest thing to exist. I don't need more for this section; this hopefully tells you how much I hate the weather.

tl;dr first semester of second year of university life here in Montreal is coming to a close soon. Compared to last year, I am much happier now with my decision to go to McGill. I recognize the many opportunities it has for me, and I realize that if I hadn't chosen the decisions I have, I wouldn't be where I am today, surrounded by many good people, and overall, just very fortunate. Sure, I can probably list enough complaints to even tire myself out, I do think that right now, this very exact moment, is one of the most beautiful moments in life. And I sincerely hope future me can remember this feeling.

~끝~

[q-fonz]

WordPress, I had more faith in you -.-

[q-fonz]

Tumblr-folk, I hit that bump in the term where work just increased ten-fold. 

All the classes which have only assigned readings in so far, all of a suddenly now have essays and tests and group assignments, and I’m trying to manage that along with my extracurriculars (being on two club boards and managing so many events! Yay~) and personal life (e.g. improving Korean). Just ALL these things that just appeared on my plate at once and I’m admittedly a little overwhelmed. Doesn’t help that I frequently get home at around 8pm on most days. I feel physically exhausted, but also like I’m getting a lot of stuff done, so productivity’s good.

Some good stuffs:

I’m actually on top of my workload so far :o but we’ll see how that goes going forward

Actually forcing myself to go and be social has yielded some... fun results. (I’m meeting so many new people o_o) Went apple picking last weekend with MVSA famjam and just signed up for a dance workshop happening next weekend. How am I even balancing everything?

freaking beat Rasputin I hate this game

Last night I had dinner with my 대구에서 온 친구 that I met at the language exchange last week, and I realized, I think I really like helping other people learn languages. Maybe a potential avenue for... something? Maybe. 

Oh yeah also, he’s really cool. He’s here for 6 months to learn English, but he’s alone in the meantime (last week he spent 추석 alone T__T), and it’s just nice to be able to help him with English (and help him not be so alone) while he helps me with my Korean. 

But so yeah, I’ll be in and out of Tumblr as I try to adjust to this new schedule. Hope it all works out~

[q-fonz]

Hi! I’m still alive, amazingly. First day of new semester was yesterday -- a Monday schedule. It’s been a slightly hectic past few days/one week, since I just moved back to Montreal on Thursday and immediately had class the day after, so I was feeling a bit tired and the day itself was really long. (Completely messed up in Korean -- 자신을 소개하지 못했어ㅠㅠㅠ) I’ve gotten textbook situation sorted out, and so I think I’m ready for the term now? Hopefully... though I have an entire extra-curricular life outside of academic life too, so I’m praying I won’t die. *crosses fingers*

The overall feeling I have right now is... I relayed this to some of my friends and family, but it really feels like no time has passed, like summer didn’t happen? It feels like I never really left Montreal, and it’s just a direct continuation from last term (which it is in a sense, but I don’t feel as if I had a break). It’s kind of a weird/new feeling, but maybe this is normal? I couldn’t tell you. Will keep tabs on it though. Had a nice time Skyping with some friends last night, who helped me get settled in nicely. 

It really does feel like autumn right now here in Montreal, though no one seems to notice... 24 celsius is not cool by any means but I’m not feeling the warmth and only barely sweating underneath my sweatshirt. My grandma keeps yelling at me for that.

ANYWAY, new school year, not-so-new me, here’s to getting a slightly tighter grip on my life and emotions, and a renewed sense of commitment to my values and beliefs. 

[q-fonz]

한국 팝 문화 중에 나에게 재밌는 갓에 대해 쓸게요:

내가 드라마를 보통 보지 않은데 엄마가 더블유를 추천하셨다. 그래서 지금 나랑 내 동생 그 드라마를 정말 좋아한다. 강철하고 오연주가 해복할 때 나도 행보하고 강철하고 오연주가 슬플 때 나도 슬프다. 정말로 이종석씨하고 한효주씨의 연기가 아주 좋다. 다음 주에의 제8회를 많이 기대하고 있다!

더블유 제8회를 기다리기 동안 에릭남하고 마마무의 솔라가 있는우리 결혼했어요를 보기 시작한다. 솔직히 내가 사랑스러운 느낌이 싫어서 그 프로그램을 싫어하는 것 같았는데 보면 볼소록 더 좋아요. 일단 에릭남 가끔 영어로 말해서 친한 느낌이 났다. 둘이 한국말로 말할 때 내가 좀 듣고 알아서 자랑스럽다. 그리고 에릭남과 솔라의 관계 너무 귀여워서 보는 게 좋고 웃긴다. 

여자친구 x 마마무 쇼타임 제6회 영어 자막을 아직 기다린다. 그런데 요즘 :너 그리고 나” 많이 듣기 때문에 동생이 이제 그 노래가 싫다... 

끝까지 읽어서 감사합니다!