Julian To Kieran
PRIVATE COMMUNIQUE: DO NOT SHARE ON PAIN OF DEATH
From: Julian Blackthorn of Blackthorn Hall
To: Kieran, King of Unseelie
Well, weâre back from the Seelie Court. Good news: we got the fish slice. Bad news: we didnât learn very much and we raised a lot of suspicion. But Iâm happy to share with you how things went in the hope that you will find it informative. I hope also that you will consider it sufficient exchange for the favor you now owe a phouka. (I am pretty sure that favor will involve asking you to buy a hat.)
We were pretty nervous about going, even with Adaonâs inviteâthe last time we were in Faerie, things were not great. It was all gray smoke and snow and moths and blasted areas of dead land. All of that seems to be over and done with; Faerie looks healthy again. It was autumn there, and the ground was covered in fallen leaves, all red and gold.
Anyway, we followed Adaonâs instructions and entered Faerie through an old barrow at Primrose Hill. We ended up in a forest clearing with two big wooden doors rising up out of the ground. And Adaon was there to meet us, which was nice of him.
But he did not look happy. He hurried over and explained that he had had to tell the Queen we were coming. âThere isnât much that occurs under her roof,â he said, âof which she is unaware. It is how she has maintained her power all this time, in part.â
He looked so miserable that Emma told him it was all fine and we werenât doing anything that the Queen would disapprove of, or even care about. He just kind of shook his head. âOne never knows just what her Majesty will care about. Or disapprove of. She has bid me take you both to the throne room upon your arrival, and so that is what I must do.â
Now I began to feel a bit more nervous. I reminded Adaon that he had guaranteed our safety. He said, âBy the laws of hospitality, not to mention the Accords, she may not harm you or detain you, if your purpose be virtuous.â But he was shaking his head again.
âLet me guess,â I said. âThe Queen has the exclusive power to decide if our purpose is virtuous or not.â
Adaon smiled thinly. âQuite.â But he brought us to the throne room.
The throne room was just as autumn-themed as the clearing. More so, really. But it wasnât about the end of the growing season or being sad that summer was over. It was more like a harvest celebration. There were cornucopias, is what Iâm saying, spilling over with gourds, apples, pears, corncobs. There were hay bales, which is kind of funny since nobody in that throne room has, I promise you, ever baled hay. There were pixies with fiery butterfly wings, circling the ceiling.
The Queen was, not surprisingly, on her throne. She wore a dress that I swear, was entirely made of glittering green scarab beetles sewed together. Her hair was like an explosion of red-gold flames around her face. She doesnât look sickly or emaciated anymore, like she did when we last saw her, and she seemed to exude a power sheâd been missing before.Â
There were the usual groups of faeries scattered around the roomâcourtiers, I guessâgossiping, tittering, sometimes just sitting around being louche. So everything seemed normal there. They barely paid attention to us, just kind of craned their necks over, realized we werenât interesting, and got back to lounging.
I expected the Queen to immediately start insulting us, but she was actually quite cordial. Not warm. But not unfriendly, either. Of course, she did want to be complimented on the dĂ©cor first. She waved her hand around at the throne room and opened with, âYou choose a fair season to visit us.â
âItâs cheerier than last time,â Emma said.
âAnd yet you have chosen to return,â the Queen said, as though she was pleased about it, âdespite theâŠlack of cheer at our last meeting.â
âIt has been a long time since we saw our friend Adaon,â I said. âWe sought the pleasure of his company.â
âSayest thou such?â said the Queen, which I suspect is Faerie-speak for So, thatâs obviously bullshit. Â âAs you must know, it is not outside the realm of my knowledge that your brother is the consort of the Unseelie King.â
âOnly one of his consorts,â Emma pointed out.
The Queen ignored her. âSurely youâve anticipated that I would suspect you of espionage.â
âWe are not here for the Unseelie King,â I said, âbut rather regarding our interests in the Seelie Court. Indeed, our family is connected to the Seelie Court in several ways. As you know.â
The Queen ignored me as well. âYour best defense, it seems to me, is that you are such obvious choices for espionage, that surely Kieran Kingson [I think this was meant to be an insult to you, me or both of us] would be cleverer than to choose you as his spies.â
âThat too,â Emma said.
âWell, then,â the Queen said. âSpin me a tale. What is your purpose here?â
I felt like we had nothing to lose with the truthâwe really werenât doing anything the Queen should care about. So I gave her the whole story: we inherited a house in London; the house is cursed; we want to undo the curse. I emphasized that neither the house nor the curse were fey-related at all. (I did not bring up Round Tom, as I thought it would be distracting to the main point.)
Breaking the curse requires that (among other things) we get our hands on this fish slice; weâve learned the fish slice is or was in the possession of Socks MacPherson the phouka; weâve come to bargain with him for it, and we arranged an invitation through Adaon because we had no way to contact MacPherson directly.
âAll we need to do,â Emma said, âis barter with MacPherson for the fish slice. We can do it right here in the throne room, if he could be sent for.â
The Queen looked very interested all of a sudden. âYou are willing to do the business here, and never enter the Court proper at all?â
I explained to the Queen that we strongly shared her desire for us not to have to enter the Court.
She seemed surprised, but she called over one of the courtiers and murmured to him. âThe phouka will be sent for,â she said. âPrince Adaon, when the Nephilim have concluded their negotiation with him, you will escort them back outside and see them off.â Adaon bowed his assent. âAnd now,â she said, and her eyes flicked over to one side, âI must beg your pardon, as I see that I am needed.â
We stepped aside to let her descend the throne. I saw that a man had come in who I didnât recognizeâbut he was clearly someone of importance given how differently he was dressed than anybody else there. Rather than garb appropriate to court, he was in a gray-green hooded cloak, and his face was obscured by a mask like a falcon head. His clothes were more appropriate to hunting in the woods than anything else, but they were perfectly clean. I didnât know what to make of himâbut I thought I had better pass along his description to you. You said to look for anything new or out of place, and I couldnât help feeling like he was.
We waited around and chatted with Adaon for a couple of minutes and then Socks MacPherson showed up. Weâve met a couple phoukas beforeâone of them is the gatekeeper at the LA Shadow Market, as you might rememberâand I had thought maybe MacPherson would turn out to be one of those, but no, totally different guy. He was wearing a huge round fur hat that his ears stuck through. It was a lot of hat.
 He seemed surprised that the Queen had left us alone, and said he was sorry if we had been harassed overmuch on his account. I said she had probably meant to loom over us but had been called away unexpectedly. MacPherson shrugged and said, âShe thinks everything is a move in some game of five-dimensional chess she is playing. But sometimes, someone only wants to trade me something for a kitchen tool. Speaking of which, I have the fish slice.â
He took it out of a kind of carpet bag he had brought with him, and immediately the Ghost Sensor went off like crazy and he kind of jumped away and hid behind one of the groups of courtiers. Although we could still see his hat. (And his ears twitching above the hat.) So we had to go over and explain that it was just a device that detected the cursed objects we were looking for and that the noise was good because it confirmed that the fish slice was the one we wanted. The courtiers shooed us away; they had some important luxuriating to get to that we were delaying.
Socks grumbled that of course âthat miserable Spoonâ gave him a cursed fish slice. âI donât know why I took the deal,â he said. âI donât have any use for this thing. Iâm a vegetarian.â
Finally he asked what we were offering, we told him a favor from you and explained how it was we were qualified to offer such a thing. He said the offer was acceptable and we took home the fish slice.
To sum up: Socks MacPherson is protected by the Seelie Court but didnât blink at accepting a favor from the Unseelie Court. The Queen remains suspicious, both in the sense that she suspected us and in the sense that her behavior was itself weird. The Seelie Court is definitely hiding something, given how relieved the Queen was the minute she realized we werenât going to actually leave the throne room and enter the court to look around. I have a feeling, based on nothing really â that itâs not a something but a someone that theyâre concealingâif it was an object surely they could just hide it somewhere we wouldnât see it? But, itâs just a feeling.
So thatâs it. My deepest gratitude to you, as always, for all your help. Iâm sure you were anticipating more information than the above, but hopefully it will be of some use to you.
Our love to Mark and Cristina, and to you of course. And above all, glory to Kraig.
Julian
















