#freud wept

[scuderiacanucks]

the number of times i have failed to tell these women apart is not normal.

[cyberii]

Who knew Sirocco’s got such huge ass XD *source: Demonic Penetrators promo hentai anime

[freudianity]

you know those brain moods where you get yourself upset over ridiculous hypotheticals

“what if i woke up one day to find out the press had leaked sexy pics of me and my famous boyfriend. i look out the window to see the front garden covered in reporters. i have to phone up my family and apologise for this and explain that this wasn’t how i wanted to come out. i can’t get out of the door because i’m too fucked up on anxiety to face the paparazzi. that would suck.”

“but Ian you don’t have a famous boyfriend. there are no photos. there is no press. also you are out to every single person you care about.”

“look shut up and let me worry about this.”

[freudianity]

oh my gooood I need to phone my psychiatrist but I also don't want to be That Patient who hassles them until they call back, but on the other hand I would quite like them to actually call back asap so I can get ADHD meds finally.

how the hell do I mental health system

[freudianity]

vacantvisionary replied to your post:On the downside, I came off my meds by accident. I...

augh yeah i hate it when that happens :<

It sucks pretty bad right now, I spent most of the day in my room trying not to exist too hard in case I disturbed anybody, but it kinda gives me a little perspective on how much less my life sucks when I'm properly medicated?

A few months ago I was in such a bad place that when I had a good day I freaked out and cried and couldn't deal with it. When my meds kicked in back in November I was suddenly so Okay With Things that I was a tiny bit worried that people would think I was on drugs. Which, now I think about it, would have been accurate.

Obviously I'm not saying that this was a great decision and everyone should try coming off the meds for the life-changing perspective, but it does help me figure out just how far things have changed for me when I haven't even noticed.

(This stopped being a reply and started being a general-purpose therapeutic ramble, sorry vv)

[freudianity]

On the downside, I came off my meds by accident. I haven't felt this useless and shitty in a while. On the upside, I now know they actually do something, since I haven't felt this useless and shitty in a while, and it used to be pretty regular.

[freudianity]

Why do I feel guilty whenever I talk or think about ADHD?

[freudianity]

I saw my GP today and he went over the letter my psychiatrist sent to us. He concluded that most of it was completely obvious, and what wasn't obvious was untrue - specifically, that I don't present symptoms of depression, and that my problems derive from sleep disruption (rather than that being a symptom of depression itself).

He also referred me to DSM-IV's criteria for ADHD. I tick pretty much every symptom in the Inattentive section, and you only need 6 or more for it to be a serious consideration. He doesn't have the experience or the authority to actually diagnose or treat it, but he strongly encouraged me to go to the nurse and psychiatrist with a copy of the criteria and wave it vaguely in their face chanting LOOK! LOOK! until they get the picture.

I'm pretty hyped about this, since this is basically what I've been trying to talk to doctor people about for the last six months; I've just been too worried about looking like a self-diagnosing med-seeking ne'er-do-well. And it's the first time I've come out of the doctor's feeling like someone was listening to me.

I see the nurse next Friday, and then the psych is like a month afterwards thanks to the scheduling miracles of the British health system. Hopefully I'll have the sense to actually press this now I actually have backing.