It's not exactly something he had planned. Or, maybe not exactly like this, exactly.
Kyle got the SUV for getting a predictably amazing score on his SATs. It's the cherry on top of his incredible grades that could take him basically anywhere. He celebrated with his friends first. He didn't want to talk about it though, when Gary asked. So he didn't press. He did however think it was fitting to invite Kyle out for what would hopefully be a better time.
Finding a drive-in theater had proved to be a pain, and maybe it'd been a stupid idea when the spring chill had yet to let up. But they'd worked it out anyway. Never let it be said that the two young men weren't stubborn.
Only for Gary to find himself too distracted to watch the movie.
The situation is insanely cozy. Dark but not totally; they're piled in with plenty of blankets and pillows. And darn it all to heck, but Kyle is stunning. Gary can just barely catch flashes of the dark green of Kyle's eyes (left one specifically but that's semantics) when the movie screen gets bright. He feels warm and safe and... in private.
The question slips out like water through loose fingers. Naturally, but the blond is frozen stiff after. Terrified of a dozen different things at once.
Rejection. Acceptance. Questions. Sinning. Isolation. The future. The present. His parents. Himself. Kyle. Other people overhearing. Never being able to open his mouth again.
Seconds pass so he has plenty of time to messily overthink everything.
Kyle stares in the time he wastes not responding. "Huh?"
"I- I'm sorry," he rushes out, "I shouldn't have-"
Gary feels himself blink. "...Wait, what?"
"Yeah. You can kiss me." Kyle sits up on his elbow, expression setting into stone as he leaned in.
Gary's eyes flick back and forth between Kyle's determined eyes and his relaxed lips.
Up, down, up, down, down. Down.
He licks his lips. "Yes. Alright."
When the LDS teen leans close, his heart is pounding. It would be a lie to say he hasn't thought about this. Dreamt about it. Prayed for answers he didn't entirely believe when he got them. That gentle familiar warmth of 'right' that he'd gotten as familiar with as possible since he turned eight.
It was a sin to lie.
He'd been doing a lot of lying, he thinks.
He only closes his eyes when he's sure he hasn't missed, but Kyle isn't so hesitant. It's a magical sight, watching them slide closed. Gary hopes he's got it committed to memory by the time he let's his sight go dark too.
Kyle's lips are warm. Mostly soft. A little dry. A little sticky from the movie snacks they bought. Also sweet. They don't kiss hard but Gary let's it drag on and on. The dialogue of the movie does spoil the 'Time has Stopped' effect, but it still has those overtones. It's a... what did Ams call it? A mood.
It's pathetic that he chases after the other teen like a needy dog when he starts pulling back, Gary does at least restrain himself from climbing on top of the other man. That's definitely a sin and, far worse yet, likely pushing Kyle past his comfort zone.
"Mmn... Sorry."
Kyle laughs quietly, keeping him close with his hands fisted onto his jean jacket's lapels. "Uh, you're cool. ...Where'd that come from?"
"Huh?" He opens his mouth before processing the question. "O-Oh. You mean the kiss? Right." Gary chewed his lip for a few minutes. It was actually a complicated question. Did the other only mean now? Or the cumulative things leading up to this moment?
"Why did you want to kiss me all of the sudden?" Kyle presses with an eager little smile. Gary doesn't actually mind the impatience. It's better that he not be allowed to run circles in his head, this being one of the only subjects that he couldn't just shut down with willpower.
"Oh. It wasn't all of the sudden," Gary says casually. This voice doesn't match how heavy the confession makes his heart feel. How real his situation is becoming.
"Really? ...How long have you wanted to do that?" They've both forgotten the movie now.
That's... not a simple question either.
"I... It's hard to say? Longer than I was honestly... aware of, probably?"
One of Kyle's brows raise. The look is settled somewhere between curious and a touch judgemental. "Okay, how did you figure it out then?"
Oh heavens. There is no one exact moment, in Gary's humble opinion. Steps both forward and backward. He tries to pinpoint a breaking point though.
"It was... a couple... no, a month ago. Less maybe? I just realized that everything I was doing... Every decision I've been making has been revolving around you."
"Like what?" He can feel Kyle's finger tracing his collarbones. The curly haired teen looks smitten. It's the first time he's worn that look when he knew Gary was looking.
"...Like wearing cologne anytime I know I'll see you. Dressing up more cause it makes you look at me more. Like putting up with Stan."
Kyle snorts, "That's cute dude."
"Thanks." Gary presses into his space again, pressing a kiss on his jaw. Purely to feel warmth on his lips again.
The recipient hums and Gary can feel it down to his flipping toes. "So... What now?"
"I... Don't know." His heart is going to explode, and he's starting to breathe a bit fast. The blond tries to pull away but Kyle keeps him close.
"Why? ...You're not with Annie anymore so can't we-?"
"If my parents find out... Christ above preserve me, I don't know what's going to happen. ...I want to think nothing." He can't meet Kyle's eyes, so he looks at the big screen out the trunk door. It's a cruddy view laying on his side like this.
"Oh." The disappointment is there but the anger is greater. It would be. "That's bullshit Gary."
"It's not that simple Kyle."
"Is too. You're their kid. They should back you up no matter what they think."
"...Can we talk about this more another time? I want to- but I'm not... I'm not really ready yet." He thinks about pulling further away. Kyle's grip isn't so tight anymore so he probably will let him. Yet... Yet it's sort of more comforting nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Dizzying, but nothing is perfect here.
Kyle pouts, he barely sees it as he dives in. After about a minute, Gary can feel him nodding.
"...Is this okay?" He's blushing and sick, but he doesn't want to move.
"Yeah. If you're okay." The guy responds hesitantly. But he still wiggles in closer, squeezes his arm around the wider pair of shoulders. Head seated firmly on top of Gary's.
He can feel the curls. Darn, he's on the verge of having a heart attack, though he's happy. Under the shallow, human panic. This is freaking comfortable.
Maybe it's not possible. There's just enough evidence on each side that Gary really isn't sure he can be sure for once. By the will of their Heavenly Father above though.... He wants to take Kyle with him to Heaven.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/13659327
