A/N: Written for the June Jukebox Scribbles. Prompt: “I never understood a single word he said”
Warnings: Implied smut. Please let me know if I missed any!
Word Count: 217
"I've heard that cats are more talkative when their owners are talkative, but Fred isn't very vocal," Mary says to the table.
"He probably talks plenty when we're not home," Frank suggests.
"He talks to me all the time," you chime in. "Your first day at school? He was extra chatty! I never understood a word he said but he must've been missing you."
"He doesn't talk to you," Mary accuses with a small glare.
You shrug your shoulders. "Not to me, of course. I think he likes the sound of his own voice."
Mary huffs in disbelief. "If that were the case, he'd be talking all the time."
"Fair enough," you concede. "But I still promise he talks a lot when you two are gone."
"And where's your proof?"
"What? You can't just take my word for it?"
Frank interjects, "you've been known to tease and exaggerate."
Mary points at him while giving you a "see?" look and you raise your hands in surrender.
"Okay, okay, I'll see about getting you proof."
Mary jumps out of her chair, "you have a camera! I'll go get it so we can set it up!"
You and Frank give each other terrified looks before chasing after her, hoping to catch her before she accidentally sees what's on the camera.
Not beta'd. I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, copied or put through an AI machine.
Tags/warnings: FLUFF, Mary being a Little Shit (but we love her sm)
Summary: When a new neighbour moves next door, Frank's life turns upside down.
Word count: 3.6k | Dividers by @/cafekitsune
Grem's 20s Challenge
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Awoken by moving trucks at eight a.m. on a Saturday was not how Frank's day was supposed to begin. If he was awake, Mary most definitely was and it would be a few more seconds of peace before she burst through the door.
As if on queue, Mary was jumping all over him yelling, "The new neighbour is here! The new neighbour is here!"
"Yeah, I -ooof-" One eight year old foot to the rib knocked the wind out of him for a moment. "I heard. Hey, can you watch where you're putting those hooves?"
Mary giggles jumps down onto his stomach before peeling away to the living room. When Frank finally emerges, Mary and Fred are watching intently through the window, trying to catch a glimpse of the new neighbour.
Shaking his head Frank moves to the kitchen, stepping on a discarded Lego with a hiss and a quick jab at Mary to clean up her toys which she dismisses with a wave.
"Can we go meet them?" Mary calls to him as he makes his coffee.
"Sure. Just let-" Frank sighs as he hears the front door slam as Mary makes a break for the new neighbour. Taking a sip of coffee he says to the kitchen, "Just let me have my coffee first."
Frank manages to catch up to Mary before she steps foot inside your home, peeking around the corner of your front door.
"Hi!" You say brightly, hopping up your porch steps with a moving box in your arms. "Can I help you?"
"Hi! We're your new neighbours." Mary blurts and you grin down at her, setting your box down just inside the door.
"You are?" You say, placing your hands on your hips, addressing Mary directly. "Well, it's nice to meet you both. I'm Y/N."
"I'm Mary and this is my uncle Frank. And we have a one eyed cat called Fred." Mary extends a hand to you that shake enthusiastically, and Frank offers you a sympathetic smile.
"A one eyed cat called Fred?" You chuckle.
"Yeah, he has a song." Before Mary can begin singing Frank clamps her hand on her shoulder.
"Let's... do the song another time, huh? Let's let our new neighbour get back to moving in?" He rubs Mary's shoulder soothingly but shoots her a look that says 'we've done what we came to do'.
"Stop by anytime."
The following week, bright and early at 7am, Mary and Frank catch you outside painting your house. Mary calls your name, thankfully, because Frank forgot it. You turn with a bright smile, greeting them both from across the street. Mary ducks past Frank and, practicing road safety, crosses the street to run up to your porch to see what you're painting.
Franks calls after her and jogs to catch up but halts in his tracks when he sees you're not even the least bit bothered by Mary's presence. His eyes drift to the patch you'd tested with your paint and swallows a gasp.
It's an atrocity.
It's not a normal colour - no - it's hot pink.
"You like it?" You ask Mary who's grinning madly at you.
"Like it?" She beams. "I love it."
"A bit Barbie's Dream House." Frank comments, earning a glare from Mary.
"So?" You quip, fixing your eyes on him.
Frank stumbles. "I - well - it's loud, ya know?"
You quirk an eyebrow, smirking at him teasingly. "And I'll ask again, so?"
Heat rushes to Frank's cheeks and Mary giggles, joining in. "Yeah, Frank. So?"
Knowing he was outnumbered, Frank tactfully held his hands up in surrender. He knew better than to start a debate about someone else's choice in house colour at 7am.
"Frank is free later," Mary announces rather unhelpfully. "He can help you paint."
"Mary." Frank half hisses, shooting her a shut up glare but you smile, eyes bright and warm. Frank tries not to look as sheepish as he feels under your gaze.
"I wouldn't want to impose," you say slowly. "But I could use a hand. If you are free."
"I'll see what I can do." Frank huffs before ushering Mary back towards the truck. "Come on you - school."
Frank reappears a few hours later with extra paint brushes and cleaning supplies. He wordlessly joins you in painting your home and you can occasionally hear him singing (off-key) when he thinks you're out of earshot.
After an hour and a half of hard work in the Florida heat, you come out and hand him a cold beer, which he takes with thanks.
"You know, you didn't have to come help just because your niece forced you to." You tell him, swigging at your own drink. "But I really do appreciate it."
"Just being neighbourly." Frank shrugs with a half smile. "And I wouldn't hear the end of it from Mary or Roberta so I thought I may as well."
"Not even out of the kindness of your heart? Ouch." You grin and Frank huffs a chuckle.
"Why pink?" He asks, fixing you with curious blue eyes. "There's beiges and browns and blues and yellows. There's rose pink too. Why Barbie pink?"
"Because I like it." You say joyfully, laughing when Frank rolls his eyes at you. "What? Your house is turquoise!"
"It was like that when I got it." He says defensively. "It wasn't a choice."
"You saw it and kept it like that all these years." You point out, watching Frank's lips twitch upwards and he attempts to hide it behind another swig of beer.
"Touché."
A few nights later, as you're enjoying a glass of wine on your couch and watching a random movie you'd used for background noise, there's a loud knock at your door. You're surprised to find Frank and Mary stood before you; Mary looking nonchalant and Frank looking slightly panicked.
"Hi sorry-" Frank blurts as soon as you open the door. Mary looks as sweet as pie with her backpack and pillow clutched to her chest. "Emergency at work and Roberta's out. Could-"
"No problem." You hold up your hand and cut him off with a small smile before looking down at Mary. "Wanna make popcorn and watch a movie?"
"Oh hell yeah," Mary grins, before looking sheepish when she realises Frank's raised eyebrows. "Can we do face masks too?"
"'Course. It's not a sleepover without face masks." You tell her, ushering her inside. You look back to Frank who's visibly relieved.
"Thanks, I owe you one. It means-"
You hold up your hand again. "It's nothing, Frank. Get to the docks."
"Thanks." He smiles at you in the warm light of the porch before backing down the steps. "I'll get her tomorrow."
Your sleepover with Mary is so much fun. Mary has quite the personality, which you'd already figured, but you had never seen it so up close and personal. Quick-witted, quick-footed and quick-handed; she had managed to outrun and outwit you through games of hide and seek and trivial pursuit (though you weren't sure how an eight year old was so good at the game or why she loved it).
By midnight, as you settled for a movie and allowed Mary to attempt to paint your nails, you were thoroughly bone tired. You weren't the only one. Mary's nail painting skills left a lot to be desired but thankfully, ten minutes into a cheesy rom-com, she fell asleep on your couch clutching the nail polish.
When Saturday morning rolls around, you wake up later than intended and blink awake to find Mary colouring with crayons at your feet with cartoons playing quietly in the background on your TV.
"Morning hon." You yawn. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"You were tired." She shrugs not looking up.
You smile slightly. "You want breakfast? Has Frank come by yet?"
"Not yet." She says looking up at you, pausing for a moment. "Whaddya have?"
"Cereals. Toast. Pancakes." You wiggle your eyebrows and Mary giggles, nodding her head. "Pancakes it is. Wanna colour in the kitchen with me or do you wanna stay here?"
"I'll come with!" She says cheerily, gathering her things and padding to the dining table with you on her heels. There's a clatter as Mary dumps her crayons onto the table but you can't help but chuckle to yourself as you fetch a bowl and put coffee on to heat up. She was such a chaos gremlin.
"Are your Saturday mornings usually like this?" You ask, tipping pre-made pancake mix into your bowl.
"At Roberta's - yeah." Mary says and you can hear the scratching of crayon as she furiously scribbles.
"What about with Frank?"
"I'm not allowed in the apartment on Saturday mornings," she says simply. "That's Frank's me time."
"Oh," you say, heat flooding to your cheeks, trying to think of a way to change the topic as you beat milk into the dry ingredients. "Well, everyone needs some me-time."
"Yeah," Mary says absently, picking up a new crayon colour. "That's when his lady friends come over. I've gotta give him time to get rid of them."
You try, really try, not to snort; but you end up hiding it behind a cough. "Ah. I see."
"He doesn't like me seeing them." Mary adds, finding another crayon and adding some lime green foliage to her picture. "I think after I caught him with my teacher he's extra careful."
"Your teacher?" You gasp but quickly recover, remembering you were on babysitter duty. "Oh, well, um... that must have been awkward."
"Oh yeah," Mary chuckles with a firm nod. "So awkward. It didn't work out though."
You idly start to heat up a frying pan with a little butter, acting as if this part of the conversation didn't particularly interest you. "Did you like her?"
"Meh." Mary shrugs. "She was patronising at first like all adults but she was alright, I guess."
There's a pause and before you can think of a question, Mary beats you to it.
"What do you think of Frank?"
"Oh - um... he seems nice." Your caught off guard by her question and heat rises to your cheeks. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason!" She chirps, colouring a bit harder.
You want to call her on her bullshit but instead focus your effort into making the gremlin pancakes. Maybe you would be lucky enough to babysit again and quiz her a little more tactfully on her cute uncle.
Floridian weather was nothing to laugh at. The whole week you had high winds and heavy rain and with umpteen weather warnings, you opted to stay indoors. When the weather finally settled on Saturday morning, the street was a mess with leaves, branches and bins strewn everywhere.
There was still a chill when you stepped out in joggers for your morning coffee and you were busy taking in the destruction when you hear a meow from close by. You inch around your porch and see nothing, before catching a flash of a ginger tail in the tree of your yard.
"Hi baby," You coo softly, setting your mug down and approaching the small tree. There's another, softer mew and you finally spot the cat gingerly treading over broken twigs.
When you make the famous pspsps sound, the cat's head angles towards you and you can see he only has one eye.
"Fred?"
The cat meows shyly at you and you can't help but coo at him. Mary must be worried sick. You reach your hands up towards Fred and try to coax him down, promising him you'd take him back to Mary and get him plenty of treats. Instead of gracefully hopping into your arms, Fred dives at your face and you screech with fright, toppling over onto your ass.
Fred scarpers, leaving you on the flat out on the lawn and you hear someone chuckling at your misery, Turning your head Frank, doubled over with laughter, attempting to cross the street. He's laughing so hard his frown lines are creased upwards for once, rosy cheeked with tears streaming down his face.
"Hey neighbour," you wave at him from your space on the ground with a smile. "Didn't happen to see that did you?"
Frank straightens, wiping his face and sighing as he crosses the street quickly to check on you.
"Sorry," He says, grinning and offering you a hand to help you to your feet. "That's the best thing I've seen all month."
"I can tell." You chuckle, grasping his hand and pulling yourself to your feet. You pat down your dress and peek up at Frank. "Your cat is an asshole."
"I'll give him a stern talking to." Frank snarks before seeing a faint red line on your arm and frowning. "Hey, lemme see that."
"Oh? What?" You twist your arm and inspect the cut. Fred must have caught your arm more than you realised but thankfully it was just the surface of your skin, nothing deeper. "It'll be fine."
"No, I insist." Frank says, voice a little softer holding out his hand for an inspection of your arm. "I've got some cleaning wipes and band-aids in the kitchen."
"Frank it's-"
He meets your eyes, boring into yours and you can feel your breath catch in your throat. You clear your throat and offer him your arm.
"I swear I'm fine." You insist feeling heat crawl up your neck as Frank checks your arm. His touch is delicate and featherlight - barely-there touches that makes your brain whirr with excitement.
He releases your hand and awkwardly ruffles his hair, his other hand on his hip. "Sorry. Force of habit."
"It's alright. Don't apologise." You say taking your freed wrist in your other hand. "But I don't have any cleaning wipes though, so maybe I could borrow one?"
"Uh. Yeah. Sure." He clears his throat and makes a gesture for you to follow him across the street.
His apartment is smaller than you realised but it's homely and lived in. Unlike your new home that had boxes to be unpacked, trinkets, toys and photos littered the small space and you smiled spotting Mary's favourite doll sat upright on the sofa as if it was watching TV.
"Your house is lovely." You tell Frank sincerely as he rummages under the sink for the first aid kit.
He almost bumps his head on the way up. "It's a mess."
"It's lived in." You counter, smiling as he hands you a cleaning wipe. You wipe down Fred's claw marks and show off your arm to Frank. "There. All clean."
Frank grins and it catches you off guard, you're used to frowns and subtle smiles not beaming boyish grins.
"You've really eased my conscience." He teases and you find you're already smiling back. "Couldn't bare the thought of you losing your arm to Fred."
"I'm a tough cookie." You playfully argue back.
"I saw when you were flattened by the cat this morning." Frank laughs and you look mock offended.
"Woooow. I see how it is."
"Would - uh..." Frank swallows and looks animatedly around the kitchen for a moment before pointing to the brewing pot. "Do you want some coffee?"
You nod and graciously accept the offer - giggling when Frank's only two clean mugs are Little Miss Sunshine and World's Best Uncle.
"I suppose you want Little Miss Sunshine?" You tease and Frank plays into it, a bit you keep up for far longer than you both should.
You don't realise how long you've been standing in his kitchen drinking almost-but-not-quite cold coffee, making each other laugh over the stupidest things and sharing stories about your lives until Mary returns from Roberta's she eyes you and Frank suspiciously for a moment before giving you a knowing smirk.
"Are you Frank's new lady friend?"
"Mary!" Frank exclaims spitting out his coffee.
"I wouldn't mind if you were." Mary continues before you could respond and you can see Frank stiffen in the corner of your eye. "And neither would Fred. You've got a big, so there's space if we moved in. You're nice and Fred likes you. And, Frank thinks you're cute."
"Mary," he hisses and you can see his face red with embarrassment. "Enough."
You try to pretend to be nonchalant, hiding a smile behind your coffee cup, but then Mary drops you in it too and you almost choke on coffee.
"What?" She bolsters, idly playing with a button on her shirt. "She said you were handsome too!"
You give Frank a sympathetic look and a shrug, acting so unperturbed by the situation, Frank thinks there has to be something wrong with you for not being in uproar. "I did say that."
"So why can't you be together?"
"Because, sweetheart it's not always as simple as that." You ruffle Mary's hair and she steps forward to wrap herself around your waist. "We have have eyes. We can find the other attractive at a surface level."
Frank watches in awe at the scene before him; you with your Best Uncle coffee mug in one hand, the other soothingly rubbing Mary's hair as she clings to you, and with the most gentle of tones patiently explaining attraction to an eight year old.
Frank's chest tightens. He feels warmth hold him like a hug as he sips his coffee. The scene before him feels normal; natural somehow.
In fact, Atrocious Barbie Dreamhouse doesn't seem so bad anymore.
"But you both smile so much when you're together." Mary argues into your dress, peeking up at you through her long lashes. "And it's so fun having you around."
You want to melt into a puddle at Mary's feet. She's so sweet you're sure she'll give you a cavity but it's hard to explain to a child that you can like another person and find them attractive without like-liking them.
"I like being around. And I'll be around for a while, just across the street if you need me." You reiterate firmly and sigh softly looking into her big blue eyes that are pleading with you to date her uncle. You move a piece of hair from her angelic face and tuck it behind her ear. "I enjoy spending time with you both but I'm sorry kiddo you can't force us to be together."
Mary pouts but there's a defiant glint in her eyes that makes you wonder if you should have chosen your words more carefully.
Early Saturday morning you're awoken to your letterbox fluttering as a letter is haphazardly stuffed inside with a devious giggle. The tiny shadow from behind the door disappears hurriedly away from your door and you find yourself grinning as you pick up the letter Mary had oh-so-inconspicuously left you.
You opened it up, seeing her child-like scrawl in felt tip;
To my beautiful sexy neighbour,
If you want to go on a date with me please check one of the below and come over to deliver your reply.
From Frank (your neighbour) xxx
You audibly guffawed when you saw two squares underneath; one with yes and the other double-yes written beside them.
"Mary you little-" you cut yourself off with a snort of laughter, grabbing a pen to note your response and pad out the door in your slippers, tightening your silk robe as you cross the street.
You rap your knuckles against Frank's door and hear his disgruntled, raspy morning voice tell you that he'd "be there in a minute!"
There's a loud curse, the sound of hopping as he approaches the door muttering something about Lego. He's surprised to see you on the other side, leaning against the frame and fanning yourself with your letter, smiling sweetly. In fact, you swear you can see his frown lines soften and his eyes light up, but maybe you were being hopeful.
"Morning. Is everything ok?"
You smack the letter on his chest and he looks down at it confused, slowly opening it as you step away from the porch.
"Your niece is cute." You say, walking backwards across the grass. "She must get that from you."
Frank opens the letter, a mixture of emotions bubbling ranging from irritation, embarrassment and then flustered as he sees that you've checked the box that says double-yes. His face breaks into a beaming grin he can't control and he calls your name, following after you.
You stop walking, already giggling with giddy excitement at seeing his smile. "Yeah?"
"About this date I'm taking you on," he says pretending to act coy. "You wouldn't happen to know where that may be? Or the time? Or day?"
"I think it was for 6pm tonight at the marina," you say faux-thoughtfully. You spot Mary and Fred in the window behind Frank and give them a little wave, and Mary disappears from view in a fit of giggles. You glance back to Frank with a smirk. "I'll bring pizza. You bring beer."
"It's a date." Frank grins, stopping at the end of his lawn. "Come by at five-thirty and I'll drive us in."
"Wow. You have it all planned already - I can't wait." You tease, watching Frank's cheeks turn pink. As you go to cross the street, you can hear Mary's shrill excited voice booming from the house.
"Make sure you take protection!" She yells and you have to slap a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing. Frank looks a mixture of tired and appalled. "I don't want a cousin just yet!"
"Mary, I swear- you can't yell that into the street!" Frank hisses, half chasing her back inside the house - leaving you to reach your door with a longing look back over your shoulder to the turquoise house, wondering if your life was about to change for the better albeit more chaotic.
END
A/N: First Frank fic that's been in the drafts for months? Woohoo! Tumblr actually deleted a whole CHUNK of it which is why it took so long (I was too sad too look at it lol) but here we are! I hope you enjoyed!
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(Characters of your choosing) and spending the day at the beach with reader
Something Different
Summary: It's definitely not the kind of beach Frank and Mary are used to.
"I thought beach days were meant to be spent swimming in the water," Mary complained as you first got out of the car.
"I'm with you on that," Frank gripes. "It's too cold to swim so what's the point of going to the beach?"
"Oh you Floridians are in for a treat," you smile. "Because here along the shores of Lake Michigan, we're going treasure hunting."
"Treasure? Like something from an old sunken ship washed ashore?" Mary pressed, suddenly eager.
"We're looking for petosky stones!" you cheer, bouncing on your feet. "I haven't been out here in so long. I hope we're able to find some good ones!"
"What's a pe..tos..skee stone?" Mary asks, her earlier grumpiness starting to come back.
"They're very rare stones that are actually fossilized coral!" you explain. "They're the state stone of Michigan and I think you can only find them here along this particular lake!"
"Oh! That's cool!" Mary chirps.
"And if we don't find any petosky stones, there are still a number of cool rocks we can pick up," Frank shrugs, a little less grumpy.
"There's also the chance at finding driftwood that was once part of a boat that sank ages ago," you add. "The Great Lakes have taken a lot of ships down over the years. You never know when it will return pieces of what it took."
"Woah!" Mary gasps, eyes wide. "Let's go find fossils and relics!"
