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In a culture where it is the norm for women to shave/wax their body hair and facial hair, do you think that a woman who DOESN'T remove her visible body/facial hair is inherently gender-nonconforming?
Yes, regardless of other aspects of gender expression
No, that doesn't inherently/by itself make her gender-nonconforming
Other nuanced answer
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
haircuttt!!
I got it like around 3 weeks ago-ish, and yeah i do like it, my reference photo was this:
but like i wish it was more masc and less like, idk, mushroom-like, even though i love mushrooms lol
but yeah reveal here
also yeah thats my dog
hes my child and i love him
his name is toby <3
i tried to make these dragon horns for a cosplay im making but theyre too long so now i have to make shorter ones
but yeahhhh
:P
@111dollboy :)
I think I wouldn't have as strong of feelings about TS if she wasn't around my age, but I've always been so embarrassed to be represented by her going back to her first album. She was always all in on performing stereotypical femininity to an extreme degree, but also her early songwriting seemed to me to be performing a very specific type of wide-eyed naivete and melodrama that's expected of teenage girls.
She's gotten a lot of mileage (read: money) out of stereotyping herself although the archetype she mimics changes with age (oh sorry I mean "era"), but there's never been enough nuance or individuality to come across as authentic to me.
And on the rare occasions when she's tried writing about anything bigger than herself or relationship drama, she's so obviously not really interested in it except how she can make a product out of it. Even as a teenager, I was deeply interested in the world and learning about the struggles of people different from me, but the person who was anointed Representative of Teenage Girls back then with adults in the media falling all over themselves to gush over how her lyrics were supposedly universally relatable to teenage girls (since they couldn't genuinely say they thought her lyrics were good on their merits) was this obnoxiously shallow, stereotypical, virgin-whore complex promoting cardboard cutout.
And she has not gotten deeper with age!
There are so, so many things wrong with the trans representation in The IT Crowd Series 3, Episode 4, “The Speech.” We’re talking early 2000s British sitcom transphobia turned up to eleven. From the line “used to be a man,” to casting a cis woman to play a trans woman, to the punchline basically being “surprise! she’s trans!” it's a mess. A very dated, very mean-spirited mess.
But there’s one aspect of it that weirdly stands out to me. Not because it’s good, but because it accidentally brushes up against a real conversation. April is portrayed as liking things that are coded “masculine.” Boxing. Motorcycles. Whiskey. And yes, the show absolutely presents this in the most mocking way possible, with the clear subtext being “see? she’s still just a man inside.” It’s played for laughs. It’s supposed to undermine her identity.
And yet, even if it’s clearly coming from a transphobic place, I keep circling back to it, because it touches on something that still comes up today, even in supposedly “positive” portrayals of trans characters.
There’s this unspoken expectation in a lot of media that when a trans person transitions, they have to completely reinvent themselves in accordance with binary gender norms. If a trans woman likes sports or cars or wears something even remotely androgynous, that's suspect. If a trans man enjoys baking or cries easily or wears pink, same thing. There’s this underlying pressure that, now that you’ve “picked a side,” you have to fully commit to all the gender roles, aesthetics, hobbies, and social expectations that go along with it. Like you’re doing gender as a performance, and the audience is always watching.
And that sucks.
It’s still enforcing gender roles, just under a different name. It reduces transition to assimilation, and treats gender like a costume change rather than a lived experience. It boxes people in. It implies that being trans is only valid if you perform your affirmed gender in the most stereotypical way possible, all the time, without deviation.
So IT Crowd did a bad job. A very bad job. But this one element, April liking “manly” stuff, accidentally shines a light on a real issue. Not because the show handled it with any nuance (it didn’t), but because even now, even in more progressive media, we don’t always leave room for trans people to be whole individual people.
You can be a trans woman who likes whiskey and boxing. You can be a trans man who knits and gardens. You can be nonbinary and wear a three-piece suit or a ballgown or both in the same week. None of that undermines your gender. None of that makes you “less trans.”
Gender is not a checklist. Transition is not a surrender to stereotypes. And representation that only shows trans people performing idealized versions of femininity or masculinity misses the whole point: that we are diverse, messy, personal, and real.
So while The IT Crowd didn’t mean to say any of that, and absolutely doesn’t deserve praise for how it treated April, that one weird detail accidentally nudges at something bigger. And I think it’s worth talking about.
Friendly reminder that absolutely 0 people owe you gender conformity, whether they're cis, trans, nonbinary, agender, gender fluid, multi gender
Nobody owes you gender conformity
I've seen people applaud cis men im dresses and then turn to trans men in dresses and say theyre not really trans because they choose to dress in "feminine" clothing. Its bullshit, and its hella transphobic
NOBODY OWES YOU GENDER CONFORMITY
thiz juzt in !!: if u get gender-conforming itemz it will give u gender euphoria !! thatz all 4 2day, folkz !!
the transgression of "cross-gender" deception
(in reference to this post)
both "man pretending to be a woman" and "girl pretending to be a boy" instances in media are treated as deceptions because of sex-gender essentialism and a violation of the sanctity of single-gender enclaves, but i think there is a specific edge to "girl pretending to be a boy" and it's: you hid the fact that you were fuckable. this is supposed to be guys-among-bros but you're gender wot is theoretical wife material and you deceived us by hiding that. by natural right of our and your gender we should get to pursue you but you robbed us of the chance because you lied.
because the point of gender conformity is heteronormative desirability. and heteronormative desirability is considered the mark of value for women and anyone stuck in that box.
Can you divorce people and gender conformity
(If so, men can wear dresses freely and women can wear tuxedos and business suits freely)
lol i wish
Humans and Gender Conformity are Divorced!
