April 19, 2017 // My sophomore year of college has definitely been an experience I'm incredibly thankful for and one that I'll never forget. I’ve been blessed with friendships that I never thought I would. However, it has really robbed me of something I have always prided myself on: my relationship with God. Before, I attended church pretty regularly. I have been going back and forth for a few years now. My family has never been super religious, but my parents instilled in me Christian values and always taught me that God loves me no matter what. Well, to be quite frank, the past few months I have never believed that statement to be farther from the truth. Between the declining health of family members and my own health deteriorating by the second, I can't help but feel a little abandoned. I hate to have that "why me?" attitude, but really, why me? Why now when I have exams and homework and more stress than I've experienced in my entire life knocking on my door? Why add in a few more blows when I already feel like I've hit rock bottom? I know that God never gives us more than we can handle, but man sometimes I feel like he severely overestimates my stress threshold. This semester has brought up new challenges in my life: problems I never thought I would face again, and have no idea how to solve. If you know me at all, you know the worst thing in the world for me is when I feel helpless. I feel like my duty on this planet is just to fix everything and everyone, so when I can't fix something, I think the world is crashing down. I contribute the majority of these instances to the fact that I've drifted so far away from God. Instead of taking time to myself to really enjoy life, I've been doing what I think I should be doing as a college sophomore. This year has changed me from this carefree, life-loving girl who didn't care about anyone else's opinion to a person that is struggling everyday. I have turned into the kind of girl that I hate, but it's not too late for me to reverse the damage. I know that God has not abandoned me. I have turned my back on him. You know that saying "you can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped?" Well that definitely applies to God helping you along in your life. He cannot provide you with the guidance you need unless you are actively seeking him and turning to him for help. I been looking and praying and seeking him, but I still feel so empty. We are not meant to face this life alone. We need a little help along the way every once in a while. Stop turning your back on God and ask for his help, because with his hands working in your life everything will be better.