#guidebetelgeuse

[deadlyvutwo]

Episode One

Beetlejuice and Lydia must stop an otherworldly abomination from ruining their Halloween and possibly far, far worse...

Coming soon !

[kmclaude]

@guidebetelgeuse

See that's so wild to me because like.....bitch it's Beetlejuice

Like....the kid friendly version has a 7th grader having anniversaries and almost kissing (if not for bugs in teeth) a middle aged ghost IN THE FIRST EPISODE! FOR KIDS! Danny "I-i-i love little girls" Elfman made the intro! The animators' pr0nz alone! Like WHYYYYYYYYY is there this bullshit there? Why would you who makes that gud beetlebabes content be outcast??? It's so stupid!!!

Ngl I get a good laugh outta people whose header says antibeetlebabes that reblog my art like....bruh.....I'm cartoonverse Beetlebabes of all verses

It's so bogus man I'm sorry 😯

[xxx-theartofsuicide-xxx]

Excerpt from An Inconvenient Marriage, Chapter 21: The Master of Horror

FF and Ao3 links

[xxx-strangeandunusual-xxx]

You know some real bad tricks, and you need some discipline

What to wear, what to wear… Valentine’s Day had finally arrived. It fell on a Friday, coincidentally the same day Lydia and Betelgeuse had agreed on reuniting. She had no doubt that he was around— spying, using whatever supernatural means he already had to check in on her whenever the mood struck. But he was a good, patient husband and allowed her to carry out her weekdays at school and with the Maitlands unencumbered by his company.

She was already at the lighthouse, deferring to search for an outfit there. Red seemed the obvious choice given the spirit of the holiday, but something kept drawing her toward the white dresses. Lydia couldn’t remember ever having worn white, even when she was a small child and what she wore wasn’t necessarily up to her. Curiously, she picked through the selection until finding one that called to her. It was vintage in style, with laces that ran up the back and layered, bouncing skirts that were longer in the front and back than they were on the sides. The sleeves were long, slipping off her shoulders and bellowing out at the elbows, a neat lace trim feathering the hems.

It fell lightly and easily over her body, conforming perfectly to her shape the way everything Ginger made for her had. The stark white cotton was only just a few shades lighter than her own skin. She almost donned her horns before deciding she wanted just a little more time to talk with her husband before he jumped her bones. Instead, she tied a pretty red ribbon into a tidy bow above her head. This kind of look was a bit more cutesy than Lydia would usually go for, but it was Valentine’s Day and she was in a mood. To offset the sugary sweetness of her attire, her favorite pair of clunky black combat boots were left on her feet, adequately providing the gothic edge she wanted.

Miraculously, Betelgeuse hadn’t come to call for her yet. It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that he was also unaware of Valentine’s Day and wouldn’t have any romantic offerings for her, but Lydia didn’t mind. Crimson gift box in hand wrapped up with a pretty black and white ribbon that Lydia procured specifically for this, she abandoned the closet in search of her husband.

“Betelgeuse?” She called from the top landing of the circular staircase, voice resonating through the entire house. “Are you home?” Silence. Disappointment started to intrude in on her excitement, a frown turning her painted red lips. Didn’t he hear her? “I missed you.”

[mostghcst-a]

Evening at Dante’s

@guidebetelgeuse

Depraved moans and fiendish laughter rose just above the roar from some impossibly loud jukebox, fiends in scanty clothing writhe, undulate and twirl on poles and in cages high above the sea of tangling masses in the devil-red light and glow of various neon lights. A haze of cigarette smoke made the door-less, windowless pleasure-pit only more nightmarish.

Happy hour at Dante's Inferno , it seemed , was in full swing. Then again, when time is a construct the patrons no longer subscribed to, a happy 'hour' could stretch for days, weeks, years. No one involved knew exactly how long they had been there, or how much longer before they might find the will/desire/ability to leave. But why should any of it matter? What else was there to do with eternity?

When a tear formed in the ceiling, the dancers and minglers routinely cleared a space on the grimy checkered floor. Without a beat to spare, a man in stripes plummeted through the smoke and landed on his back with a graceless flop. The crowd simply resumed their activities around him, nonplussed. 

The new arrival came up swinging, practically kicking himself into the air to fight whoever he'd been previously engaged with. After a pregnant pause, Betelgeuse stiffly dropped his arms and adjusted his disheveled suit with a grumbled "god damn chicken-shit, ya better fuckin' run--" to anyone close enough to hear. Ego rumpled along with his tie, the ghoul known as Betelgeuse stalked his way through the crowd towards the bar .

“S’cuse me, good ta see ya, fuck off, nice tits --”

Dante's had become a second home for Betelgeuse. The morons up top had the nerve to call this a punishment, a way to 'do away with him' for a time. He was fairly certain the pencil-neck office geeks in Upper Management had never set FOOT in the pleasure pit, otherwise they'd be keenly aware that Dante's was NOT a good place to serve out a 'banishment'. Unless you considered drinking yourself into a stupor and getting your liquid brains fucked out a PUNISHMENT.

But, then again, why the hell would he ever complain?

Shouldering himself a space at the bar , the Dante regular leaned across the filthy expanse to glare back and forth. After only a few seconds with no bartender’s attention, drumming claws curling into a fist, he shouted above the roar, " What's a guy gotta do to get a DRINK around here ! ? "

[frankenbolt]

guidebetelgeuse replied to your post: It’s been a bit of a crap couple of weeks. Chuck...

Uhmm! How do you think Lizzie will come to terms with Fred’s bad-boy past, aaaand will you write any specific adventures with him and Beetlejuice having gotten up to Very Bad Things?

Two very good questions.

I think Lizzie hasn’t had enough time to process all the ghost business yet. She’s had a lot of information just dumped on her very quickly. She hasn’t had time to really sort out how she feels about the fact that life after death exists, and that it isn’t the standard Christian boiler plate fare. She knows about how Fred had been a bit of a Bastard (B’stard) in life thanks to their time at the museum. 

But she has no idea really what he’d done to earn his punishment in death. I can’t say how she’s going to deal with that when she HAS finally processed all of it, because that’s something I’m going to write in an upcoming chapter.

Which brings us to your second question.

The very bad things Fred and Beetlejuice got up to. There are three, very bad things that they got up to. The big one is the Winchester Incident, which is based on the real life Winchester Mansion. The second one is something that happened on Saturn, with the dead who reside in that half of Neitherworld. And the third one is something that happened on Venus at the Bureau for Undead Civil Service.

I am absolutely going to touch on all three events in future flashback chapters, and both Elizabeth and Lydia are going to find out about these events together. Which should be traumatic for everyone involved. :D

[kmclaude]

guidebetelgeuse replied to your post “Annemarie: I'm BLEEDING. Émile: Hey, Bleeding, I'm Daddy. I'll...”

This reminds me thaaaaat I super wanna comm you to finish that red fingers beej/lyds thing you started ages ago >_>;;

yooooo don’t worry -- that’s bumfudgingly pricey for one person to do! -- and any way it’s still on my plate (my script is ~10 comic pages but I basically blanked out on the sex lmaoooo) 

ideally I’d love to be able to make something along those lines for Problematic Zine that’s over on twitter -- the theme’s ageplay and all the age related problematique ships and topics and I mean hey, I’ve been shipping cartoonverse Beej and Lyds since I was a kindergartner -- but I am brain focused on other stuff so it’d probably just be illos since the due date is uhhhhh March 29th???

I never saw The Picture the cartoon team made but I’m all about making something inspired by it

[kmclaude]

guidebetelgeuse replied to your photoset “What can I say? I really really wanted to be (and bone) Beetlejuice…...”

One of my favorites... this really struck a chord with me, especially the eventual coming round to a little more normalcy once I was able to engage in actual, real intimacy... while retaining quite a bit of freaky up in there. Similarly, totally wanted to be & bone Beetlejuice (I'm still there, can you tell lol) - I love the dreamlike quality your lines lend to this. Lovely stuff!

thanks @guidebetelgeuse! yeah, and looking back NOW I realize, you know what? I can actually engage in the gothic aesthetic and lust for death in a healthy and fun way rather than a self-flagellating sort of way? (not to imply that necrofantasies are unhealthy -- it’s the self-flagellating punishing that’s the problem there, the self-loathing and defeat not the deathly pallor) and there are still elements of truth in there -- there’s sex I can literally never have (and frankly I’m still trying to find a strap situation that don’t suck) and in turn there’s fantasies that are unrealistic -- but this time ‘round it’s less “oh woe is me, I am so depraved, no one would want this” and more “BABES ok wouldn’t it be hot to like consume someone’s flesh, ripping out guts, killing mid-coitus? is that not peak romance? is not the goal exquisite corpse? bABES!!!!” followed by unconditional acceptance because we all have weird things that press right right riiiiight on the id (most of what i draw, for instance, is me slamming the gas pedal right onto my id ahaha)

(lol i see and feel you ♥)